


The Crimson Paradox

by verse2logy (myentropicmess), wordswithoutsense



Category: GOT7
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Alternate Universe - Vampire, Angst, Eventual Smut, Explicit Sex, Fluff and Angst, Identity Issues, M/M, Mutual Pining, Romance, Slow Burn, Supernatural Elements
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-12
Updated: 2020-03-15
Packaged: 2021-02-19 02:17:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 54,913
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22870282
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/myentropicmess/pseuds/verse2logy, https://archiveofourown.org/users/wordswithoutsense/pseuds/wordswithoutsense
Summary: After his last failed relationship, Jaebeom has been stuck in a dull routine. To change that, his friends Bambam and Youngjae recommend he use a dating app where he meets someone that turns his world upside down. Literally. His life is about to change, along with his beliefs and everything he had considered real until now.
Relationships: Im Jaebum | JB/Park Jinyoung
Comments: 33
Kudos: 156
Collections: JJP Big Bang





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was meant to be shorter (HA! SHORTER! 🤡) but this ended up being not only our first fic in a while but our first long fic! publishing this fic really feels like sending your child off to university... we spent so much time writing, working hard on it and correcting it that this is a kinda bittersweet moment ("yay! we finished it!" but at the same time "no! it's over!" ｡ﾟ･（>﹏<）･ﾟ｡). we feel that we learned a lot and that we grew a lot along with our writing and, above all... we gained a lot of confidence! we want to thank two people that helped us a lot with that. first, we want to thank our beta reader lore! thank you SO MUCH for having so much patience and taking your time correcting our fic with such care. your suggestions helped us a lot and we feel that we learned a lot with you! (ɔ◔‿◔)ɔ♥ second, thank you vale ([@kvarichina](https://twitter.com/kvarichina?s=08)) for reading our fic, giving us your opinions and encouraging us so much with your advice and comments! thank you so much for the hard work you poured on the art you've done for the fic (and that y'all going to see)... it's amazing and we're in love with it! you're such a GREAT ARTIST and we hope that you'll have a great future ahead ♡＾▽＾♡ thank you girls for cheering on us and giving us so much confidence! we love u! ♡

It was a gloomy day and the rain soaked the window panes, but Lim Jaebeom didn't seem to notice. He was absolutely lost in his thoughts while looking at his phone, as if he was waiting for something to happen. And in fact, he was. He had just sent a message a few minutes ago, and waiting for an answer was killing him. 

His dark and disheveled hair fell on both sides of his face, framing his almost perfect features. His dark eyes fixed on the screen, sparkling with something similar to illusion. He embraced a cushion to hide his smile, since he didn’t want to be seen, while lying down on one of the couches without leaving an empty spot, even though it was a two seater sofa. The rest of his body was hidden under a warm blanket, protecting him from the cold temperatures, and he was moving his right foot to the rhythm of a song that could only be heard in his mind. 

He was excited. Really, really excited. 

And suddenly, the phone pinged, he jumped and his whole world centered on the shiny screen.

"Here we go again," said a voice from across the living room.

Jaebeom didn’t look up from typing his response. However, he mumbled from behind the cushion. 

“Shut up, Youngjae.”

“When will you guys finally meet? I swear you pay more attention to your phone than us. It’s as if your phone has become a part of you since you have tried that app.”

“That’s true!” another voice came from the other old but cozy couch in their living room. “When was the last time we went out together as friends, hyung?” Bambam pouted and Jaebeom lifted his head and huffed, the cushion falling to the floor. 

“We went out last Thursday!” Jaebeom complained. 

“You could say that you went out on a date with your phone, hyung! You were texting the whole time!” Bambam added. 

“But you said you had fun!” 

“Yes, and I also said you needed to take some lessons on how to understand sarcasm.” Bambam rolled his eyes. “You never did, though.”

Jaebeom sighed. Although he didn’t want to admit it, his friends were probably right. His life had been a complete mess the past few months, a chaos of ups and downs between work, school and anime related things that helped to make his daily life more bearable. He was just trying to keep his mind occupied, and the latter was, in fact, very useful, especially when you dove into Naruto's universe and insisted on keeping up with the story. However, being busy for fourteen hours a day did nothing for the strain that had built up in his body, mind and heart. 

He was still feeling empty, alone and devastated. The loneliness was slowly consuming him.

It was a truly terrifying feeling. He was on a roller coaster of negative emotions, falling deeper into a black hole that made him feel even more depressed as time passed by.

However, the situation had changed just a few weeks ago, all thanks to his great friends and housemates. Why? Because they couldn’t have come up with a better idea than to resort to a dating app to have a good time. 

A good time that had finally turned into several weeks, hundreds of messages and a lot of stupid smiles, at least from his side of the screen. 

Jaebeom couldn’t even remember how they convinced him to download the app. As with any good story, it probably was due to an interweaving of now blurry decisions that led him to that situation. He didn’t _need_ a partner, for starters. It was true that after the big disaster his last relationship turned out to be, he got lonely, but that was pretty much it. He didn’t turn into the sulky weeb monster his friends had made him out to be. He just had been snowed under by his hellish part-time job and his university schedule. He had simply been too busy juggling all the other things he had to do. However, his friends saw things differently. Bambam thought that the best solution to his problems was a dating app that a friend of a friend of a friend had recommended to him. “Just try it, man,” Bambam had said in broken English as he stole his phone to download the app, dodging the fury of his hyung. Then, before he knew it, Jaebeom was already updating his own profile, swiping, and finding a perfect match. The rest was history. 

Jaebeom was sceptical about finding a partner there. Why didn’t he delete the app, then? Why did he start to use it? To make his friends happy? He didn’t think so. At first, maybe to find a reasonable excuse to procrastinate writing an essay he had due the next day, or to entertain himself during the dead night shifts at his part-time job. It didn’t matter anyways. Awkward chats soon led to infinite conversations with _him_ . “You have a crush on _him_ , hyung. He’s making you a teenager...” Youngjae had said, chuckling, before Jaebeom had shushed and hit him. He didn’t have _a crush_ . That wasn’t possible. That wasn’t accepted by the principles of Lim Jaebeom. He just liked to talk to _him_ about anything and everything. _He_ was funny and sarcastic, he shared his love for books and cinema, and he was someone who understood him and provided him great comfort. He was a warm light in his grey days.

“So?” Bambam asked. 

“So, what?” Jaebeom replied. 

“Really, hyung?” Jaebeom pouted and acted as if he didn’t know what he was talking about. Bambam huffed. “When are you going to meet him?”

“We aren’t meeting... We agreed on not wanting anything serious and keeping it this way.”

“So you’re telling me that we had to put up with you being all lovey-dovey with your phone for nothing?” Youngjae replied and stood up. “Are you joking?” 

“I’m not joking! And since when are you so interested in my love life? What are you? Cupid?” 

Jaebeom couldn’t quite remember what happened after that. Suddenly, Youngjae rushed towards him and his phone vanished. When he finally realized what had happened, the younger had already unlocked it, smiling wickedly. ‘Darn it, why did he always end up giving his lock screen code to everyone?’ Jaebeom thought, as he tried desperately to reach the phone. Jaebeom felt chills run down his spine as the younger chuckled sadistically. Most people that met Youngjae only saw his sunshine-like self, but after knowing him for a few years Jaebeom was familiar with his dark side. He could be agreeable and nice, but he could also be a big prankster, master of sarcasm and as blunt as Bambam when he had to say something he disliked about Jaebeom. 

“What are you doing?” Jaebeom could feel his pulse quickening and his breathing pick up, already foreseeing the worst outcome of the situation. Maybe that was karma for lying to his friends about his feelings. But did he himself really know what he felt for _him_ ? He really didn’t. The only thing he was certain about was the anxiety caused by the thought of not being able to talk to _him_. Was he really that attached already? 

“Oh…” Youngjae made an “o” with his lips, surprised, and then chuckled. 

“Wha-Wha-What? What did you do?” Jaebeom rushed over to Youngjae. 

“Well… Looks like I didn’t have to do anything anyways…” Youngjae handed his phone back. “I have to say… Your crush is really kinky… It suits you.” He winked an eye.

With shaking hands, Jaebeom struggled to read the message. To his dismay, the screen had switched off, amplifying his anxiety. When he finally unlocked his phone, he couldn’t believe what he saw.

“What does that mean?”

“Seriously? Don’t you know that place, hyung?” Youngjae asked, receiving a confused look from Jaebeom as a response. “That’s the ‘blind date’ place, a perfect place for people who like to engage with strangers… And probably serial killers.”

Jaebeom sighed. He really didn’t know what to do. Even if that was the natural outcome of the app, he didn’t expect that it would happen so soon. Yes, that was what the app was made for, but… What had he expected? Most people ended up meeting after just a few hours of chatting. It was a matter of time... 

He was okay with staying in the comfort zone that was their virtual bubble of happiness. A little bit of warm attention was enough. 

Was it, though?

Were they just lying to themselves, afraid to take another step forward?

Now it was too late. That was life: taking decisions without being sure about them.

Suddenly, he felt self-conscious. He was good-looking, but he was still afraid of not meeting the other’s expectations. What if their relationship didn’t survive the transition from the virtual to the real world? 

“Cheer up, man,” Bambam put his arm on his shoulders. 

“I’m your hyung.” Jaebeom sent him a death glare. 

“Okay, hyung, whatever…” Bambam rolled his eyes. “You won’t go out wearing **that**.”

It was written all over Bambam’s face. His clothes weren’t fit at all according to his friend’s impression. Jaebeom would have protested, but it didn’t seem to be the best option considering that he was wearing an old, worn and faded tracksuit. He had messy hair and dark circles under his eyes, and he hadn’t even showered yet since it was his free day and wasn't planning on going out. 

He had to agree. Maybe a shower and…

Wait. Did that mean that he was going on a date?

Beside him, Bambam smiled. “So it’s a yes. C’mon, answer that message and tell him that you’ll be there tonight. Now, it’s my magic time! Skrrt, skrrt!” He made a few dabs and then ran to his dresser. Jaebeom couldn’t help but smile just a bit. He seemed to be really excited, but nothing could distract him from how nervous he himself was. 

Suddenly, Youngjae appeared behind him and gave him a couple of supportive taps on his shoulder. “Believe me… you’re going to suffer. You have a few hours before the blind date and Bambam’s going to make you try on a lot of clothes. I pity you,” said Youngjae in a sighed whisper. 

But Jaebeom didn’t seem to hear him, being lost in his own thoughts, Youngjae just rolled his eyes and left him. Meanwhile, Jaebeom was trying to find the right words to answer the message. After lengthy consideration, he decided to keep it simple. 

“ _I’ll be there. See you tonight._ ”

He pressed send and then, his heart skipped a beat and butterflies danced in his stomach. It was real. It was happening. 

Jaebeom could barely protest before Bambam took him to his bedroom with a sadistic smile. On top of the bed, he had laid out a selection of clothes, most of them Jaebeom's but others were from Bambam's private closet. 

"Is that leather?" he asked with a horrified voice.

"Nothing makes a better first impression. I know you're just going to have a blind date and after that you'll decide if you want to see each other face to face, but… We all know how this is going to end, _cute_ Jaebeom," said Bambam, winking at him.

"I'm not cute, I'm sexy," he replied.

"So show us your sexiness, hyung. There are a lot of clothes for you to try on."

They could hear Youngjae's infectious laughter coming from the living room.

Jaebeom gulped. 

***

Jaebeom was the first to arrive, though he didn't know it. From the outside, the place looked just like any other restaurant, with a vintage-style sign displaying its name: _Blindly_. He raised an eyebrow. "How accurate," he whispered. The name was perfect for what was coming, and Bambam and Youngjae had made sure he knew exactly what to expect once he got inside. The images were still fresh in his memory. How many had there been? He couldn't remember, but he was sure that his friends had shown him every single photo they could find.

He clenched his sweaty fists in the pockets of his fitted black jeans and took a deep breath before stepping forward.

As he entered, Jaebeom recognized what he had seen in the pictures and what his friends had told him. There was a small hall, with just another door in front of the entrance, where a woman dressed in a black suit was waiting with a big smile. There weren't any decorations, but the soft turquoise color of the walls was relaxing and welcoming. The woman had a folder filled with papers in her hands and, as soon as she saw him, she bowed her head cordially. 

"May I have your name to check your reservation, sir?" she asked very politely. 

Saying his own name out loud made him feel even more nervous… if that was possible. 

The woman took a look at her papers and wrote something down. Then, she smiled at him again and gestured to the wooden door he had noticed earlier.

"Follow me this way, please. I'll show you your table. Your date will be here anytime soon."

Jaebeom nodded and followed her through the door. When he took a look around him, he got even more nervous, his pulse quickening.

He was behind a translucent curtain. On the other side, the room was filled with tables for two people, most of them occupied, a clear example of the great demand that kind of place was starting to have. He couldn't see their faces well, which meant he wouldn't be able to recognize anybody. There also seemed to be a variety of plants with exquisite aromas that transported you to far-away relaxing spaces. 

"Please, put this on," said the woman. She gave him a blindfold that was completely black. Jaebeom doubted. With that, he wouldn't be able to see anything. She gave him a calming smile. "It's our policy. We cannot allow you inside without that blindfold, and you cannot take it off until the date is over. Our staff members will keep an eye on you during the date and will be the ones to guide you inside and out, so when you want to leave, you can do it alone or with your partner. Both of you will only be allowed to take the blindfold off in this space, behind the curtain, before leaving. If you don't want to leave accompanied, we will make sure the other doesn't see you and waits a reasonable amount of time before letting him or her out. It's for your own safety," she explained. 

Jaebeom swallowed. Sure, he knew it was going to be awkward, but he was starting to feel insecure. However, since he had already committed to the date, he couldn't back down. Anyways, who was he trying to fool? He wanted to meet him. Deep down, he wanted it so badly that he no longer hesitated to put the blindfold on.

The lady led him to their table and helped him sit down. 

"Anytime you want to order something, just raise your hand. If you want to leave, please do the same. Someone will come to take you and we will explain the situation to your date for you if that happens. Would you like something to drink?"

Jaebeom bit his lip and then nodded. "A beer, if possible," he answered.

"In a moment," she said.

He felt like a fish out of water. He rested his hands on the table, entwined his fingers and tried to calm himself down, since his heart was beating like crazy. The sound was deafening, distracting him from even thinking. He took yet another deep breath, wondering how many he had already taken, and waited.

The night was going to be long.

Despite the doubts, the possibility of a positive outcome made him feel excited. It was his date who took the first step and asked him out, so that should have been a good sign… right? At first he even thought it was a sick joke made by his friends, but when he read the message...

_I’ve been thinking that we could meet…_

Jaebeom considered the possibility of that being a joke, that he would end up being humiliated...

_I really want to meet you, hyung._

He couldn’t deny that deep inside he was hoping it was true. He was enjoying the attention, the idea of being taken care of, of being desired...

_I like you._

Of having another chance to be in an actual successful relationship and feeling loved. 

The blindfold felt heavy on his eyes. As he was denied his sense of sight, he started to become aware of all the sounds that surrounded him. The metallic click of the cutlery against the ceramic dishes, the steps of the rushed waiters that were serving exquisite feasts to the hopeful couples, and the chaotic web of conversations that were filling the space. He clasped his hands and noticed the sweat on his skin. 

_A perfect place for people who like to engage with strangers…_

Jaebeom cleared his throat. 

_And probably serial killers._

Jaebeom’s heart jumped whenever he heard steps approaching, wondering if they might belong to the person he was waiting for. How many minutes had passed? His date arriving late couldn’t be a good sign. What if he had changed his mind? If that happened, the waiter would say something, right? He could imagine people looking at him with pity. Overdressed as he was in a restaurant for blind dates, he couldn’t act as he was going there on his own. Bambam had done everything within his power to transform him into the most dainty and tempting present, wrapped in the most exquisite clothes and waiting to be opened. The most delightful dish on the menu. 

_For fucks sake, Jaebeom. Get a grip._

Tensing, he felt pain in his back and straightened his posture. Paranoid as he was, Jaebeom didn’t notice the steps coming closer, nor the sound of the other chair being moved. He didn’t have time to perceive the embarrassing silence that fell between them, or the “if you have an order, just raise your hand”. No. He was too lost in his own thoughts for that. 

He heard his date clearing his throat, as if breaking the ice was too difficult for him. And what if it was? What if _he_ was having the same problems as him?

Jaebeom’s brain stopped working. He was at a loss for words. 

Neither of them realized at that moment, but that was the starting point of a chain of events that would change their lives.

Forever.

His date’s breathing was shaking.

“Jaebeom?”

***

“I don’t know why you’re sulking…”

Jinyoung leaned his head on the window, pouting and ignoring the other intentionally. He looked away from the driver, observing how the sparkling city lights blurred as the car moved quickly through avenues and streets. He was in a lose-lose situation and it was now too late to retreat. Everything was ruined because of him. How could he not be bitter about it?

“Now you aren’t talking to me? After everything I’ve done for you...!”

Jinyoung bounced his leg and bit his inner cheek.

“After putting up with your disgusting courtship for so long! I thought that you’d end up making out with your phone!”

He stopped looking out the window and shot a death glare at the driver. It was as if “Shut up, Jackson” was stamped all over his face. However, Jackson wasn’t the kind of person that gave up easily. Their friendship had always been like that: Jackson was a warm fire trying to melt his ice. Jinyoung hadn’t always been like that, though. He wouldn’t consider himself an extrovert like Jackson, but there had been a time when that unbreakable wall didn’t surround his heart. He had been brighter, and more innocent. Something had changed along the way. It was as if he had forgotten how to feel.

It was complicated. 

Maybe he was just out of practice. 

Maybe he was scared because these past weeks he had started to feel his wall cracking.

“At least you’re listening.” Jackson shrugged and smiled, his warm chocolate eyes shining in triumph. 

Jinyoung sighed and looked away again. The neon lights of the overcrowded streets reflected against the windows. As the car passed through slowly, he observed the crowd as if he was watching a movie. Suddenly, the figure of a young man walking in front of the car caught his eye. Time stopped, the scene moving in slow motion. The stranger was wearing fitted black jeans and a dark velvet jacket with glistening gold and silver details. Underneath the jacket, Jinyoung caught a glimpse of what seemed to be a black shirt, notably unbuttoned to the chest, showing the glint of a necklace. Even though his long locks covered part of his face, he could tell he was undeniably handsome. That style and that aura… 

He was a whole meal. 

_I hope that is my date._

“Didn’t you say that what you liked the most about him was his personality?” he asked himself internally. Well, it was true that before the app he was in some kind of a slump. _Una mala racha_ . It wasn’t even that he had bad luck. Truth was, he had reached a point where he wasn’t even looking for a relationship. He was only looking for the physical, the pleasure without attachment. If there were such a thing as a fast food chain for one-night stands, that would be it. A brief moment of satisfaction to forget. A _trostpflaster_.

He didn’t even need an app to date. It was Jackson who had pushed him to try it because he thought he needed a change, that he should give it a try because it would be fun. He signed up to please him, “to avoid further bickering so I can study in peace”. 

He didn’t expect to get so attached to _him_. 

That was an unsettling feeling.

A Pandora’s box he wasn’t sure if he wanted to open. 

As it was just an app, he didn’t take it too seriously. It was like one of those _otome games_ Yugyeom was once addicted to. _It wasn’t real. He_ was just an NPC to talk to. An AI that shared his same interests and gave him attention.

And he was really enjoying it. Even if he wouldn’t ever tell Jackson. He was too proud for that. 

"We're almost there," Jackson said, bringing him back to reality, parking the car a few meters away from the place Jinyoung was heading to. He took a deep breath and stared at his friend in the rearview mirror. "Are you okay? You look preoccupied."

"Don't worry. I'm fine," he answered. He knew Jackson was worried. Despite all the jokes and his seemingly incessant happiness, Jackson was still good-hearted and cared a lot for those he loved. Jinyoung just happened to be in his path at the right time. Even though it had been tough at the beginning, he was now his only family and Jinyoung was thankful for his constant, unconditional support. 

"I know the app was my idea, but if you feel uncomfortable, get out of there and give me a call. Wang Gae, Park Gae," Jackson said smiling and winking an eye at him. 

"Sure," he said. Jinyoung gave him a little smile and then got out of the car. 

"Be good to your date!"

After those words, the car left and Jinyoung looked at the sign across the road. _Blindly_. Jackson had been the one that had sent Jaebeom the message and had arranged the date, but Jinyoung had chosen that place specifically because of its conditions. Some people might think it was dangerous, but in the world they lived, spaces like that were necessary. Everything came back to the Internet, to social media, so meeting somebody without knowing him or her in person beforehand was a risk that a lot of people took carelessly. In this place, at least, you had protection, if needed, and you could leave being sure that nobody was going to follow you home. They were very strict about that policy.

In addition, it was a place where you could focus on personality, not just physical appearance. Since you were obligated to wear a blindfold, all of your other senses were heightened to unveil the secrets beneath the voice of your date. You could feel everything.

Not that Jinyoung needed it, anyway… but he really wanted to know if the person he had been talking to was real. If he was as interesting and appealing as he seemed. Not many people shared his love for literature, music, culture or languages to begin with, but _he_ had surprised him with his depth of knowledge about those things. If he was really like that, and not just adept with Google, well, he was really someone pleasant to meet. 

Jinyoung was lost in his thoughts when something, or rather someone, caught his eye. He raised his eyebrow in interest: the guy he had seen before had stopped right in front of _Blindly_. Was he having a date there, too? At the same exact hour as him? Was it possible that he was his date?

Was he being lucky enough for once after all?

Jinyoung took a closer look at him this time, admiring his perfect curves and the way his tastefully chosen clothes fit him so flawlessly. He felt the urge to bite his lip, but he pulled himself together. 

It could be a coincidence. 

When the man in velvet-leather entered, he approached the restaurant. Luckily, his enhanced senses allowed him to listen through the closed door. A lady was asking for his name, since the information was needed to verify the reservation. Without even realizing it, Jinyoung had stepped closer to the door, trying to process his words.

 _Lim Jaebeom_.

No… It couldn't be...

It was him.

If Jinyoung wasn't as calm and in control of his emotions, he would be hyperventilating at that moment. Sure, he had thought that it would be awesome if the velvet-leather guy was his date, but how in the world could that be true in a large city like theirs? Saying it was a coincidence was too much… but sometimes it happened.

And this time, it happened to him.

He really wanted it all to be true, not a nightmare. 

He was tired of losing the things that mattered to him.

But there was something bothering him. Jinyoung felt a heavy pressure in his heart and didn't know where it came from. What was this strange feeling, as if he was missing something important?

It was as if that guy reminded him of something long forgotten. 

Jinyoung shook his head to avoid those odd thoughts and took a deep breath, closing his eyes. When he opened them again, he was completely relaxed and focused on what laid ahead. 

Or so he thought.

He entered the building with a small smile on his lips, finding himself in a hall painted turquoise. It had been just two minutes since Jaebeom had gone inside, but it had like hours and Jinyoung was feeling anxious. The same lady that had talked to his date, dressed in a black suit, asked for his name and he tilted his head slightly to the right.

"Park Jinyoung," he said.

"Oh, your date is already here. Please, come this way."

She opened the other wooden door and Jinyoung followed her. There was a translucent curtain that separated the space they were in from the actual dining room, which was filled with laughter, chit chat and the sound of glasses. Despite the curtain meant to hide what was happening on the other side, his eyes had no trouble seeing the figures of the people sitting at their tables. In the distance, thanks to his good sight and a force that seemed to direct him towards, he saw him. His date was waiting with his blindfold on and her hands entwined on the table. He had taken off his jacket and only the silky, black shirt remained, with its sleeves rolled up. It was almost impossible to forget his features, his body or his posture. He was one of a kind. 

_Thank you to my senses for letting me see this..._

“Sir?” 

Jinyoung had almost forgotten where he was when the woman drew his attention to the blindfold she was holding. How in the world could he lose himself looking at that guy? It was as if he had never been with someone. He turned towards the lady and offered her a sincere and apologetic smile.

“Please, put this on…” 

She told him about their policy, their conditions and the final options he would have to choose between. However, Jinyoung wasn’t listening at all. He knew the rules, but the thing he wanted the most was to meet _Lim Jaebeom_.

He didn’t care about his own looks. He no longer cared about the worries he'd had before coming to the place. 

He just wanted to listen to his voice once again, this time actually talking to him… he wanted to figure out why his heart was feeling as if it was falling to pieces. 

Jinyoung put on the blindfold and everything went black. Someone guided him to the table while he, on the inside, started to feel more and more anxious. Many different aromas filled his nose as he tried to distinguish _his_ scent. 

The guide stopped and moved the chair so he could sit down. Jinyoung recognized the smell of the velvet, of the leather…

 _He_ was there.

"If you have an order, just raise your hand," said the guide before leaving. 

And then, the two of them were left alone.

Since his date seemed to be very nervous, Jinyoung decided to take the first step. After all, they were there because of him, he was the one who had wanted to meet. However, he suddenly found it difficult to breathe. He opened his mouth to say something, but the words didn't come out. 

_What the fuck, Jinyoung…_

He cleared his throat and, this time, he was finally able to talk. 

"Jaebeom?" he said. He almost regretted it, realizing his voice was trembling.

He was sure Jaebeom had noticed that too.

But Jaebeom was only startled, taken out of his internal monologue. He felt his heavy limbs stuck in the seat, frozen by fear and anxiety.

Jinyoung heard him swallowing nervously and he could only imagine how cute he must look. An almost vulnerable and innocent vibe in contrast with his cool and sexy aura. A mix of contrasting flavors that, like some delightful dishes, blend in a harmonic symphony. 

Jaebeom sighed, a trembling string of air fighting to pass through his contracted muscles. He felt his heart beating faster, fighting to escape from his chest.

 _It's now or never_. 

“Jinyoung?” 

_Amazing, Jaebeom. Couldn’t you come up with anything better? Are you a broken record?_

Jaebeom chuckled nervously, trying to release some tension. 

Tension thick enough to slice.

At that moment, Jinyoung felt an uncanny sensation taking over his body. A familiar itch under his skin he was unable to scratch. 

_That voice…_

That sensation of forgetting to switch something off after locking the door and leaving your house. A word on the tip of his tongue. A glance at a long forgotten memory. 

Like the light from the geometrical lamp hanging over their table, silence fell upon them, creating a tense atmosphere. It reminded Jinyoung of his first conversations with Jaebeom—if the awkward exchange of monosyllabic words and disconnected sentences could be categorized as that. Jinyoung didn’t know what happened to him. He wasn’t new to the love game. This wasn’t too different from the times he went clubbing with Jackson and Yugyeom. 

Nothing transcendental. 

Nothing serious. 

However, he sensed a different feeling when he talked to Jaebeom. The so-called ‘magnetic pull’ that so many writers have told of in their stories about star-crossed lovers. 

Jinyoung really wanted this date to be successful, especially if his senses hadn’t played a trick on him and Jaebeom was the handsome stranger he saw earlier. He needed to start the gears of conversation. 

Jinyoung took the lead and raised his hand to make the order. Jaebeom was grateful for Jinyoung making the first move. The ice was starting to melt, or at least that was what he hoped. 

“Do you remember our first conversations in the app?” Jinyoung asked. 

The stream of words just didn’t flow, both in the past and the present. Jaebeom couldn’t quite recall the moment when their chemistry shifted, when they broke the wall between them and small droplets of words became a stream of conversations. It was the kind of unnoticeable change that simply happened. 

He could clearly remember the tension of the first days, though. A rubber band stretched taught. 

Just like that very moment, face to face without seeing each other directly... But it was something they could surely overcome in time, as they had done before.

“I remember when you ruined my attempt of starting an actual conversation,” Jaebeom said.

“Do you really use _Game of Thrones_ to flirt?” 

Jaebeom could sense a smile growing in his voice. Just like him. 

“Everyone has watched at least one episode in their life.”

“I’m not everyone, then.” Jinyoung half smiled. “I also did my deed. It’s not my fault that you haven’t read much about Shakespeare or Fitzgerald.”

“You really sound like an old man sometimes.”

“An old man with really good taste in literature, in a really hot body.”

Jaebeom smiled. 

“I have to admit, you really have good taste in Japanese literature, though. When you said that you were a Murakami fan and that you didn’t do it to act cool… That was sexy,” Jinyoung added.

Jaebeom was grateful that that was a blind date. Otherwise, Jinyoung would have seen that he was blushing terribly. Being praised felt so good.

The initial tension led to a conversation that flowed naturally, like the ones they were having recently. The delightful dishes almost forgotten, they moved swiftly from one topic to the other: Jaebeom’s anecdotes from work and university, Jinyoung’s chaotic life with his housemates and friends, the last books they’d read, the last films or TV series they’d watched. A pleasing exchange of opinions and stories. 

It had been so long since Jaebeom had clicked so easily with another person. It was as if Jinyoung was the missing piece of a puzzle, or a spark that started a fire that made him feel at home. 

Jinyoung asked for the bill, and Jaebeom couldn’t stop himself from thinking out loud. 

“You know? Earlier, I was afraid to meet you. Not because I didn’t want it, of course.” Bless the blindfolds so Jinyoung couldn’t see how embarrassed he was. “I feel so good talking to you. It’s like… Having a best friend. But it’s different at the same time. Sometimes it’s as if…”

 **“... I’ve met you before,”** they said in unison, their voices melting in harmony. 

Jinyoung was shaken to the core. Once again, he felt that itch under his skin. A phantom pain of something that had been cut from him a long time ago. What was it? Why did he feel like that? Why did he feel so scared out of sudden? 

Silence fell around them after that unsettling moment. It was as if their souls were all of a sudden in sync. Jaebeom was spooked, but at the same time he was excited, because he had never felt anything like that. It was an anomaly, something different in his dull life. Something to be curious about.

Both of them needed to know where this road would take them. And Jinyoung, still afraid of something he couldn't recall, was the first to talk.

"I think we should get going… together."

He didn't know where he had found the courage to say that, but he didn't regret it. There were much fewer people at _Blindly_ now, much less chit chat in the room. The time had passed in a blink of an eye and he knew that this was the correct choice.

He hoped Jaebeom would think the same.

"I think… that's a really good idea. Almost everyone has left," Jaebeom answered, with a little smile. 

The rest happened so quickly they didn't have the time to process it. Suddenly, they were on the other side of the curtain, taking their blindfolds off. The lady from before gave them a lovely smile when they paid the bill and wished them good luck.

And then they were in front of the place. The night wasn't cold at all, or maybe they were the ones who were feeling excessively warm. 

They looked at each other for a while without distractions, as if time had stopped at that moment, just for them to be together. 

As if it was destiny.

Jaebeom felt his heart beating out of control.

Jinyoung forgot about the fear and felt his emotions overwhelm him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> did you like it? comments and feedback are always really appreciated ♡


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi there! here we are with the second chapter and we hope you're enjoying our story so far! thanks again, lore and varichina, for helping and supporting us ❤ and if you're reading this, thanks to you too for joining this crazy adventure 🤯

Jaebeom woke up to the sound of his alarm clock. He knew he had set the time right, but now it seemed too early. Half past six in the morning… Why in hell had he thought that would be a good idea? He was debating sleeping a bit more when he finally remembered.

_Library. Go to the library._

"No…" he moaned.

But it was a yes. He didn't have many days left until his presentation date, and his paper was far from being finished. He needed some books and hours of research and then he had to clear his thoughts and try to write an impressive piece of work. 

Well… clear his thoughts as much as he _could_. 

For the past few days, it had been impossible for him to take his eyes away from his phone. No matter how many times he tried to focus on doing other things, that memory was still engraved in his brain. Haunting him like an afterthought. 

Jaebeom remembered how his knees almost gave up, his legs turning into jelly as the moment they took their blindfolds off approached. Then, in the blink of an eye, they were leaving the dining room and entering the special space behind the curtain. “You can take your blindfolds off,” the waitress had said, putting an end to the date and opening the door to uncertainty. Then, she politely thanked them for coming to the restaurant, and hoped that they enjoyed their dinner. To be honest, at that moment he wasn’t able to remember any of the dishes from the menu. They had been completely overshadowed by his date’s voice and the conversations they’d shared. He put his hands on the blindfold, feeling the skin wet with sweat. He gulped and took it off with trembling fingers. Jaebeom blinked, his eyes refocusing after being covered for so long. 

However, everything had happened so quickly right then, with the payment and the good manners of the employees of _Blindly_ as they were bidding farewell, that they didn't have the time to look at each other. It was a few seconds later, after leaving the restaurant, that they were finally able to be face to face. 

To lose themselves into each other's eyes.

But nothing could have prepared Jaebeom for that moment. 

Jinyoung was nothing like he had expected. 

The first word that came into his mind was breathtaking. Jinyoung was breathtaking. While they were using the app, the focus was on the conversation, on meeting each other. Neither of them asked for selfies, maybe because both of them were afraid, or because it had been overshadowed by the rest of the things that were going on. 

Jinyoung had the aura of an actor: handsome but, above all, charismatic. He was fit, his body sculpted to perfection. However, in that brief moment, Jaebeom’s focus was somewhere else. He was completely hypnotized by his face: his dark comma hair, his plump lips, and, above all, his vivid chocolate eyes. 

Once again, he was frozen. 

Surprise covered Jinyoung’s face. What was it? Did he not meet his expectations? Jaebeom started to feel self conscious about his looks again… but he couldn't stop staring at Jinyoung's perfection. 

The way his hair framed his face, casual and elegant, was absolutely stunning. Its color was chocolate, as warm as his eyes, and he felt the need to run his fingers through it as he caressed his lips with the other hand.

Jinyoung wore a white shirt tucked into black pants that seemed to be made just for him, and his jacket, also black matching his pants, hung in his right hand. The shirt, the only contrast to the dark ensemble, had just two buttons undone but it was enough to thrill anybody despite the so innocent appearance he had. No one else would have been capable of wearing those clothes in such a cool and stylish way. In addition, there was this captivating sensation of knowing that, if Jaebeom wanted to put his arm around Jinyoung's waist, it would fit perfectly.

As if they were literally made for each other…

As if he already knew his whole body, heart and soul.

Jaebeom shivered.

_He must be having a dream. A delicious one._

Jinyoung was also looking at Jaebeom as if there was nothing else in the world. Seeing him before, from the car and through the curtain, was nothing compared to what he was experiencing at that moment. Jaebeom was handsome in a way that could drive you insane. His small, dark eyes shone with something magical, and there were those cute two moles over his left eye. He had thin lips that could bloom into a beautiful and charming smile, or at least that was what he imagined. 

And his clothes.

There was a strange perfection in how he had dressed. Jinyoung had thought about the conversations they'd had and how Jaebeom would be in real life, and those clothes fit that image too well. He didn't know why he was so surprised, but he couldn't look away. The dark velvet jacket was still in Jaebeom's hand, and only the silky, black shirt remained, sleeves rolled and collar unbuttoned almost to the chest, showing a golden necklace with a palm tree pendant. Beneath, the fitted black jeans. He could be a singer, a dancer, a star… whatever he wanted.

He was made to sin.

Trying to come back to earth, Jaebeom cleared his throat and thought about what to do next. Asking for a second date? Would it be too much? 

"I liked it… I mean, the date…" 

But as soon as he finished that sentence, he realized something was wrong. Jinyoung's face had changed from admiration and interest to apprehension and fear. His eyes had a strange, incomprehensible aura. Had he, Jaebeom, done something wrong? He couldn't remember what… Maybe something had scared him. He made sure he was wearing the correct pair of socks, and the same shoes. 

Jinyoung must have disliked something he'd said. Maybe he hadn't enjoyed the date...

His mind was full of thoughts rushing more and more when Jinyoung took a deep breath and finally talked to him.

"I, uh, had a great time… But I have to go. See you soon."

And in the blink of an eye, what seemed so perfect just fell apart. Jaebeom watched as a hesitant Jinyoung turned around and quickly walked away. He wasn't able to shout his name, unsure if he could handle Jinyoung not looking back.

That was the main reason for his inability to concentrate. Jinyoung hadn't written a single message since the date, and neither had he despite wanting to ask for an explanation. Something he could at least understand. He could handle not being his type, but after how he had looked at him…

Well, now he had to focus on getting dressed and going to the library before it was too late to find an empty spot.

***

When Jaebeom finally arrived at the library, there were still plenty of empty seats. He smiled a bit since he'd made it in time to take his favorite table, the one that was farther from the door and slightly hidden by some shelves. That way, nobody would distract him, and the books he needed were just a few shelves away so he wouldn’t need to go far to get them. 

The library was a treasure he'd always cherished. It wasn't just a silent place, it was also a shelter when he felt overwhelmed and needed some time on his own. He liked to sit there reading books and looking through the window, especially when it was raining and everything seemed magical. The rain slid down the panes, and he would get caught in the rhythm, the movement of the little drops and the paths they left behind. 

However, he hadn't been there in a while, not that he could blame himself. He had been busy with stuff… Well, that was what he told himself in order to feel better. So, to make up for the time he'd been away, he lost himself in admiring the library’s beauty when he finally sat by his table. 

He took his time looking around. While most of the building had a more minimalistic and modern image, some parts hadn’t gone through the process of reformation. With the warm light that fell from the classic pendant lamps on the ceiling, and the walls that were made of big old bookshelves, Jaebeom felt as if he was in the Great Hall of Hogwarts. It felt magical.

With a sigh, Jaebeom pressed the power button on his computer and waited until he could load the document he was working on. He took a look at his last notes, then read the titles of the books he needed and wrote then in a piece of paper. 

“Let’s get this done,” he said, standing up.

He approached the literature shelves and started to look for the books he needed. However, there was one that couldn’t be found anywhere. There was only one copy in the whole library, and it wasn't listed as on loan in the computer record, so he would need to ask for it at the room’s entry, where the supervisors were working. Without hesitating, because he didn’t have the time for that, he took two of the books and then walked towards the reception desk. 

“Excuse me,” he said to the guy at the desk, who had his back turned to him. “Could you help me with this book?”

“Of course,” he replied. 

A lot of things happened in just a brief moment, and Jaebeom wasn’t sure how to react. 

First, when the guy turned around to look at him, his mouth opened out of his control. 

Second, his heart started to beat rapidly. 

Third, his voice cracked while pronouncing _his_ name.

“Jinyoung?”

Jinyoung would have recognized Jaebeom’s voice anywhere, but he wasn’t expecting to see him there. At least not at that moment, when he hadn’t made up his mind yet. His melodic voice felt like a sweet summer breeze, melting his whole body and soul, and he couldn’t do anything but stare at him, speechless. Jaebeom seemed tired, but his eyes still showed little sparks of light…

_Those little sparks. So bright._

That had been the main reason he had run away. As soon as he’d looked into Jaebeom’s eyes, he’d felt something strange, something deeper than anything he had felt in the past few years. His heart had been pressed by an unnatural urge, as if his very core wanted to call Jaebeom in. But the thing that had scared him the most was that he was unable to explain that intense feeling. The only thing he knew for sure was that he was afraid of it. 

“Why?” was the question, but there was no answer. 

When he looked at Jaebeom again, all those feelings came back in an overwhelming wave of sensations. And there was one that stood out the most: he had missed him. But why? They’d only been together for a few hours. That was impossible. 

He needed to clarify what was that all about. 

“Jaebeom…” His name came out in a husky voice, and he coughed to soften it. “How are you?”

Jaebeom felt a stab of annoyance. Why hadn’t Jinyoung asked that before? Why hadn’t he messaged him? What was the reason for his silence? Why did Jinyoung feel hesitant? Especially when everything felt so right.

“Maybe I should ask you that.” Jaebeom’s voice cracked at the end of the sentence and Jinyoung opened his eyes, surprised. 

“What?”

“I don’t understand… Why did you leave? Why didn’t you talk to me?” The words slipped off his tongue before he could stop himself. This wasn’t the time or place, but his sentiments and, above all, his frustration got the best of him. He needed to know. He deserved to know. Otherwise he would have to live in doubt about what would have happened if he handled things differently. 

“It’s…” Jinyoung looked down, as if the mere eye contact unsettled him. “It’s complicated, Jaebeom.”

“What’s complicated about this? The date was perfect. So perfect that I thought that it might lead to something more... Was it me?”

“It’s not any of that-”

“What is it, then?”

“You wouldn’t understand.”

Jaebeom wasn’t just upset, he was confused. He was an undiluted mix of contradictory feelings. Why was the reason for that silence so complicated that Jinyoung couldn’t explain it to him? Why did his eyes hold a glint of fright, even at that moment? 

Jaebeom felt pressure in his chest. Why was he so anxious all of a sudden? Maybe he was losing his mind, but at that moment he could understand Jinyoung’s apprehension. He may have been afraid of what was to come. 

_Or maybe of repeating a painful memory._

_Or a past mistake._

There was a certain itch under the skin of his thumb. A ghostly scarlet glint of a long forgotten fingerprint.

… An ancient connection, maybe?

Yes, he was definitely losing his mind.

“Excuse me.” A voice coming from behind Jaebeom cracked the tension that surrounded them. Jaebeom looked around to a petite woman who was almost hidden by a tall column of books. “That seemed like an important conversation, but I really want to borrow these books.”

“Yes, of course. Give me a second, please. I’ll look for a book for him and then I’ll help you,” Jinyoung said, almost relieved that the conversation and tense situation had ended. 

It would come back for sure. 

***

“None of this would be happening if we didn’t procrastinate until the day before the deadline,” Yoo Youngjae said, annoyed. “Or should I say… The night before the deadline.”

“I was busy…” Jaebeom was barely looking at the other, too focused on typing. 

“Busy being lovesick…” Choi Youngjae said. 

It was a few weeks after that encounter, and Jaebeom had met his classmate Yoo Youngjae at the library to finally get another essay and presentation done. While it was true that he should have met his classmate earlier, he hadn’t been able to make himself do it. Even though both Jaebeom and Yoo Youngjae knew each other well, as they had been classmates and friends since the very first year of uni, they both had part-time jobs and it was difficult for them to coordinate their schedules. That wasn’t the only reason, though. Both of them worked through spurts of energy that appeared after long periods of procrastination. In the end, they always managed to finish their projects on time at the last minute, thanks to their miraculous concentration and analysis skills. 

Until that moment, Jaebeom and Yoo Youngjae had been in the zone, analyzing texts and typing as if possessed. But then, Choi Youngjae, coming from his cardiology lesson marathon, joined them. Between practice at the hospital and his nursing degree’s hellish schedule, Jaebeom barely saw Choi Youngjae, and he was glad for any little moment he could be with his best friend. That relief didn’t last long though, as he knew his classmate and his childhood friend would tease him after that comment.

“I’m not… lovesick. I was just busy with my job and studying…” Jaebeom stopped typing and acted as if he was looking for a book. Many days had passed since the last time he’d seen Jinyoung at the library, and despite keeping an eye out for him, he hadn’t seen him again. And maybe that was for the best. He was almost starting to forget…

_Yeah. Sure. Almost._

“Yeah, right… As if you haven’t been moping since your date…” Choi Youngjae rolled his eyes.

“Date? Oh! Looks like I’ve missed a lot!” Yoo Youngjae smiled devilishly. “What’s the tea?”

“There’s no “tea”, alright?” Jaebeom sighed, he was feeling already on edge as he couldn’t find the book he needed, and he knew he wouldn’t be able to dodge Yoo Youngjae’s interrogation for long.

“We suggested he use a dating app because he had returned to his mopey, grumpy self after his last girlfriend dumped him-” Choi Youngjae started saying. 

“I didn’t get d-”

“Shhhh…” Yoo Youngjae put a finger on Jaebeom’s lips to shut him up. “So you recommended he use Tinder?”

“It’s not Tinder, exactly. It’s a beta dating app that connects students from this university. He got a match and then… It was unbearable! We thought that he was going to make out with his phone! He was chatting with this mysterious person 24/7 and he was… He was so lovey-dovey. It was so gross!”

“I get the picture...!” Jaebeom tried to interject, but both Youngjaes shushed him. 

“We were going to push him to set up a date, but Romeo asked him first.”

“So? Why is he in such a sour mood now?” Yoo Youngae asked.

“Basically, he got dumped. Again.”

“You got dumped twice? In less than six months? What happened to the chic and sexy Lim Jaebeom?” Yoo Youngjae looked at him, surprised. “What a shame! People these days don’t have taste…” He looked at him with pity. He and his friends sometimes used jokes and sarcasm to address a serious matter, to play down its importance. Thus, he knew that deep down, Yoo Youngjae cared. It was his way of telling him that it wasn’t that important. That “there are plenty more fish in the sea” when no words of comfort could change the way Jaebeom felt.

But Jaebeom was proud and he wouldn’t let him have the upper hand.

“I didn’t get dumped!” Jaebeom complained. “We just didn’t talk anymore after the date.”

“You forgot the part in which he ran away after the date,” Choi Youngjae added. 

“In my dictionary, that means being dum-”

 _“Attention, please. The library will close in fifteen minutes.”_ The librarian’s voice sounded through the loudspeakers, interrupting their conversation. Choi Youngjae worried about going too far with the teasing. In their small group of friends they were all used to joking and teasing each other, but he also knew that Jaebeom’s skin wasn’t as thick as he made it seem. He had a sensitive heart and sometimes all that stuff hurt him. 

“I’m sorry,” Choi Youngjae put a hand on his shoulder. “You deserve someone better than him. And in the meantime, we’re here for you. I’m sorry if we went overboard with the teasing.”

“Guys…” Yoo Youngjae interrupted Jaebeom, who was about to reply to his roommate and childhood friend. “Isn’t he THE Jackson Wang?”

Jaebeom turned around and looked in the same direction as Yoo Youngjae. His heart clenched at the view. Brilliant, amazing and beaming were the first words that came to his mind. 

Jackson Wang, the incomparable Jackson Wang, was anything but ordinary. Everyone on campus knew him, not just because of his family money, but also because of his humble and hard working spirit. He’d always given his all to achieve what he wanted and he was recognized for it. And he had incredible fashion sense.

Everyone knew Jackson and, above all, everyone knew about his parties. He was THE master of frat parties, the most popular parties all around campus. He was the perfect host, and most students wanted to go to one of his parties at least once in their lives.

And that outstanding person was approaching them, waving at almost everyone in the library as he walked by. 

“Is he coming to us?” Choi Youngjae asked in a really, really low voice. 

“I think he is…” Yoo Youngjae answered. 

Jaebeom couldn’t tear his eyes away from Jackson Wang, dressed in black jeans and a garnet shirt. He was almost at their side. 

When Jackson leaned on the table, just in front of them, the three of them held their breath. 

“Hi, guys! I’m Jackson. A friend of mine is interested in you,” he said, pointing his finger at Jaebeom, and then continuing. “So, I hope you all come to my party tomorrow night. Something casual, don’t worry about it. Just be there so we can make the miracle of love happen.” He winked an eye and took the notebook Jaebeom had been using to write something really quick. “Here’s the address. Bring yourselves, and your friends, of course, and I’ll bring the party!”

And with those words, he just left. 

They looked at the address. Yoo Youngjae smiled. 

“Well… I think we have plans for tomorrow. Can’t wait to see how this turns out.”

Jaebeom gulped. What the hell had just happened?

***

_The air felt light and the voice was so soft, his breath caressing his skin…_

_Then, a smile. The most beautiful smile he'd ever seen._

_He couldn't see the face, but it didn't matter. That smile was everything. It was the whole world._

_"I love you."_

_A bit closer, just a bit…_

_But suddenly, another enraged voice._

_"Kill that bastard!"_

_And someone trying to help, despite how difficult it was to stay alive like that in a world full of sharpness._

***

“Ah-choo!” Jinyoung sneezed and rubbed his nose. He wasn’t in the best mood to begin with, because of Jackson’s divine intervention, and now he was coming down with a cold. Fucking perfect. 

“Bless you!” Jackson turned around, looking at Jinyoung in confusion. “Since when do you get sick?”

“Ha! Really funny!” Jinyoung replied nasally, thanks to his stuffy nose. “Do you have a tissue?”

“We haven’t bought tissues in ages…” Jackson scratched the back of his head and smiled at him sheepishly. Then he went to the bathroom and came back with a towel. “This could work.” He winked and Jinyoung rolled his eyes. 

Jinyoung just went on ignoring him. “It’s what he deserves,” he thought. Who asked Jackson to stick his nose into other people’s business? Jackson was more than his best friend; he considered him his brother. He couldn’t stand his obsession with fixing the world, though. 

There were things that couldn’t be fixed. 

“You shouldn’t have done that,” Jinyoung rubbed his nose with the towel, feeling his runny nose as if he was suffering from rhinitis. He must have been cursed, that must be it. He never even suffered from allergies, and at that moment, when he was about to go out, he had to feel like this? Worst luck ever.

“What?”

“You know what. Your nosy behavior, as always.”

Jinyoung liked routine. That was one of the reasons why he was so at ease in his job. And being surrounded by books. The library had always been not only a boundless source of knowledge, but also his own bubble that insulated him from the rest of the world. 

But that bubble burst when an intruder came in. 

Jinyoung didn’t know that he would meet Jaebeom there. He should have, considering Jaebeom was as much as a bookworm as him. But he hadn’t thought of it. 

Ever since he had had that argument with him, he had tried to busy himself with organizing the books over and over again, even though it was his least favorite task. He had hid himself to prevent another encounter, while hoping for another chance to talk to him at the same time. He avoided looking at the phone, while deep inside he was waiting for Jaebeom to talk to him. 

“I’ve just given it a little push,” Jackson shrugged.

“I didn’t need any push, Jackson.” Jinyoung took his current white shirt off and sighed, calling Jackson’s attention. To make things worse, he felt his runny nose start dripping again, and he had to use the towel to stop his nose from leaking. 

He didn’t expect Jackson to come to the library on that fateful day. His best friend was normally too busy socializing with his classmates or enjoying campus life to its fullest. He needed to connect with people, know about their lives, listen to their problems and stories. He was fascinated by people. He loved humanity. He was more of a social being than Jinyoung could have ever been. 

He did need those ‘little pushes’. But he was too proud for that.

He needed him. 

When Jackson entered the library, all eyes were on him. He was one of the most popular students on campus. Everyone had heard Jackson’s name at least once, even if they hadn’t seen his face. 

Kind hearted Jackson. 

Funny Jackson. 

Frat party king Jackson. 

Dear Lord, how he hated that last one.

Jinyoung felt that no one really knew Jackson. He respected that his best friend enjoyed human interaction that much, but Jinyoung only saw the shallowness of it all. Jackson was more than any of those tags. He was more than a label that fit outward image. 

Not that it mattered, though.

Jinyoung knew he couldn’t hide from Jackson, even if he wanted to. Even when he was talking to Jackson, he couldn’t avoid looking at Jaebeom from a distance. And that was his death sentence. His best friend realized and asked him, and he couldn’t deny that that handsome guy from the distance had been his date.

“What were you going to do? Avoid him for life?” Jackson asked. 

“It was working fine for me…” Jinyoung continued to look for a good outfit for that night. Their dressing room was a mess. Normally their clothes were neatly organized in different sections‒all Jackson and Yugyeom’s doing, as he was too much of a messy person for that. He sat on the grey puff that fit the minimalist decoration of that space. He sighed. 

“It wasn’t for me! Do you know how hard it was for Yugyeom and me to put up with your moping? And you didn’t even explain to us what was happening, or why you even ran away from your date.” 

“I’ve already told you…” Jinyoung looked at his black slacks, unsure if they were appropriate for the party. He could see Yugyeom teasing him for dressing like an old man. “It’s complicated, Jackson… I can’t explain it without sounding crazy.”

“Try me,” Jackson said, and looked at him with empathy. That was one of the reasons why people always liked Jackson. It wasn’t just because he was funny, or good at throwing parties. He wasn’t just a good storyteller, he was a good listener too.

“It’s like… When I saw him and I heard his voice...” Jinyoung closed his eyes as he tried to recall those mixed feelings. Excitement, but also eeriness. “I felt like I already knew him. As if everything felt right. But also as if something was missing.” He opened his eyes and saw Jackson smiling. 

“I think that’s a poetic way to say that you really need to get laid.” Jackson winked an eye.

“Ah-choo!” Jinyoung’s reply was silenced by his sneeze. “Jackson!”

“You can say whatever you want, but you know I’m right.” Jackson continued and looked to Jinyoung’s side of the dressing room. “And you also know that I won’t allow you to go out in that outfit.”

Jinyoung sighed once more, and couldn't help but nod. However, inside his heart, he still had that strange feeling that he was missing something important.

***

Jaebeom wasn't sure about going to the party, but he needed to give it a try. Bambam, even though he didn't seem as happy as he should have, had spent the whole afternoon looking for the perfect outfits for them all. His mood brightened as he was picking out clothes and making his friends try them on. if Yoo Youngjae had lived with them, he too would have suffered while trying on at least a million clothes.

It also didn't matter that Jaebeom seemed to be sick. He'd spent most of the day squeezing and rubbing his nose, but there was nothing Bambam couldn't solve with his magical home remedies. He'd gone to the kitchen to prepare some family recipe to cure the cold and, after a while, he came back with a glass full of something that tasted like hell.

The good news was that it was truly effective. After a few hours, Jaebeom was starting to feel better. His voice was still a bit nasally, but at least he didn't have to live with a tissue stuffed in his nose. 

"I can't believe it…” Bambam whispered. He’d been too quiet the whole afternoon, something strange talking about him and a party. 

"Thank Jaebeom. A friend of Jackson seems to be interested in him," Youngjae replied. 

"I want to try karaoke. They say Jackson is truly a master when it comes to music!" Yoo Youngjae looked at them with his eyes sparkling like stars after they picked him up.

Well, at least some of them were excited. Jaebeom, on the other hand, was becoming increasingly nervous as they got closer to the place of the party. He wanted to know who was interested in him… He'd never seen Jinyoung with Jackson and he couldn't think about anyone else. He hadn't been paying much attention to his surroundings lately, after all, so he had no idea who could have set their eyes on him.

"We're here," Bambam said, pointing to the entry of the party room.

Jackson Wang was outside in front of the door, greeting the guests. As they approached his side, he turned to look at them and many things happened at once. 

First Jackson greeted them with a really big, friendly smile. Both Yoo and Choi Youngjae approached him, but Bambam seemed to be uncomfortable, and stopped suddenly to keep some distance between him and his host. Jaebeom looked at Bambam, who had a distrustful look on his pale face.

"Are you ok?" he asked.

Bambam gulped and nodded.

"Yes, it's nothing… I'm just… so impressed…" he answered. Something seemed off, but Bambam smiled at Jaebeom and took him by his arm. "Let's get inside," he said while dragging him towards the door. 

Jaebeom barely had the chance to say hi to Jackson, who started to laugh. "Can't wait, right? I understand! You'll find him at the bar, probably drinking whiskey on the rocks! Have fun." He winked an eye and let both Youngjaes follow them inside.

The party room was fully packed, but you could still have your personal space. They forgot about Bambam’s strange reaction, taking a look around. People were dancing nonstop, and there was an impressive bar at the back with a large selection of drinks ranging from classic to exotic. No one was looking at the door…

No one except Park Jinyoung. 

He had a glass in his right hand, and he drew it slowly to his lips. After a short sip, their eyes finally met.

Jaebeom saw no one else but him.

And Jinyoung couldn't tear his eyes away from Jaebeom.

Jaebeom didn't want to check if he was the one Jackson had mentioned being interested in him. He had to be. _Must be_. Jaebeom freed himself from Bambam and without hesitation, still looking at Jinyoung, he stepped forward.

"See you later, guys!" was all he said.

They didn't need to follow him to know where he was going. His friends had seen a handsome guy at the bar looking straight at them, so it was obvious that he was the chosen one. And they were happy, even proud of Jaebeom for taking the first step. 

Bambam, who was now more at ease, almost forgot about his foreboding feelings. They were all related to Jackson Wang, after all, and not everyone he knew was necessarily like _him_. At least, that was what he hoped, but he would have to keep an eye on the guy the whole night.

Jaebeom found a way through the crowd, walking towards the exact point Jinyoung stood. He didn't know what he was going to say, but he did know that the silence was to end that night. When he finally reached the other side of the room, he took a deep breath and looked at the guy that had been driving him insane.

Under the lights, Jaebeom saw a black shirt and a jacket of the same color. The trousers Jinyoung had chosen were bright red, and he had to contain his amazed whistle. That outfit really suited him. But he wasn’t there to admire his glorious beauty, nor to shower him with praise. He wanted an explanation and he was going to get one… at least, after he had had some liquid courage. 

“Hey, barman!” he called. He was nervous, but he didn’t intend to show it. “Two shots of tequila.”

Yeah, that was a really strong start. Jaebeom didn’t bat an eye, drinking them in a gulp, and neither did Jinyoung as he looked at him completely speechless, not knowing how to start the conversation. He did stare at him, though, trying to catch every single detail of his amazing outfit. Jaebeom was wearing a white shirt with blue jeans and a leather jacket. He was breathtaking, even in those simple clothes and Jinyoung felt something burning inside of him, right in the place where his cold heart was. 

“Jaebeom…” he started saying just loud enough for him to hear it. “I wanted to tell you something.”

Jaebeom glanced at him from the corner of his eye, ordering another round of shots. Then, he nodded. “You owe me an explanation. I’m listening,” he said. 

Jinyoung took a deep breath and looked at his nearly empty drink. His head was spinning as if he was drunk, but that wasn’t possible. He never got drunk, not since everything had changed. Even so, his sight blurred a bit, and he shook his head to get his thoughts together. He wanted to tell him how he was feeling, why he’d been acting in such a stupid and ruthless way...

“Is everything okay?” Jackson appeared from nowhere with a worried look. “You seem… tired,” he added while looking at Jinyoung. It was really strange to see Jinyoung like that, as if he didn’t know what to do, and with their many years of friendship he couldn’t help but worry whenever he saw his best friend having a hard time. That was why he interrupted the conversation they were about to have. 

Jinyoung nodded. “Don’t worry, everything is fine,” he answered, but the concern didn’t leave Jackson’s face. 

“I’ll be close if you need me.” He turned and smiled at Jaebeom. “I trust you to not hurt him. I think he really likes you.” And with those words, he left. 

He didn’t go far, though. Just the necessary distance to eavesdrop and come back to the scene if he was needed. 

Jinyoung cleared his throat and felt his mouth thick. 

_Stupid drunk sensation._

“I’m no good with relationships. It’s been a while since my last love affair and even more years since the last time I really loved someone,” he began. It was difficult enough for him to talk, even more with that nasal voice that didn’t want to go away. By his side, Jaebeom drank his third shot without hesitation, and it seemed as if he was staggering, but nothing happened and he quickly recovered his stability so Jinyoung tried to continue. “I was frightened by the things I was feeling. I couldn’t… deal with them.” He kept eye contact with Jaebeom as he finished his whiskey. Then he looked at his empty glass, as if to uncover the magic trick that was making him feel like this.

Suddenly, Jinyoung felt a certain warmness over his hand. He looked towards it and saw Jaebeom’s hand over his, barely covering it. Jinyoung put his other hand on his chest and furrowed his brows, as if he was trying to come up with the solution to a really difficult equation. How could he feel his cold heart beating faster? No. That was impossible. The tension between them was growing, like a balloon about to burst after being blown up with too much air.

“You don’t have to worry...” Jinyoung looked upwards and saw Jaebeom’s eyes sparkling with determination. Jaebeom pushed one of his tequila shots towards Jinyoung. 

“What?” Jinyoung asked. Jaebeom looked at his tequila shot and smiled. They were definitely getting tipsy. Jaebeom chuckled, as if he just found an internal joke funny. “God, Jaebeom, you’re so drunk...” Jinyoung slurred his words, his facial muscles and tongue refusing to work properly. Feeling embarrassed, he drank the shot and Jaebeom followed him with another one he'd just ordered. 

“Look who’s talking…” Jaebeom laughed, his small eyes turning into crescents. Jinyoung couldn’t help himself and laughed as well, whiskers appearing around his eyes. 

The car had reached the climax of the roller coaster. That silent highest point before the freefall. The heart-stopping moment of vertigo, terrifying and thrilling at the same time. 

The magical excitement when a child finds and unwraps their presents on Christmas day. 

The rest of the world was white noise.

They were in their own little universe, apart from the rest of humanity. 

Nothing else mattered.

Only Jaebeom and Jinyoung, and their little universe. 

The world froze as they stopped laughing. The electronic beat of the song and the alcohol flowing through their veins muffled the rest of the world. They looked at each other in slow motion, as if the laws of time and space were void. Just for that night, they were two free entities. They were like gods, free to build and destroy whatever they wanted. 

Jaebeom took Jinyoung’s hand and smiled at him. Jinyoung couldn’t stop himself from mirroring that smile with his lips, his heart jumping in ecstasy. 

“I feel the same…” Jaebeom screamed into his ear, trying to speak above the deafening beat of the music. Jinyoung put his hands around Jaebeom’s neck and got closer to his ear.

“What do you mean?” He barely got to pronounce those words because of that “drunk sensation” and then chuckled. 

“I’m scared because I feel the same, Jinyoung…” Jinyoung felt sparks as Jaebeom touched his arm. “You don’t have to worry because I like you, Jinyoung. I was upset because I didn’t understand… I didn’t know why you ran away after our date, and then…” Jaebeom’s hand travelled downwards from his arm to his waist, the touch lighting a fire under Jinyoung’s skin. 

“I was scared because it felt right... being with you…” Jinyoung couldn’t restrain himself from opening himself to Jaebeom, totally numbed by that _drunk sensation_. He needed Jaebeom to understand him. 

“If we feel the same… Why deny it?” Their noses were almost touching, Jaebeom’s warm breathing caressing Jinyoung’s lips. “I like you, Jinyoung,” Jinyoung’s heart was about to burst. “I _want_ you.” 

They embraced the freefall. 

Jinyoung pulled Jaebeom towards him and their lips connected. Jaebeom was surprised at first, as the other took the lead, but after a moment he responded to it and started moving his lips. The timer hit zero and the bomb went off, muffling the rest of the world. The small itch Jinyoung felt at their date became an unstoppable fire… And he was ready to be consumed by it. 

No more restraints. 

Like a nail that moved towards a magnet, Jaebeom let Jinyoung take the lead. He didn’t want to think, he just wanted to melt with Jinyoung. _Jinyoung. Jinyoung. Jinyoung._ Jinyoung pulled his hair to get him even closer, and Jaebeom opened his mouth even more. He wanted more. He needed more. 

A puncture. Jaebeom felt Jinyoung’s teeth bite his lips, and he started sucking at them. Damn, that was hot. He felt a familiar pressure in his lower body, a scream for release. As ecstasy was running through his veins, he felt his life force being sucked from him. He felt weightless. Dissolved in chaos. 

Suddenly, Jinyoung stopped kissing him. He hadn’t even realized that he’d had his eyes closed the whole time. 

He opened his eyes. 

Jinyoung’s eyes changed from crimson to his chocolate. His eyes widened in horror, as if Jaebeom had seen something he wasn’t supposed to see. Then, he hugged him and started kissing his neck. 

He definitely drank too much. 

“I like you too,” Jinyoung whispered in his ear. “I want to be with you.”

He felt his smile against the skin of his neck. Jinyoung had the most beautiful smile he had ever seen. He couldn’t see his face at that moment, but it didn’t matter. That smile was everything. It was the whole world. 

But suddenly, they were separated. Jinyoung blinked twice as he watched a silver haired man taking a still confused Jaebeom away from him. 

"You! What the hell were you going to do?" the guy asked, enraged. "Don't even think about it! I won't let you eat him like that!"

Jaebeom looked at his friend in shock, trying to calm him. "Bambam!" he exclaimed, but he kept pulling him away. He looked at Jinyoung, who didn't know what to do.

What Jaebeom saw, however, seemed to be straight out of a _telenovela_.

Jinyoung had… fangs? Like vampires did? And was trying to hide them?

_Jinyoung. A vampire._

Two guys appeared at his side with unnatural speed. He recognized one as Jackson, but he hadn't met the other one. He was incredibly tall and thin, with an enviable skin and amazing black hair that contrasted beautifully. 

"What's his problem?" Jackson asked in disbelief. 

"I don't know, but I don't care…" the other guy said, frowning. 

"We'll talk later," Jaebeom said, hoping Jinyoung had read his lips while pronouncing exaggeratedly to make it easier. 

Jinyoung nodded. "Don't worry, Jackson, Yugyeom… I'll talk to him later," he whispered to his friends to try to avoid a bigger scene. There were already enough eyes on them, especially on Bambam. Lucky for Jinyoung, no one had seen his fangs...

Just Jaebeom, who had also seen his crimson eyes.

Jaebeom took a deep breath in relief. Then, he looked at Bambam.

Where his eyes... purple? What?

Jaebeom blinked.

The color… was gone? Was it his mind?

Was he hallucinating?

"We need to go home," Bambam said. "This party is full of monsters… Even Yugyeom. How was I ever attracted to him?" he added, clenching his teeth. 

Jaebeom hadn't even had the time to process what had happened when they found Choi Youngjae to leave. Yoo Youngjae, however, was having the time of his life with karaoke and refused to leave. He'd met someone interesting, it seemed. 

But halfway to the door, something happened. Jaebeom stopped. He put his hands on his head as it suddenly started to pound. He was starting to sweat and couldn't see. His vision blurring, he held on to Bambam's arm for support, and he didn't hear a worried Youngjae asking what was wrong. His head seemed to be somewhere else. He was seeing strange images and he didn't know where they were coming from, and he was hearing voices he couldn't understand.

_The air felt light and the voice was so soft, his breath caressing his skin…_

"Jaebeom? Are you okay?" Youngjae cried, but didn't get any answer.

_Then, a smile… It was the whole world…_

"I think he's shocked…" Bambam shook him but got no reaction. Jaebeom, completely pale, didn't seem to be there. His eyes had glazed over, his mind focused on what he was seeing in his mind. A smile, an ethereal voice that was fading...

_But suddenly, another enraged voice._

Jaebeom started to tremble, his awareness almost gone. 

_"Kill that bastard!"_

He didn't recognize that enraged voice, but it sent chills down his spine. Something terrible was going to happen, but he didn't know what and he couldn't do anything to avoid it.

"He… what…" he murmured, but his friends couldn't understand what he was saying.

_… stay alive… world full of sharpness..._

"Help…" whispered Jaebeom, before falling to the ground. His friends caught him just in time and tried to reach the door to call for an ambulance.

They were worried sick.

Behind them, Jinyoung appeared with Jackson and Yugyeom.

"What happened…?" he asked.

"What did you do to him…?" Bambam returned the question, looking at the worried faces of Jinyoung and his friends. Could it be that he had nothing to do with Jaebeom's condition? But he… was… 

_A monster._

From a platform, someone was looking down at them with a big smile.

The wheels of destiny were finally moving.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> third chapter! we're halfway to the end and we hope you're enjoying it and feeling as many emotions as us writting this story! thank you so much for your love and support, especially to lore and varichina (yeah, we said it like... a million times? but you deserve it, girls ❤)!

An ambulance had taken Jaebeom to the hospital and Jinyoung, worried, wasn’t sure what to do. He wanted to go make sure he was okay, but Jaebeom's friends didn't seem too happy about it, especially the one who had fought Jackson. The look in his eyes had been absolutely despising. 

And as if there weren't enough complications already, that friend was—apparently—a warlock. Purple. The color of his eyes was the proof. 

"Don't worry, Jinyoung hyung," Yugyeom said, patting him on the back affectionately. "I'm sure he just drank too much. He'll be alright."

"I'm not sure…" Jinyoung answered, frowning. "He saw my eyes. And I… I bit him in the lip. He saw my fangs."

"Well, then there's one thing you can still do." Jackson, who had just bid his last guests farewell, said as he sat next to Jinyoung. "Erase his memory. Being a vampire has its advantages sometimes."

Jinyoung nodded. He'd been a vampire for a long time now and Jackson had always been by his side, teaching and helping him. Despite the problems they'd had in the beginning, when  _ everything _ had first happened, they’d come to be really good friends and trusted each other with their lives. It was a really long story... Being a vampire wasn't always easy, obviously, especially when it came to things like love, happy endings and lifelong promises.

He knew it wasn’t right for him to love a human…

But that was exactly what seemed to be happening… and selfishly, he didn't want Jaebeom to forget. He didn't want him to forget about the kiss, about his words, about the touch of their skin.

"Or change it," Yugyeom added. "You can fool him into believing he'd drank too much, that he misunderstood what he saw: that was just you biting him out of passion. No fangs, no crimson eyes."

"That's a good idea. I wouldn't like to erase… well, everything that happened."

"Then, go to the hospital." Jackson smiled. "You can still have a little  _ privacy _ , even if it's in that kind of  _ room _ ," he said, winking at him.

Jinyoung rolled his eyes.

He just wanted to talk, not that  _ kind of privacy _ . At least, not yet, right? 

"I have something I need to do first," he answered, before heading on his way. 

Their house was close by, and he felt a weight lift off his shoulders as he finally closed the door behind him. There, he could feel safe. It was his private space, just him and his worries.

And his secrets.

He walked to the bed and sat down, taking out a small key hidden under the table lamp and unlocking one of the drawers. 

There it was, a little wooden box painted in white with golden embellishments. 

It was his most precious treasure, but it also held his most painful memories. 

Jinoyung took the box and opened it with extreme care, almost afraid of what was inside it. A sweet melody began to play, a song he could never forget. Since the box was old and worn, he made sure to check that everything was still working from time to time. The music had gotten softer, and sometimes it skipped, but it still evoked his past memories, his secrets and his fears. 

Everything he’d lived, even if he couldn’t picture some of those things in his mind anymore. 

Inside the box, there were just a few items. A worn piece of paper, with a beautiful text written in ink that Jinyoung avoided for the sake of his aching feelings. There was a silver brooch, a silk scarf, and a little ring made of gold with a small diamond. 

_ The ring. _

He closed his eyes for a second to try to recall, but he couldn’t. Not his face, his smile or how his voice sounded. But there was one thing he knew for sure: Jaebeom reminded him of that person he’d loved a few centuries ago, that person he would have died for… And it was scary because he had been broken for so many years after  _ everything _ had happened. However, he knew he needed to give it a try, to get to know Jaebeom to his core. 

He was the only one who’d made him feel alive again, who’d made him wish for something. 

Jinyoung needed to change his memories to avoid losing him. 

He deserved an opportunity, after all, even though being a vampire while Jaebeom was human gave them only a short amount of time together.

***

Jaebeom didn't open his eyes when he finally came to. He felt heavy and dizzy, his head aching as if it had been hit with a hammer. What had happened? He couldn't remember anything properly. Everything was just a blur of images that he couldn’t seem to piece together. 

Jaebeom felt nauseous as he slowly opened his eyes. He didn’t drink that much, right? Man, was he really getting too old to drink? He wouldn’t let himself get dragged to another party ever again. He’ll just start his early retirement. 

When he raised his hand to rub the fog from his eyes, he noticed something in his arm. He opened his eyes fully only to be blinded by a bright light, making him close them again. 

“Good morning, hyung.” Youngjae’s voice shook him out of his stunned state. He blinked again slowly and looked around. Youngjae was sitting in a chair beside his bed. Was he in a hospital? Jaebeom moved his head and saw what was in his arm. Attached to it was an IV line, providing him with some kind of drug or saline. 

“What happened?” he said with a raspy voice. He swallowed, his throat feeling sore. He heard Youngjae sighing. 

“You fainted, hyung. Don’t you remember that?”

He felt dizzy and nauseous all over again, and he closed his eyes to try to lessen it. He remembered. Some of the moments started coming back in flashes, like a damaged tape. The shots. The freefall. The passionate kiss with Jinyoung and then…

_ … The blood. Jinyoung’s red eyes. His fangs. And then, the intense headache and the visions. And Bambam… with ephemeral purple eyes? _

He couldn’t tell Youngjae. He couldn’t tell anyone. They would think he’d lost his mind. 

“Not much…”

“God… How much did you drink? There was no way to awaken you. You may have suffered from alcohol poisoning, hyung.” 

The worry in Youngjae’s face made Jaebeom feel a pang of shame and guilt. Not because the only family he had left, his uncle and his aunt, could find out—they didn’t really care for him, anyway—but because of himself. When he tried to put an arm over his eyes in an attempt to hide, he felt the tension in the puncture of the catheter connected to the IV line. 

“It’s alright, hyung. This can happen to anyone.” Youngjae put a hand on his arm, comforting him. “We were really worried about you, hyung. You looked fine and then suddenly… It was as if you went into shock. As if your soul left your body or… You know, when a character is having a vision, or seeing the future or something like that? Were you having a vision, hyung? If you turn out to be a superhero or something we have to hide you! The government could be after you!”

Youngjae’s ramblings made him smile, despite how sick he felt and how worried he was. The other had always been like a little brother to him. A luminous sun that could burn, if needed, but definitely made his life brighter. 

Despite feeling a bit better, he couldn’t stop thinking about Jinyoung. Had he really gotten so drunk that he started having hallucinations? Jaebeom bit and licked his lip, as he always did. Bambam was always nagging him to stop the habit as it made his lips chapped. Suddenly, he felt something strange. Something that wasn’t supposed to be there. As he moved his tongue across his lower lip, he found the spot where Jinyoung bit him and furrowed his brows. 

“Are you ok, Jaebeom?”

“As much as I can be… Yeah…” He smiled. He was dying to share his concerns with his friend. But he couldn’t. 

“It’s a pity that the night got ruined in the end…” Youngjae sighed. “You and Jinyoung make a good pair, your chemistry is out of this world. Maybe you should call him, hyung.” Jaebeom felt a chill run down his spine as he remembered Jinyoung’s red eyes. Red like blood. Inhuman crimson. “He looked really worried and he wanted to come along with you, but Bambam wouldn’t let him… I wonder why he behaved like that…”

The flash vanished when Youngjae mentioned that Jinyoung wanted to be with him. The thought made his heart beat faster, a warm sensation flowing through his veins. 

“Really? Jinyoung wanted to come?”

“When you fainted… It was chaotic. Jinyoung looked at you in horror, as if he was afraid of losing you. But Bambam confronted him and told him to go away.”

“Why?”

“He kept calling him a monster… and that he should have known better. I think he may have had too much to drink.” Youngjae shrugged.

Jaebeom looked at him, thoughtful. Had Bambam really said that? Why? He’d been acting strange the whole day before the party, but he had assumed that it was due to university issues. If not… Was it possible that there was something they didn’t know, not only about Jinyoung and his mysterious friends, but about Bambam too?

He would have to talk to him. But right now he needed to clear his thoughts, and his pounding headache wasn’t exactly helping. 

“Youngjae… Why don’t you go and get some coffee? I’m sure you need it.”

“That’s a good idea, hyung. I’ll be back in a minute,” he answered. Then, after looking back at him one last time, still a bit worried but mostly relieved, he left the room. 

Jaebeom was left alone. He stared at the ceiling, wondering what to do next. Should he call Jinyoung and ask about what he had seen? Had he been drunk enough to be seeing things like fangs and that kind of stuff? Had it even been real? He couldn’t be sure. And also… he needed to think about the visions he had been having. What were they about? He couldn’t understand their meaning, and he couldn’t recognize the people who appeared in them. It was really, really strange. 

He didn’t have much time to do any of that, though, since the door was opening. Wow, Youngjae had been quick…

But it wasn’t Youngjae. 

_ Shit. _

Jinyoung entered the room and closed the door behind him before Jaebeom could even blink. The first thing he did was look Jaebeom straight in the eye… and he felt terrible. Jaebeom’s face was pale, with dark bags under his eyes. There was also a puncture, the catheter of an IV line… 

He almost cursed.  _ Almost _ .

Suddenly, Jaebeom felt terribly self-conscious about his appearance. He didn’t expect to see him so soon and definitely not in an observation unit of the hospital. Jinyoung was only wearing a simple green hoodie and black jeans, with a small bag, and his hair disheveled and wavy, yet he still looked as if he had just come out of a drama. Jaebeom felt underdressed. 

Jinyoung got closer to the bed, worry painting his handsome face. Jaebeom once again felt that stab of guilt and shame. He wanted to touch Jinyoung’s soft cheek and tell him he shouldn’t feel like that. He wanted to console him even though it was Jaebeom lying on the hospital bed, hooked up to an IV line recovering from supposed alcohol poisoning. Jaebeom felt as if he was falling under his spell. Just minutes ago he was worrying about that vision of piercing fangs and vivid crimson, straight out of a horror movie, and now he was only worried about Jinyoung. 

Yeah, maybe he really was losing his mind. 

Jinyoung put his hand on the side rail of the bed and cleared his throat. 

“How are you, hyung?” Jinyoung asked. Jaebeom gulped, wincing as he felt the pain in his throat. 

“Having the worst hangover of my life… How about you?” Jaebeom tried to downplay the issue and break the tense atmosphere that was filling the room. But Jinyoung didn’t laugh. Jaebeom could see a storm of bottled up emotions in his eyes. The clouds, rain and lightning all mixed in contradiction. A beautiful phenomenon of nature. “It was a joke. Sorry.” Jaebeom’s lips curved into a sheepish smile, and Jinyoung reflected his expression with a small smile that didn’t connect with his eyes. 

“I’m sorry…” Jaebeom could swear he saw Jinyoung’s mask starting to fall as he heard his voice waver. Behind that rehearsed composure there was emotion. “I’m sorry that I fucked it up…”

“What? Why?” Jaebeom tried to sit up but was hit with a wave of nausea and dizziness once again. But nothing compared to the pain of seeing Jinyoung blaming himself for something that wasn’t his fault. “Parties get ruined all the time. And it wasn’t even your party. We can blame Jackson for being a bad host. Or even Bambam for making a scene. Or you can blame me for fainting in the middle of the party because I was too drunk.” 

“Hyung… I’m serious,” Jinyoung said, his voice strained. As if he was about to break. “This was supposed to make up for the date. To apologize.”

“Hey, Jinyoung.” Jaebeom put his hand over Jinyoung’s, which was on the side rail. The touch began to revive the embers of the previous night. He glimpsed flashes of the moment when he had done the same gesture. “I don’t recall much of the ending of the night, but I remember that you gave me an explanation. You shared your worries with me and opened up your heart. You were honest, and that’s enough for me.” Jinyoung looked at him, guilt across his face. “I’m serious. You came all the way here to apologize for something you didn’t have to. That shows me that you care.”

Jinyoung looked down at where their hands were touching. Maybe if Jaebeom didn’t recall that moment, he wouldn’t even have to rewrite his memories. He wouldn’t have to live with the guilt of lying to Jaebeom. 

“Seeing you faint… It really scared me, hyung.” Jinyoung looked as if he wasn’t really seeing him anymore. As if he was remembering something horrible. The vertiginous sensation of an inescapable destiny, the story repeating itself all over again. He saw the possibility of losing someone he was starting to have feelings for... The fear of hurting again and drowning in loneliness. 

“I… I don’t recall that… I…” Jaebeom furrowed his brows, trying to come up with a way to tell him without looking like a madman. “Okay, maybe you’ll think I’m out of my mind.”

Jinyoung felt a pang of fear. An intuition. A bad omen. The way one’s stomach drops at the top of the rollercoaster. 

“Try me.” Jinyoung tried to contain his emotions. To hide behind a mask of serenity. 

“Before I fainted… After we kissed.” Jaebeom avoided looking at him, embarrassed. “Okay, maybe it was the alcohol, but… I swear your eyes were red, and that you had fangs… Like a vampire… Crazy, right?” Jinyoung laughed and hoped that his expression wasn’t forced. 

“Really?” Jinyoung scoffed and looked Jaebeom in the eye. Staring into his soul. Now or never. “Fangs and crimson eyes?  **That’s something I’d like to forget** .  **I’d prefer to just remember that I bit you out of passion and that I looked at you with overwhelming desire. I wouldn’t want my date to be a monster** .” Jinyoung said the words slowly, using his charm. 

“Why would I?” Jaebeom looked at him, confused. 

_ What? It didn’t work? _

“I think that’s a good anecdote. A good story to tell," Jaebeom added.

“Do you really think that it’s good to tell your friends that you suspect your date was a monster?” Jinyoung smiled. “You’re really weird.”

“You’re the weird one! Look at this!” Jaebeom touched his lower lip with his finger. “You bit me!”

“I didn’t see you complaining,” Jinyoung pouted. 

“You made me faint with your bite.” They looked at each other and laughed. “I’m going to call the police. Or Buffy the Vampire Slayer.”

“Hyung…” Jinyoung snorted and hit his shoulder lightly. 

“Ouch!” Jaebeom said dramatically, acting as if he was in pain. “Take pity on this ill man! You’re so cruel! I’m going to call the nurse!”

The memories of Jinyoung and Bambam's physical transformations were still there, like the fear that lingers after hearing a ghost story, preventing one from falling asleep. A lingering doubt in his subconscious. But he knew they lived in the real world, where there was just an infinitesimal chance of the existence of the supernatural. The door was ajar, but he knew that in reality, the most logical explanation often had the upper hand. Those mysteries turned into cold cases when they couldn't be explained. A good story to tell. An urban legend. 

And now Jinyoung and Jaebeom were even laughing about it, so it really all might be a coincidence, even Bambam's apparent—and inexplicable—apprehension towards the guy sitting next to him.

There was one thing Jaebeom was sure about, though: he wouldn't ever drink in that place again. He might even stop drinking and going out altogether.

Jinyoung laughed again. The concern about Jaebeom’s immunity to his charm lingered, as an afterthought. He would have to discuss it with Jackson. At that moment, though, he felt a weight lift off his shoulders. He knew this wouldn’t work forever. This was just a small bandage, not big enough to cover such a deep wound. The truth would come out eventually, but it was enough for him to feel at ease for the time being.

Suddenly, he remembered the other reason why he’d come. He wasn’t sure if Jaebeom would accept, considering the disaster the party turned out to be. But it was worth a try.

“I also came to tell you something, hyung.” Jaebeom looked at him, interested. It reminded him of Jackson. Jaebeom was a good listener and an empathic soul. A dose of reassurance. 

“Yes?” 

“I understand if you don’t want to come because of what happened…”

“Jinyoung…”

“My little brother and I are going to spend a few days at Jackson’s house during Christmas break and I… I was thinking about inviting you to come with us…”

Jaebeom felt uneasy. Even though he considered himself to be sociable, he felt uncomfortable in situations where he felt like an intruder. Jackson was only Jinyoung’s friend, and he didn’t even know his brother. He was a stranger.

“Jinyoung… I don’t know if I should…” Jaebeom scratched the back of his neck apologetically. “Is Jackson okay with this? I don’t even know him that well…”

“Don’t worry about it, hyung.” Jinyoung smiled reassuringly. “Actually, he was the one who’d invited you… He feels sorry for what happened at his party. He can’t help but worry about everyone.”

“But Jinyoung… I don’t know anyone... “ 

“What about it? You know me.” 

Jaebeom was thankful he wasn’t connected to a heart monitor, because it would reveal how frantic his heart had begun to beat.  _ You know me _ . Jinyoung appreciated him enough to consider inviting him. Despite their awful first blind date and the catastrophic ending of the party, there was a possibility that this could work. 

“And Jackson likes you. Well, he likes everyone. You know how he is... ‘Frat party king Jackson’.” Jinyoung moved his fingers to draw quotation marks into the air and they chuckled. “And Yugyeom… Even if he can sometimes be a brat… He’s a good kid. He’ll like you.” 

Silence fell like a blanket over them. Jaebeom felt entranced. Jinyoung was undeniably handsome, but he was even more beautiful when he was so enthusiastic. Seeing him talk about his little brother and his friend with such endearment made Jaebeom like him even more. He felt Jinyoung’s walls crack, and he could see a bit of the enthusiastic and cheerful Jinyoung that was buried so deep. The one that wasn’t afraid of feeling. A completely different Jinyoung than the one that had entered into the room. 

“So… What do you say, hyung? Are you coming?”

“Yes,” Jaebeom replied. “If anything goes wrong, this time we can actually blame ‘Frat party king Jackson’.” Jaebeom repeated the gesture Jinyoung had made before and made him laugh. 

***

A few days later, Jaebeom was packing some things for his little adventure with Jinyoung. When he'd told Bambam and Youngjae about it, the former had said he was crazy and he wouldn't allow it. Jaebeom had asked, then, if there was something he needed to know about Jinyoung that Bambam wasn’t telling him. He liked him and wanted his friends' support. But Bambam… had just ran out of the living room, babbling incomprehensibly. 

Jaebeom sighed. They needed to talk, but it would have to wait until after the getaway. 

Unbeknownst to Jaebeom, Bambam had, with all his pouting, succeeded in convincing Youngjae to have their own getaway, too.

And, coincidentally, near Jackson's house.

Bambam needed to protect Jaebeom. He might even need to cast a spell. A 'protect him from vampires' one, if that even existed. 

Jaebeom closed his bag and stretched. He felt odd, though. Was he getting dizzy again? He sat on the bed and closed his eyes to avoid the feeling, but something appeared in his mind. 

_ A haze. A voice. _

_ "Life doesn't last forever, but our love will. That's the most sincere soul bond, between us two." _

_ "That's a beautiful excerpt. I knew you were going to love this book. Maybe forever." _

_ "Maybe as much as I love you…" _

Jaebeom, suddenly feeling lightheaded, leaned back on the bed. 

What was that? Was he having hallucinations again? 

He was definitely going crazy.

***

"Let me do it. I know how it works," a guy with purple gradient hair said.

The scary old man looked at him, but didn't say anything. He just smiled, as if he was caught in an enchantment. 

"Of course," he finally answered. "I'll prepare the contract and you'll be paid as soon as the Christmas festival ends. May I have your name?" His voice was slow and sleepy.

"Yeah. I'm Mark. Mark Tuan."

The old man left, but the younger lingered next to his new workplace. He smiled mischievously.

The next piece was about to fit in the puzzle.

***

The ride to Jackson’s house wasn’t that long, he lived just twenty minutes away from campus. However, in that short time, Jaebeom learned a lot.

Jackson was extremely funny, but also serious if needed. He worried a lot about Jinyoung, and they seemed to be very close. Jaebeom liked that. Having someone that reliable in your life always helped when you were going through a hard time. 

He also got to know Yugyeom. He turned out to be a really energetic guy, but with such a big heart he almost broke Jaebeom with his charm. Jaebeom felt touched. He was having so much fun, and he hoped the others were too. 

They were like family. Even though Jaebeom had been afraid of interfering, that fear was long gone. None of them had treated him like he was unwelcome. On the contrary: accepted him as if he was an old friend.

As if Jaebeom belonged there, with them.

"We're here!" Jackson exclaimed, parking the car and getting out.

Jaebeom had to blink twice. Wow. They stood in front of an impressively large mansion, surrounded by a high, metal fence. 

"This is… your house?" Jaebeom couldn't help but ask.

"Don't worry. You two will have plenty of time and space to have some…  _ privacy _ ." Jackson winked at him, grinning. 

"This is the JJ Project," Yugyeom added, patting Jaebeom's back. "Jinyoung and Jaebeom's Project. Do you like it? Jackson and I have been working really hard to surprise both of you."

Jinyoung sighed, hiding his eyes. He was going to kill them. Painfully. 

"Yugyeom! Why are you revealing the brilliant name of our secret plan?" Jackson pouted. "They didn't need to know!"

And with those words Jackson ran after Yugyeom, his cheerfulness contagious. Jaebeom couldn't help but smile and Jinyoung sighed again, this time looking up at his friends.

Jaebeom looked into Jinyoung’s eyes. They were full of tenderness.

It was really endearing. It reminded him of his own lovely, stubborn friends.

“Well,” Jackson said, finally, failing to catch Yugyeom. “The staff will put our bags in our rooms. They’ve already received instructions, so… Who wants to party?” He did a little giddy dance. 

“We’re going to the Christmas Market!” Yugyeom exclaimed, jumping energetically. “You’re going to love it, Jaebeom hyung! It’s amazing, there’s even a Ferris wheel.” 

Yugyeom’s eyes were brimming with excitement, as if he couldn’t wait to explore the whole market. Jaebeom smiled and nodded, looking at Jinyoung. He didn’t get the chance to go to those kinds of places that often, and he wanted to enjoy it until he was completely worn out. 

Jinyoung looked back at him and shrugged, smiling just a hint. Having Yugyeom in his life had changed everything. He was usually the kind of person who enjoyed staying home and having some alone time, but Yugyeom had made his world a lot more colorful. And bright. Together with Jackson, they'd explored so many places, including a slew of markets, and this Christmas one was by far his favorite. And it was his favorite time of the year. His enthusiasm was always infectious, and this time was no exception.

“I hope you like shooting galleries, Jaebeom-hyung. I’m really good at that,” Jinyoung said. 

“Watch me beat your ass,” Jaebeom replied. 

***

Just twenty minutes by car from Jackson’s mansion, one of the most impressive Christmas Markets was annually held. The town, far smaller than the city in which they all lived, completely transformed itself into a fairy tale village. A galaxy of green, gold and red stars warmed the quaint streets of the small town, where restaurants, pubs and shops crowded side by side. During these last couple of months of the year, the town received visitors from all over the country and even from abroad. The town welcomed them with open arms, proffering traditional Christmas delicacies, clothing, figurines, liquors, souvenirs and, most importantly, a memorable time.

Most of the activity was concentrated in the big Christmas Market organized every year. In the main square of the town, a path of cabin-like stalls sparkled under the azure and snow-white halo of an artificial meteor shower. The small garden contained within was completely transformed into an elf town. Small cabins decorated with candy, smiling gingerbread figures and kind elves inhabited the space where children played during the rest of the year. 

Next to the main square and a few streets away, one would find the main park of the town, where the youth usually gathered. In that park there was a winter carnival, with attractions such as a small roller coaster, a haunted house and a wave swinger, as well as rides for children, a variety of games and a Ferris wheel. 

As soon as they arrived, Yugyeom’s eyes sparkled like a child who was about to open his presents on Christmas day. It was endearing how, even if he was not that much younger than the rest of them, he still had that innocent excitement. The group went straight to the small amusement park, as Yugyeom was begging to try as many rides as he could. 

“I told you, Yugyeom! I won’t go to the roller coaster! I don’t like them!” Jackson tried to shake a whiny Yugyeom off his arm. 

“But hyuuuuuung! You always bring me here, and you always promise to go on the rides with me the following year and I end up on my own!” Yugyeom pouted. “Pleaaaase…”

“Why don’t you just ask  **him** ?” Jackson addressed Jinyoung with his thumb. During their whole little quarrel, Jinyoung and Jaebeom had been in their own little world, talking about uni, the latest gossip, recent interests. Just talking about everything and nothing, and enjoying each other’s presence. When Jackson burst their little bubble, Jinyoung looked at him, annoyed. 

“Don’t drag me into this!” Jinyoung complained. Even if he tried to act annoyed and indifferent, deep inside he didn’t like rides one bit. They just weren’t worth his time. Or maybe… Just  _ maybe, _ he was a little scared of them. No. He was a vampire. It wouldn’t make sense for him to be scared, or for him to get motion sickness. But if he was able to fall in love, why would he be exempt from feeling any other human sensations?

_ It isn’t that deep, Jinyoung _ .

“Why would I try asking him? This hyung won’t ever go with me! Old man...” Yugyeom pouted.

“Hey!” Jinyoung sent Yugyeom a death glare. 

“Where is the lie, hyung?” Yugyeom teased. As he was about to reply, something unexpected happened. 

“I’ll go with you,” Jaebeom said. “It’s been a long time since I’ve gone on a ride, anyways.” Maybe it was delusion, but Jinyoung could swear his long dead heart started beating rapidly as Jaebeom smiled at Yugyeom, his eyes turning to crescents. Jinyoung had to stop himself from booping the cute little piercing on his nose, from kissing the twin moles over his right eye, kissing him on the lips and finding warmth in his arms. Even if Jaebeom was only wearing a dark parka to shield him from cold weather, like him—it wasn’t like he needed it… it was for blending in reasons, of course—, there couldn’t be a more handsome human being in his eyes. 

After his initial shock, Yugyeom abruptly embraced Jaebeom, startling him.

“Thank you, hyung! You’re the best! I’m gonna drop these two mean hyungs!” Yugyeom said and stuck his tongue out. 

“ **This hyung** has raised you, you ungrateful brat!” Jinyoung complained, pointing at himself. 

“Yeah, yeah… But you still won’t go on a ride with me after all this time! You won’t even go with your date…” Yugyeom winked. “What a bad host and a bad  **boyfriend** .” He savored that last word, pronouncing it slowly on purpose. 

_ That damn brat _ .

Jinyoung was in shock. He was conflicted. He didn’t know what stage their relationship was at. They hadn’t had a chance to discuss it between the party incident and this trip. Or maybe they had mutually swept this complicated issue under the rug. He knew that no matter what, if he dodged the situation or if he addressed it, he would get into trouble. 

_ I will kill you _ . He glared at Yugyeom as if to announce his death sentence. 

“He doesn’t need to go with us if he doesn’t want-” Jaebeom scratched the back of his head apologetically.

“I’ll go!” Jinyoung interrupted him, shocking the rest of the group. 

“If Jinyoung goes, I’ll go too,” Jackson said, joining the party as they lined up in the queue to buy tickets. 

“You’re only coming along because you don’t want to miss out.” Yugyeom raised his eyebrows. 

“Shut up,” Jackson replied. 

Luckily for them, they didn’t have to wait long to get on the roller coaster because the rides were over quickly. Jaebeom noticed that Jinyoung was dead silent, looking uneasy. He couldn’t help but put a hand on Jinyoung’s shoulder. 

“You don’t have to do it if you don’t want to,” Jaebeom said. “Roller coasters aren’t for everyone, it’s completely fine.”

“But I want to.” Jinyoung smiled warmly at him. “I want to go with you.”

“Just… I don’t want you to feel pressured to do it for me…”

“It’s fine.” Jinyoung grabbed Jaebeom’s arm gently, trying to soften his worried look. “I mean it. Meeting you has changed so many things for me. As if I’ve awakened from a long slumber... If that makes any sense…”

“It does.” Jaebeom remembered how dull his life was before meeting him. Of course he had pages filled with memories of time spent with his friends and past relationships. But ever since he got to know Jinyoung, it was as if something had clicked. As if a candle was lit in the midst of the darkest night. A spark before the fire. As he could finally see something he had only perceived from the corner of his eye. Ever since he met him, he wanted to write a new page from him. He still wanted to do it. And part of that included trying new things. 

Suddenly, they were interrupted as they were directed to enter one of the cars in the train. Yugyeom almost bounced to it, a bubble of energy and excitement. He and Jackson were in front of them, the latter one showing signs of distress. 

“Ah! Jackson! Isn’t this exciting?” Yugyeom teased while almost bouncing on the seat. Jackson grabbed one of his arms and put his head on the younger’s shoulder. 

“I’ll kill you!” Jackson closed his eyes. 

“Hyung, you’re so dramatic! You enjoy rides, I know it!” 

“But I’ve never been in one of these! If I don’t survive I-”

The start of the ride silenced their bickering. Even if Jinyoung had said earlier that he was sure of his decision, he was too quiet. As if something was bothering him. As the train started moving up the incline, Jinyoung put a hand softly on Jaebeom’s leg, so subtle that Jaebeom shouldn’t have noticed. Jaebeom sensed it, however, and he bowed his head and smiled. It was endearing how, despite looking composed and serious in other situations, Jinyoung was apparently scared of going on a roller coaster. It was something he didn’t have under his control. Like that first date, their meeting in the library or the party. As if the things he didn’t expect were a force able to crack in his wall. 

On an impulse, Jaebeom held his hand. Even though Jinyoung’s hand was cold, the contact was electric. Jaebeom moved his head up and their eyes connected, the loop completed. Jinyoung’s fear turned to calm, while Jaebeom could feel his heart starting to pound. Jaebeom smiled at him softly, trying to reassure him. In return, Jinyoung tightened his hold and mirrored his smile. 

Once again they were reaching the top. 

And embracing the freefall. 

Together. 

Nothing else mattered.

***

Yugyeom laughed and took another sip of his choco shake. Even if Jinyoung had had his doubts about it, he had to admit that he had fun. He couldn’t erase from his memory how Jaebeom took his hand when he had felt uneasy. A simple gesture that had warmed his heart. Another reason, maybe, to fall for him even more. 

“YUGYEOOOOOOOOOM! YUGYEOOOOOOOOOOOM! I’LL KILL YOU, YUGYEOOOOM!” Yugyeom mocked Jackson’s shrieks, making the rest—minus Jackson, who looked deeply offended—laugh. “This hyung! He was announcing every turn and fall the train would make because he screamed at all of them! And that wasn’t the worst thing. He wanted to go on it again because he said he liked it!”

“Yeah, yeah… Really funny, making fun of your hyungs,” Jackson pouted.

“Duh.” Yugyeom shrugged and took another sip of his choco shake. 

“Why don’t you go mock Jinyoung?” Jackson asked. 

“He’s my brother and I always respect him.”

“Yeah, sure…” Jinyoung rolled his eyes.

“And he’s with his  **boyfriend** .” Yugyeom drew out the work on purpose again. “I respect the JJ Project, alright?”

Jackson shushed him. 

The group was on a bench, resting after trying most of the rides—by Yugyeom’s suggestion. It was almost dinnertime, so they decided that that was the best moment to take a break and enjoy some tasty Korean food and other Christmas delights. Jinyoung was sitting beside Jaebeom, and the latter could still feel the lingering spark of their brief moment on the ride, as their thighs had touched.

As Jaebeom looked around, a scene caught his eye. Two kids, dressed as small elves, were in the playground laughing and running around, playing some imaginary game. That endearing scene evoked a bittersweet feeling for Jaebeom. He realized that he had never had much of a chance to be a kid. He had to grow up fast. But that wasn’t the only reason he felt like that. A feeling of emptiness was there. Something was missing. Something on the tip of his tongue. 

A strong headache.

_ “Do you want to be my friend?” _

_ “We shouldn’t.” _

The world was fading. 

_ “You are always lonely. I thought you might want some company.” _

His world was fading. 

Fading into black.

Fading into green. 

A green meadow. A clear day. Two kids. 

“Jaebeom, are you alright? Wake up! He fainted! We have to bring him to a hospital, Jackson!”

“We can’t. What are you going to tell them?”

“I don’t know. I can’t lose him!”

_ “Be my friend.” _

A handshake between two lonely kids. Two smiles. A start under the bright sun. 

***

“I think he’s waking up… Jaebeom! Jaebeom!”

His head hurt so bad. He needed silence. The noise was making his head hurt even more. 

“Jaebeom!”

_ Oh, it’s Jinyoung’s voice. Did something happen? _

Jaebeom fluttered his eyes open to Jinyoung’s worried face. He wanted to change that. He didn’t want to see him sad. 

_ Did I faint again? _

Jaebeom blinked slowly and his sight cleared. He felt his back against something hard, and he was nearly blinded by the brightness of the Christmas lights over them. He was still sitting on the bench and Jinyoung’s hands were on his shoulders. 

_ I didn’t even drink this time… _

“Jaebeom, are you alright? You fainted!” Jinyoung asked, looking distressed. Jaebeom wanted to cup his cheek to reassure him, but he wasn’t sure if he should. Would that be overstepping the boundaries of whatever it was they had?

“I don’t know… I had a headache and then I felt dizzy...” Jaebeom put his hands to his face and then ran them through his hair. 

“Do you need to go to the hospital? We don’t mind going with you…” Jinyoung said, tightening his grip on his shoulders. Jaebeom couldn’t help himself any longer, and raised his hand to Jinyoung’s cheek. He wanted to go back in time. He didn’t want this night to be ruined as well. 

“There’s no need,” Jaebeom said. “I think it’s just a stupid migraine.”

“Are you sure? It was brief, but… You were about to faint, just like last time… I was scared…”

“I’m sure. Seriously, I don’t want to ruin this night, too…” Jaebeom brushed his thumb softly on Jinyoung’s cheek. 

“You aren’t ruining it, hyung. Don’t say that... But-” Jinyoung began to say. 

“No ‘buts’... Trust me, alright?” 

Jinyoung couldn’t explain why but, at that moment, he felt his distress starting to dissolve as Jaebeom rubbed his cheek and smiled softly at him. He felt calmer. He wasn’t even aware that Jackson and Yugyeom were with them. 

“Do you trust me?”

Jinyoung couldn’t help it. 

He nodded.

***

Jaebeom knew he was just sweeping it under the rug, but he really didn’t want to think about the dizziness and the headache at that moment. After the trip, he would have enough time to process how scared he had been. Now, he just wanted to focus on living the present, on letting himself admire the magic of the Christmas Market, and on enjoying everything with the others. 

After he’d recovered, they’d had nonstop fun running through the market and exploring all the stands. There were a lot of things to try, and he felt full to bursting, but there was no end, no time to stop. It was impossible to exhaust Jackson and Yugyeom, it seemed. But he needed to catch his breath before moving on to the next adventure. Jinyoung was obviously still worried and that made his heart pound… and ache. It was as if he could feel Jinyoung’s concern, but that couldn’t be possible. And he just didn’t want him to worry, so he smiled and suggested heading to the shooting galleries. 

Once there, Jinyoung readied himself to show his hidden talent, while Jackson and Yugyeom sung a song about how powerful their friend was. He could defeat ogres and all types of beasts. He was the prince to the princess. 

Well, the prince to another  _ prince _ , as Yugyeom, with a mischievous smile, clarified. Jaebeom just laughed. Jinyoung ignored them.

"They're always like this. You get used to it," he whispered.

"They're amazing."

Jinyoung smiled a bit before preparing to shoot. His pose was perfect, his body leaning forward, the gun aimed perfectly at the prize he wanted. His legs were flexed slightly, and he shut one eye to look through the peephole. Jaebeom was mesmerized by him as he aimed at his target: the dartboard. 

And then he shot…

It hit the bullseye, a perfect shot winning the highest score.

Jinyoung smiled and selected his prize. He chose a black, cuddly stuffed cat, with beautiful eyes as blue as the sea. And then, slightly blushing, he gave it to Jaebeom.

"I hope you like it," he said, softly.

“I… I love it.”

He really did. Cats were his favorite animals, no matter the color or pedigree. They were just perfect: independent, elegant, loving. Jaebeom really identified with their nature. Sometimes suspicious, but always giving their all when it came time to open their hearts. 

Unless they got hurt. 

Jaebeom took the gun. He wanted to win another prize for Jinyoung, but he wasn’t as skilled. He failed at least five times before he was finally able to win something, and even though it wasn’t as lovely and big of a stuffed toy, it was still something beautiful: a keychain with a little dog. 

“It isn’t as remarkable as your gift, but… well, let’s just say I’m not that good,” Jaebeom said. 

Jinyoung took it and grasped it tightly, all of a sudden thrilled. But his emotional moment was cut short by Jackson. 

“I think it’s time for us to leave you two alone! Why don’t you try the Ferris wheel while Yugyeom and I go find some food? It would be so romantic, especially since it’s getting darker…” His eyes were almost glowing. “Yugyeom?” he added. But the guy didn’t answer. He seemed distracted by something close by. “What are you looking at?”

“Isn’t that… your friend, Jaebeom hyung?” 

He pointed at someone. 

_ Oh, shit. _

Bambam. There he was, wearing sunglasses and a cap to hide his hair, despite being so hopelessly recognizable. He realized, at that moment, that Jaebeom and the others had caught him. And that was no good. Jaebeom frowned, but he didn’t have time to react as Yugyeom, stepping firmly, approached him in the blink of an eye. 

“What are you doing following us?”

“I’m not following you, monster,” Bambam answered. “I’m looking after my friend to make sure you don’t harm him.”

“As if we would hurt him.” Yugyeom rolled his eyes. 

Bambam, annoyed, pointed at him. “You hurt people. You always do.”

They glared at each other like two felines about to attack. Bambam couldn’t control himself, not anymore. Jaebeom’s life was on the line, right? He needed to protect him. He was one of his best friends and he couldn’t turn a blind eye as he was captured by them. 

By  _ vampires _ .

And that was the moment when the truth began to reveal itself. 

His eyes changed. 

They were purple, just for a second… but enough for Jaebeom to see them clearly this time. 

_ So some things weren’t just drunken hallucinations… _

“Your eyes,” Yugyeom said, loud enough for the others to hear him. “You’re a warlock.”

_ A what _ ?

“Bambam, stop…” Youngjae said, worried about his friend. “What are you doing?” He didn’t understand what was happening. He couldn’t understand Bambam’s eyes, either. And… why was his head feeling so heavy, as if he had forgotten something important?

“Guys, this isn’t the place, nor the time,” a man with gradient purple hair interjected, appearing suddenly out of nowhere. “I’ll give you free tickets for the Ferris wheel, so stop. You can’t fight in front of your friends, right?”

They looked at him, surprised. He was smiling, holding out some tickets. Who the hell was he?


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here we go again! this chapter is pretty special for us... it reveals a lot of really important information for the plot! we had so many ups and downs writing it, so many smiles and emotions while planning it... we hope you enjoy and like it! and if you have time, tell us what you think of the story so far! thank you for reading, this story would be nothing without you, and thanks again to lore an varichina ❤!

Jaebeom was sitting on the bed, the room completely dark save for the moonlight filtering through the big windows in front of him, and the light of his phone. 

_Bambam?_

_Bambam are you ok?_

_What happened?_

_Please answer me._

He was reading through the last thread of messages he had sent to Bambam, waiting for a response that wasn’t sure would ever come. How could everything turn into a mess so quickly?

_I need to talk to you._

He needed answers. 

After their encounter by the shooting galleries, Bambam had left quickly with a very confused Youngjae in tow, looking back at him apologetically. He left before Jaebeom could even ask for an explanation. Not that he would have been able to do it anyways due to the shock. He didn’t want to be there anymore. He couldn’t enjoy the rides after that. He told Jinyoung that he was feeling unwell, maybe the lingering effects of headache and dizziness. Jinyoung understood and they all went back home. There, Jinyoung again insisted on accompanying him to the hospital. “Don’t worry Jinyoung. I’m fine,” he had said, a tired smile on his face. “I’m just tired. I just need to be alone.” Jinyoung understood. Of course he understood. He couldn’t forget the first thing he saw when he regained consciousness. How Jinyoung’s face dropped. How he looked so deeply horrified. 

However, now that he was all on his own, he couldn’t stop overthinking. About how he supposedly fainted. And above all…

Bambam.

A **warlock**? What was that supposed to mean?

While he was waiting for Bambam’s response, Jaebeom couldn’t help but google it. A Wikipedia entry, fandom wikis, forums and blogs were the top results. Nothing that could really provide him enough evidence. Something he could really trust. 

Jaebeom sighed. 

Moreover, there was an unanswered question still nagging at the back of his mind. If there was a possibility that Bambam could be a warlock, then…

Jinyoung…

Could it be possible…?

Suddenly his phone rang, startling him. His heart was about to jump out of his chest. Who could it be? 

Jaebeom looked at the screen and his eyes widened in shock when he saw the ID of the incoming call. 

“Yes?”

On the other side of the line Jaebeom heard noise and… Maybe the voice of his friends? 

“Yes?”

_“Bambam, for fucks sake, stop being a child!”_ Jaebeom heard Youngjae’s voice. 

_“I don’t want to…!”_ Bambam replied.

_“Bambam! I’m going to shove this phone down…!”_

_“You wouldn’t be able…”_ Bambam replied with a disgusted voice. _“Ew! Hyung, you’re so disgusting.”_

_“Okay, I’m going to throw it!”_

Jaebeom listened to his friends' efforts, as if they were wrestling. Jaebeom felt nostalgic. He missed his friends. He missed the time when things weren’t that complicated. 

Suddenly, silence. 

“Hello?” Jaebeom asked, afraid that the call had ended. That he wouldn’t have the chance to sort things out with Bambam. 

_“Jaebeom hyung?”_ Jaebeom heard on the other side of the line. He felt some of the tension leaving him. 

“Bambam?”

He heard the other taking a deep breath. The silence was overwhelming. He really hoped that the other would start the conversation, because he didn’t even know what to say. 

_“Are you home? With them?”_ Jaebeom could sense the bitterness in his words, but he could also hear worry. 

“Yes… We arrived a few minutes ago... “

Bambam sighed. 

_“Be careful, hyung.”_

Jaebeom was confused. Why was Bambam so opposed to his new acquaintances? Why was he behaving the way he was? Ever since he first met Bambam, he had been the most chill and carefree young man on the face of the planet. He would even say that he saw some resemblance between Jackson and Bambam. Both of them were serious extroverts and could make new friendships easily. They were instantly loved by the people they met. Bambam put Jaebeom at ease, a peaceful energy. 

Why had he changed so much?

Once again, he missed when things weren’t so complicated.

“Why? Why should I?”

_“I can’t tell you.”_ A pause. _“Trust me.”_

“If you can’t tell me, how can I trust you? You and Youngjae were the ones who told me to use the app in the first place… You wanted me to meet Jinyoung. What changed? Do you know them?”

_“No… Not directly…”_

“So how can you say those things without knowing them? I don’t understand, Bambam…” Jaebeom laughed nervously. “I like him. He makes me happy, Bambam. I want to-”

_“Oh God…”_ Bambam sighed. He sensed worry in his voice. _“Don’t continue, I don’t want to know.”_

“What’s wrong with it? He’s good to me. We like each other… You’re my friend… You should be happy that I’m happy, right?”

_“Look… I wish you to be happy. But… “_

“But?”

_“Stay away from Jinyoung. Stay away from_ **_them_ ** . _That’s the only thing I can tell you.”_

Before he could catch himself, it slipped out his mouth. 

“Can you tell me then why your eyes turned purple, both at the party and when I saw you today?”

Bambam cursed. 

Silence. 

“Can you?”

_“I can’t. Believe me or not, I only want to protect you. But if you don’t want my help, you’ll be on your own.”_

He didn’t understand. He couldn’t understand. His confusion was beginning to turn to anger. He felt betrayed. What was so complex that his friend couldn’t explain? Why was Bambam asking him to trust him if he couldn’t trust him in return? 

_“Good luck, hyung. I hope I’m wrong. I hope it works for you in the end.”_

That was too cruel. 

_“Goodbye.”_

Silence.

***

Jaebeom hadn't slept that much when he finally decided to get up. He watched the lingering dawn sitting on the bed, a beautiful medley of colors and birds singing, and he sat there for almost an hour trying to figure out how he was feeling.

Betrayed. In pain. Worried. His head and heart were a mess of feelings he couldn't he didn’t know how to resolve. He needed answers. Why couldn't Bambam tell him what was going on? Jaebeom tried to come up with some explanation while showering, but it was impossible. He was only driving himself crazy.

He sighed. Maybe…

He dressed quickly and left the bedroom to head to the dining room. But as soon as he reached the main staircase, a voice called his name.

"Jaebeom hyung." It was Jackson, looking at him with a smile on his face. "Good morning! Did you sleep well?"

"More or less…" he answered. "The room is incredible. Thank you."

"No need to thank me." Jackson grinned. "Jinyoung and Yugyeom will come back anytime soon. They decided we didn’t have enough food for breakfast and they want you to try these delicious handmade croissants that they sell in town."

"Oh, but they didn't have to…"

"Don't worry! I've prepared coffee, though." He winked and guided Jaebeom to the dining room. 

It was a big room, with a table with seats for about twenty people. There were pictures and paintings on the wall, most of them seemingly really old. Jaebeom couldn't help but admire the quality of each frame, all made in detail and mastery of the different painting techniques.

It seemed like a personal paradise for those who loved art.

"Most of these were painted by family and friends. Others are gifts," Jackson explained.

"They're good." 

Jaebeom lost himself looking at one image in particular. It reminded him of an impressionist painting because of the color and its use, but what caught his attention the most was the figure. It seemed like a man with a hand covering one eye. And the other…

_Purple_.

The same color as Bambam's eyes. 

"Jackson," Jaebeom said, almost breathless. He turned around to look at him and found him serving the coffee. "If I ask you something, will you answer me?"

"Why so serious?" Jackson exclaimed pointing at a chair. "Of course I'll answer. I always do," he added, his smile never leaving his face. 

"Yugyeom called Bambam a **warlock** ," Jaebeom said in a soft, low voice. "Why? What does it mean?"

Jackson suddenly turned serious.

"Well… you should talk to your friend. It's nothing that bad…"

"I'll do it, but please…"

"Okay." Jackson sat on a chair and sighed. "In the past centuries, few people were aware of their existence. Warlocks were seemingly normal people who practiced witchcraft. They, well, used magic, but for evil. They killed, haunted and bewitched people into doing what they wanted, and the only way to recognize them was if you saw their eyes change when they were upset. Purple eyes. That was the key."

Jaebeom looked at him, speechless. What the hell was he talking about? Those things were supposed to happen only in tales. 

"I come from a long lineage of guardians of the supernatural that were, sometimes, hunters… That's why I recognized Bambam as a warlock. And I don't have secrets between me and my friends, so Yugyeom and Jinyoung had known about this forever." He took a sip of his cup of coffee and turned to look at Jaebeom. "Some people say they've changed, and that just a few of them keep practising black and evil magic. But, you know, I think that's just a stupid story to avoid being hunted or followed."

Jaebeom was nearly shocked. Guardians of the supernatural? Hunters? Warlocks? Evil magic? Bambam? It was impossible. Bambam wouldn't even hurt a fly. How could he hurt people? It had to be a joke. A really, really incredible one. He couldn’t believe a single word Jackson had said… But his mind was still trying to find the missing piece of the puzzle, though. As if there was some truth hidden in that imaginative story.

"Luckily, I’m not like the ones out to hunt warlocks and other creatures. I just collect hints and information, in order to be prepared in case of danger, so obviously I’m not going to hurt your friend. I hope he does the same or… well, I’ll have to fight back.”

Jaebeom looked at him with his mouth open. "Are… you… messing with me?" he asked. It couldn't be true. “I can’t believe any of this shit.”

Jackson sighed dramatically. "I know it sounds crazy, but it's true. You saw his eyes. He's a warlock."

But Bambam had always helped him. When he was feeling bad, he always comforted him. Sometimes, even with some relaxing…

_Beverages. Shit._

“It could be an optical illusion, because of the lights at the market,” he responded. 

“I thought you might say that.” Jackson stood up and grabbed his coffee. “Come with me. I have proof.”

Jaebeom had never been more shocked in his whole life. But he didn’t hesitate. He needed answers and he wouldn’t lose the opportunity to get them. He followed Jackson upstairs, to the side of the mansion opposite to his own room. After a while, they stopped in front of a double door decorated with gold inlay. 

The library.

It was an amazing place, full of books with a large window that overlooked the gardens. Jackson turned to the right, where there was a big table. Behind the table, Jaebeom saw a smaller shelf, different and less luxurious from the others in the library, where some old books, photo albums and a few boxes remained. Jackson took one of the boxes and looked for something in the middle of an endless number of pictures. 

“Here it is,” he said, finally. He handed a picture to Jaebeom, depicting five people. “There, on the left side, you can see my great-great-great-grandfather. He looks just like me, don’t you think?” 

A small lie wouldn’t hurt. Yeah, it looked like Jackson’s copy with another hairstyle and different clothes, except it actually was Jackson, a long time ago and in another life. But Jaebeom didn’t need to know.

“And this one,” he added while pointing at the person at the right side of the picture. “He’s Bambam’s ancestor. I didn't see their similarities at first, but Bambam looked familiar. That's why."

Jaebeom was startled. They were obviously related by blood. They were almost identical.

"It's not possible…" he whispered.

But it was. 

"This is from a time when we had a truce," Jackson explained. "The picture was taken to commemorate that moment, but that deal expired a few decades ago. And then, this."

Jackson handed him a bunch of newspaper clippings. All of them were about the same topic: strange things that had happened in different places, varying distances from their homes. 

_Supernatural things?_

Jaebeom tried to process all the information. It might be true. One of his best friends might actually be… a warlock. 

"Let's say it's true," he said in a low voice. "Bambam has never done anything bad. He's a good guy."

"Just keep an eye on him," the other replied.

"How… do you do it? The hunting…" Jaebeom couldn't help but ask. Curiosity killed the cat, they said. 

"Oh, come." Jackson put everything back in its place and then guided him outside the library, to another room that was all locked up. He took a key from under an antique vessel and opened the door.

Jaebeom freaked out.

He was looking into a huge room that was like some sort of museum for horror relics. There was a wide assortment of weapons, each one scarier than the one before it. Some were really old, others more recent. Rifles, axes, crossbows, sables, ropes… He didn't even know the names of some of them. They were hanging on the walls, or displayed in cases, and Jaebeom even saw illustrations depicting how to _torture_ someone.

"Holy shit," he said.

"Yeah, more or less." Jackson laughed. He knew it was impressive to see something like that. "You needed proof and here it is. Bambam is a warlock… do you believe it now?"

Suddenly, before Jaebeom could say anything else, someone appeared from behind and a moment later Yugyeom was by side.

"He’s a warlock, hyung, believe me! I have a sixth sense that allows me to see such things," he said while putting both his index fingers on his temples, as if somehow he could control everything with his mind. 

Jaebeom couldn't help but laugh just a bit. Even if it was something serious, Yugyeom was adorable and helped lighten the mood. 

"Don't think about it now, hyung. We're here to get away from our daily routines." Jinyoung put a warm hand over his shoulder and gave Jackson a look of accusation. "Come, we have these delicious croissants. They taste like heaven."

Jaebeom nodded, but deep down he knew it would be impossible to truly disconnect. It wasn’t something he could get out of his mind that easily. But he didn’t want to disturb them with his thoughts as Jackson had already explained quite a bit. He took one last look at the _museum_ room and let Jackson lock it up. 

He would have plenty of time to think and prepare questions later, but for the moment he really shouldn’t worry them.

The seed of the doubt hadn't just been planted: it had started to sprout.

***

The end of the year had a bittersweet flavor. 

They had a silent agreement not to mention the conflict with Bambam. Jackson didn’t bring up their conversation. No guardians of the supernatural, supernatural beings, warlocks or Bambam. Jaebeom was still trying to process all of the new information that had turned his understanding of reality on its head. It was as if another Big Bang had created a new universe. He needed time to accept and fully understand the fact that there was a hidden reality that he didn’t know of. 

Despite the bad ending of their first visit to the Christmas Market, Jackson proposed to spend New Year’s Eve visiting the city centre. Even though Jaebeom had self-consciously admitted to Jackson that he couldn’t afford it, the group had dinner in one of the most expensive restaurants in town. Jaebeom didn’t know how, but Jackson had ended up convincing him, saying that he wanted to apologize for the terrible outcome of their first meetings and he wanted that night to turn out well. “For this unforgettable night,” Jackson had said before all of them made a toast. 

After that, Jackson mentioned that it would be such a waste if they didn’t use the tickets that the “handsome young man” had given to them. Jaebeom smiled and started to suspect why he insisted on going back there to celebrate the end of the year. “He likes him,” Jinyoung whispered into his ear and chuckled softly, as Jackson was so eager to talk to the mysterious violet haired man that looked otherworldly. He could even pass as an elf. 

“Hey, guys! This is Mark,” Jackson introduced the rest of the group and they all shook hands. “Now that the countdown is near, we were just talking about spending the last minutes of the year on the Ferris Wheel. The owner said that there would be no problem and that Mark can join us. What do you think?”

They all agreed. Honestly, who could deny an invitation from Jackson Wang when he was brimming with excitement? 

Of course, Jackson had a plan concerning who rode with who. Yugyeom, Jackson and Mark ended up in the same car, and Jinyoung and Jaebeom ended up alone in another.

Jaebeom’s heart jumped when the Ferris wheel started moving. He would be alone with Jinyoung during the last moments of that year. He wasn’t sure how to function. 

“Would you like to play a game?” Jaebeom didn’t realize that he was so nervous that he wasn’t even looking at him. When he moved his head, he was struck by Jinyoung’s beauty. He was wearing just a caramel colored suit and a beige turtleneck that put Jaebeom’s green coat and simple blue turtleneck sweater to shame. “Jaebeom?”

Had he just zoned out looking at him?

“Yes?”

“What if we act as if this was our first date?” Jaebeom felt vertigo—and not from the movement of the Ferris wheel. Jinyoung put a hand on his thigh while looking at him, excited. “We definitely didn’t have a good beginning and I owe you.”

“Jinyoung… You don’t owe me any-” Jinyoung put a finger on his lips and Jaebeom felt his ears turn red. 

“Shhh…” Jaebeom felt like that night at the party. As if Jinyoung had made the whole universe disappear. Jaebeom was speechless. Thoughtless. _Jinyoung. Jinyoung. Jinyoung._ He could only think about Jinyoung. “I want to spend the last moments of the year without worry. Only you and me. What’s wrong with that?” He put his finger down.

Jaebeom gasped like a fish out of water, unable to connect his brain to his mouth. 

_Get a grip, Jaebeom_.

“So… What do you want to do?” Jaebeom asked, trying to stop his voice from trembling. 

“Ask the typical questions you might ask during a first date.” Jinyoung’s eyes sparkled with contagious excitement. “Okay, I’ll go first! How did you know?”

“How did I know what?” Jaebeom was confused. 

“How did you know that you liked boys, and how did your parents find out? These are typical questions to ask your boyfriend-to-be on first dates, right?” Jinyoung said. 

_Boyfriend-to-be._

He felt the need to hide his face as he felt his cheeks turning crimson.

If this question had been asked during his teenage years, he would have refused to answer. It took a long time for him to come to terms with his sexuality. That he liked girls and boys. His uncle and some of his friends hadn’t helped either. 

“This is such an embarrassing story…” Jaebeom scratched the back of his head. 

“That’s what first dates are for!” Jinyoung chuckled and Jaebeom’s heart jumped. Jinyoung had the most beautiful smile in the world. 

“Okay so… This happened after my first girlfriend broke up with me. Before her I was pretty much only interested in doing just enough to pass my exams, skipping class to dance with my friends-”

“Oh, you used to dance?” Jinyoung widened his eyes in surprise.

“Yeah, some of my friends had a dance crew. We just kinda imitated what we saw and thought that we knew what we were doing. We sometimes met up to sing and stuff.”

“Really? Do you still do it?”

“Nah… I think we all outgrew that phase.” Jinyoung nodded, waiting for him to continue the story. He was a good listener. “So… yeah… Before her that was the only thing I was interested in, apart from binge reading and watching anime… Well, I still do that sometimes.” Jaebeom chuckled. “But then… You know what happens with teenagers and their hormones… We started to become aware of our bodies, our sexuality and who we were attracted to. We started to talk about girls. To date. I remember that when I started dating her, my friends could only talk about how sappy and gross I’d become.” Jaebeom chuckled. “I think they were even relieved when we broke up… Those bastards…”

“So what happened later?”

“Basically, I spent more time with my friends again and we just did the things we used to do. One day, we were dancing and trying out acrobatics, but we were far from professional so an accident was bound to happen. That day, I did a bad move and I almost fell. Luckily enough, my best friend was there to catch me and stop me from hurting my head.”

“That sounds really scary!”

“I was completely unaware. Meanwhile, he was holding me and touching me to check if I was alright, and I was freaking out! At that time I just… Didn’t pay much attention to it. I wasn’t aware of it. But somehow, it was as if someone had flipped a switch. Even if I didn’t know what it was at that moment. Then, the same thing would happen every time we touched our thighs playing video games, every time we hugged… That tension… Was there. I was attracted to my best friend and I didn’t realize it.”

“So how did it end?”

“I couldn’t talk about it with my family and I couldn’t tell my friends from school. I was scared of being judged and of what might follow. So I spoke about it with my ex.”

“With your ex?” Jinyoung was confused.

“Yup.” Jaebeom chuckled. “We weren’t made for each other and I thought we had outgrown our relationship but… We broke up on good terms. She was the one who made me realize what was happening. Crazy, right?”

“So what happened later?”

“I confessed to my best friend and he just rejected me.”

“I’m sorry…”

“Don’t be… we stayed friends. Some of my other friends from high school can’t relate.” Jaebeom sighed. 

“And how did you tell your parents?” Jinyoung asked. 

Jaebeom cursed internally. He knew that this might come up at some point in the conversation. He would never be fully ready to talk about it. He hated the looks of pity he got whenever he spoke about his parents. About his past. So he always kept that part of him locked away. Not because he was still healing. While it still stung, his heart still aching when he thought about them, it was the reactions from other people that made him the most uncomfortable. 

But there was something in the warm chocolate of Jinyoung’s eyes that made him trust him. That made that unease and tension dissipate. 

“I…” Jaebeom cleared his throat and looked down, focusing on the ring around one of his fingers. “My parents are dead, Jinyoung.”

The dreaded silence fell upon them. 

_Please, say something._

Jaebeom sensed Jinyoung’s hand on his shoulders and he raised his head. He was surprised by what he found there. There wasn’t any pretense of pity. Jinyoung’s eyes shimmered with a mix of sadness and understanding. Empathy that comes from a shared experience. It made Jaebeom wonder if Jinyoung had gone through that as well. Something that he may never know because he wouldn’t ever dare to ask. 

“I’m sorry…”

“It’s okay…” Jaebeom touched Jinyoung’s hand and smiled at him. “That happened a long time ago, anyways…" He didn’t want to let the conversation die. They deserved that moment. That first date. “What about you? How did you know?”

Jinyoung’s eyes looked unfocused, as if he wasn’t really seeing him. His lips curled into a small smile. A nostalgic smile. 

“He was my first best friend.”

A key turning in a lock and opening a rusty old box, full of painful memories.

“He was also my first love.”

Suddenly the Ferris wheel stopped moving, just as the weight of Jinyoung’s words seemed to stop time. 

Jinyoung looked at him, returning to the present. He furrowed his brows, trying to remember. But as it always happened, he couldn’t remember his face, nor the whole story. How could he grasp the full meaning of the fragments remaining in his memory and translate them to Jaebeom into a coherent story? How could he retell when he couldn’t even remember?

“I don’t remember the exact moment when I knew that I had fallen in love with him. I guess… I guess everything just flowed naturally. He was really different from me, but at the same time, we clicked. He was from a different world-”

“In what sense?” 

“He… He was from a wealthy family while mine was poor. My mom worked for them as a housekeeper. His family was really kind, and I was allowed to be in their house until she finished work when I was a child. That’s how I met him.”

It wasn’t the whole truth. 

Well, he didn’t even remember it. 

“He was really passionate. When he found something that sparked his interest, he would pursue it until the very end. But, above all, he had a kind heart. He used to help me with my homework, and he would lend me his books because my family couldn’t afford them. However, what I liked the most was when we spent the evenings together and he would read to me.”

“Did you confess to him?” Jaebeom asked.

Jinyoung failed to grasp the exact moments. The details. He only perceived the afterthought of a feeling. 

“When we got older it got… complicated. I felt something different. Attraction. Love. But it was difficult for him to accept that. Maybe not only for himself, but for his family. He was the heir of an empire. It would be a scandal. But as I’ve said, when he got passionate about something, he would fight for it until the very end. You can call it perseverance… Or being obstinate. When he came to terms with it he gave his all for our relationship. For me... And it was really beautiful.”

Jinyoung tried to swallow around the knot that had formed in his throat. He tried to fight the feelings that were on the verge of overwhelming him.

“How did it end?”

Jinyoung couldn’t remember his face. But he also couldn’t erase that memory that had haunted him his entire life. 

“I…”

A fragment of a memory that hurt like a phantom pain. 

“I can’t tell you… Sorry.” Jinyoung’s voice broke at the end of the sentence. He felt like he was losing himself in a black hole of broken memories.

Jaebeom couldn’t help but put his hands on Jinyoung’s shoulders, anchoring him back in reality. In Jaebeom’s eyes Jinyoung saw empathy, warmth and a sense of security he had long forgotten. Maybe he could have a second chance, with Jaebeom. Perhaps he could allow himself to forget that he was cursed in the limbo between the death of the old year and the birth of a new one. For a brief instant.

“It’s okay.”

Suddenly the loud noise of fireworks startled them out of their conversation. Hanging at the highest point of the Ferris wheel, they welcomed the New Year. 

Jinyoung hadn’t felt so alive in a long time. If that was even possible.

The fireworks painted the black sky like a canvas, explosions of colors and shooting stars. A supernova before the creation of a new star. They could hear loud cheers for the new year. Jaebeom and Jinyoung sat in the middle of all of that, feeling like mere observers and main characters at the same time. 

They looked at each other. Jaebeom’s skin was a blank paper, painted by the reflection of colors from the fireworks. However, his eyes shined on their own. They were shining with love, only for Jinyoung.

Jinyoung felt like his dead heart could burst at any moment. 

Jinyoung put his hands on Jaebeom’s face and kissed him, sealing his lips with his own. Jaebeom reacted immediately, opening his mouth to give him better access as he moved his hands down, burning the skin of Jinyoung’s back with his touch. This kiss had a different flavor from the first one. At the party it tasted tentative, but this one felt like a decision. 

There was nothing more cliché than a kiss on New Year’s Eve, but Jaebeom couldn’t care less. He felt only the laws of nature as he held Jinyoung firmly in his arms, wanting to pull him even closer. It wasn’t enough. Even if he was running out of breath. He didn’t care. He wanted more. He needed to meld with Jinyoung. 

Jinyoung pulled his hair to go deeper and Jaebeom moaned. They communicated through a language of frantic caresses, and the passionate movements of their lips. 

The movement of Jinyoung’s tongue in his mouth was desperate, trying to go deeper. As if he was trying to drink from him. Like a thirsty man, tasting his first drop of water after suffering the drought of the desert. As if his life force depended on Jaebeom. 

Suddenly, Jinyoung stopped. Jaebeom didn’t realize until that moment that his eyes had closed. His senses were amplified. He could feel Jinyoung’s hands on his shoulders. He could hear his frantic breath. He could even sense his desperation. 

Jaebeom opened his eyes. 

He saw tears running down Jinyoung’s eyes.

At that sight, Jaebeom felt himself break. It hurt. A lot. He couldn't stop himself from caressing Jinyoung's cheeks in an attempt to erase the pain, at least for a bit.

"I'm sorry that I made you remember…" Jaebeom said in a whisper.

Jinyoung took one of his hands and gave it a little kiss.

"No." He took a deep breath, his eyes still shining because of the tears. He looked at the sky for a few seconds. Then, he took both of Jaebeom's hands in his and tried to focus on their warmth. Jaebeom deserved to know. "He… he died."

Jaebeom's eyes widened. Words weren't needed for him to understand Jinyoung's broken heart. 

_He died._

***

While riding back to the mansion, Jackson and Yugyeom talked together nonstop about the Christmas Market. The former was absolutely fascinated by Mark, the guy from the Ferris wheel, and the latter was completely obsessed with the special choco shake topped with chopped nuts that he’d gotten to try.

Jaebeom and Jinyoung, sitting together in the back seat, said nothing. They were holding hands in the dark, unbeknownst to Jinyoung’s friends. They just wanted to feel each other's warmth, to be each other's anchor. 

They felt understood.

They weren’t sure at what moment Jackson and Yugyeom had said goodbye when they arrived back at the mansion, but it didn't matter. They went upstairs together, their hands still tangled.

To the same room.

That night, they would share it.

When they arrived, Jinyoung kissed his hand and released it. Jaebeom looked at him, a chill running through his fingers. He saw Jinyoung’s small, sad smile. He looked into his eyes, still shining.

He wanted to kiss him, to make him forget about the rest of the world. He wanted Jinyoung to be happy.

"I'll be back in a minute," Jinyoung said. He touched Jaebeom's cheek, a caress full of promising sensations. "Don't fall asleep," he added, his voice getting deeper. 

"Where are you going?" Jaebeom asked.

"I'm going to… talk to the staff," he said, hesitantly. "To make sure no one… disturbs us tomorrow, while we… sleep."

Jaebeom nodded.

"I'll take a shower in the meantime."

They both knew it was an invitation. When their eyes met, it was clear that tonight was going to be special. Jinyoung approached him and, without hesitation, pressed his lips against the corner of Jaebeom's mouth. 

He was burning.

Jaebeom was on fire, too.

Jinyoung left quickly. He needed to control himself. He couldn't let the need take over him.

Jaebeom watched him run off and entered the room, suddenly nervous. How long had it been since his last relationship? He couldn't remember it clearly, but there was one thing he knew for sure.

Even if this wasn't his first time… it felt like it. There was the same nervousness. His skin was burning. His heart had started pounding. His lips were getting dry, his lower body reacting.

He'd never felt like that. Never.

_These stupid insecurities._

He hurried to the big shower—luxurious, made of grey tiles with a sliding door—and took off his clothes before stepping in. Warm water washed down his body. All of his senses were awakening, awaiting. 

He'd shared one of his most important secrets with Jinyoung, one that almost no one else knew, and it had felt right, like they were meant to know the darkest sides of each other.

As if it was destiny.

Jaebeom didn't expect that Jinyoung would come back as fast as he did. He hadn't even finished showering when he heard the door opening.

He turned around and looked at Jinyoung. The jacket of the caramel suit was gone—he was only wearing the beige turtleneck and his trousers, no shoes left. He looked tousled to perfection.

They looked at each other, the steam from the shower surrounding them. Jinyoung caressed Jaebeom's body with his gaze, touching every single spot. 

"You're breathtaking," he said, his deep voice sending chills down Jaebeom's spine.

"So says the Beauty," Jaebeom answered. Since when was it so hard to breathe?

"Well, they say the Beast turns out to be pretty when he finds true love. I think you’re passed that stage."

Jinyoung stepped just a bit closer, as if he was waiting for permission. 

Jaebeom nodded. 

"Come," he whispered, unable to say anything else. Unable to breathe. Unable to control himself anymore.

Jinyoung closed the distance between them and opened the narrow, glass door. It didn't matter that he was still dressed. He wanted it. Right there, that way. No more waiting.

It was the first time in years—no, centuries—he felt like that, as if the two of them were the only people in the world that mattered. He felt alive. He'd told Jaebeom one of his most painful memories and he hadn't run away. No. He'd stayed by his side. His response was warm and understanding. 

Could he be the one to heal his broken, undead heart?

Under the stream of water, Jaebeom met his gaze. He felt Jinyoung raising his hand to caress his nape intimately. He saw how the clothes were sticking to Jinyoung’s body, sinking to the lines of his lean muscles, and was even more aware of his own state of undress. Jinyoung smiled.

And everything exploded.

Their mouths closed the distance between them, and they melted into a brazen kiss, a voracious hunger breaking through their bodies to devour them both mercilessly. They wanted to drink from each other, and they couldn’t care less about the water, the tile wall or the shower screens. They just wanted to feel close, as much as they could, in a wild dance towards the madness of passion. Their tongues met again, hot and wet, but it wasn't enough.

Jinyoung’s hand was still on Jaebeom's nape, caressing him almost erotically now with his teasing fingers. The other hand was now resting on his waist, dangerously close to his hip. 

Jaebeom couldn’t help but moan against Jinyoung’s desperate mouth. He couldn’t recall when his own hands had gone to Jinyoung’s ass, just to pull him even closer, drawing out a moan from him, too. He wanted to feel him against his skin. His clothes were an obstacle he needed to get rid of, so he started to reach up to undress him. Jinyoung, with a satisfied growl, helped him remove his turtleneck, but when that was done, he had plans. 

Interesting ones. 

Jaebeom didn’t get the chance to even look at him. Jinyoung, biting his lip, moved his head closer to his neck and inhaled his scent. _Sexy_ was the only word his mind whispered before Jinyoung started to kiss down his neck. He opened his mouth and exhaled heavily, and as soon as Jinyoung bit down his Adam’s apple, he knew he was lost in pleasure. 

Absolutely.

Jinyoung kept going down, and down, and down. He pinched one of Jaebeom’s nipples and bit the other, prisoner of an unavoidable passion. When he got to his navel, he licked the skin around it and looked up to find Jaebeom’s eyes filled with desire. He smiled and moved his hand to his erection. 

Jaebeom closed his eyes and moaned. He leaned back, unable to focus on anything but Jinyoung's fingers caressing his hot, hard flesh. He clenched his fists against the wall, aching for Jinyoung to stand up and kiss him, bite him, lay him on the bed… To do anything he could ever imagine, even things he'd never tried before.

He wanted to do it all with Jinyoung.

He almost lost his mind when he felt Jinyoung's tongue touch the head of his cock. All he could do was to buck his hips forward, begging for more. He wanted _more_ . No. He _needed_ more, like he needed oxygen. At that moment, Jinyoung was his air, his water, his medecine… His _everything_. When Jinyoung finally closed his lips around his flesh, his tongue licking back and forth in a slow, tortuous rhythm, Jaebeom felt like he could touch the sky. It was perfection.

How good he was, indeed.

Desperate, he grasped at Jinyoung's hair weakly. He wasn't sure how long he would last if he kept it up. It had been a long time since the last time Jaebeom had sex, and his body could barely handle the incredible pleasure Jinyoung was giving him. No. Before coming, Jaebeom wanted to return that pleasure. He wanted to touch him. 

Shit. Who was he trying to fool?

He wanted to be _inside him_. To feel his tight heat around him. To lick down his back while thrusting inside him. To caress his cock until they both came, breathless.

"Stop," he whispered, his hands still sliding through his hair. "I… I won't last long and I don’t want it like this." He tried to catch his breath, opening his eyes to look at Jinyoung.

Jinyoung brushed against balls, mischievously, and then pulled off his hard member with one last lick that sent shivers through Jaebeom's body. He smiled. 

Oh. How Jaebeom liked him that way.

Jaebeom tugged at his hair to pull him up and close the distance between their bodies. He didn't waste any time kissing him, biting at his lips and fumbling with Jinyoung's belt. He needed to touch him right now. Their mouths were dancing, tongues twisting together, and he felt Jinyoung move his hands up to help him. His trousers fell and he kicked them out of the shower. The sliding door was still wide open. 

Not that it mattered.

Jaebeom ground his hips against Jinyoung's. He could feel it, his hard member pressing against Jaebeom's, with a hunger there was only one way to sate. Jinyoung moaned, pleasure coursing through his veins, adrenaline spiking. He ran his hands down Jaebeom's muscular back, scratching and paying special attention to the bottom of the spine. He felt Jaebeom lick at his neck sensually, his hand sneaking down inside his boxers.

When Jaebeom grazed his flesh, aching with need, Jinyoung pulled back and looked Jaebeom in the eyes.

"I want you inside me." His voice was heavy with want, and Jaebeom trembled. "Now," he urged. 

"We need a condom," Jaebeom whispered, biting his earlobe.

"Behind the shampoo," Jinyoung moaned. "I'm sure-"

He was cut short as Jaebeom turned him around, looking for the condoms. The rough gesture aroused Jinyoung even more, if that was possible, and he faced the shower screen, running his hands down the warm, foggy glass. Jaebeom had taken control and he fucking loved it. He tried to pull off his boxers as Jaebeom, with a sound of surprise, found the box of condoms and tore one open.

"Special condoms for the shower?" Jaebeom whispered in his ear. His breath against his skin made Jinyoung whimper in expectation. And then Jaebeom's hands were on his thighs. "I need you," he said, pressing his hard cock into the cleft of his ass.

"Do it."

And so did he. 

Jaebeom lowered his fingers to tease at his entrance. He saw Jinyoung’s back tense in expectation, his muscles a sight to behold as he rubbed his forefinger against the door to his infinite pleasure. His finger slipped inside him, the pressure deepening his want, and Jinyoung’s gasps betrayed his pleasure when Jaebeom inserted a second digit. 

He was ready. Ready for him.

So Jaebeom lined himself up against his hole, Jinyoung couldn’t help but push back just a bit, urging him on while spreading his legs to give him better access. It was slow, the burn of need starting to dissipate as their bodies adjusted to the new sensations. When Jaebeom finally moved, their worlds fell apart, as if the universe was exploding, a supernova blinding them with pleasure, with passion, with everything. Jinyoung groaned Jaebeom’s name, asking for more, his hands sliding down the glass. Jaebeom moaned and started moving faster and faster, deep inside him. 

As they got closer to the edge, Jaebeom saw Jinyoung wrap his fingers around his own hard, burning flesh, jerking himself off. He wanted to touch him too, but they would have plenty of time for that later. He just let himself groan his name as his body shook closer to the climax. 

“I’m almost…” he panted.

“I’m coming too…” Jinyoung moaned. 

Jinyoung was the first to come, clenching around Jaebeom’s flesh. Jaebeom, now prisoner of Jinyoung’s body, started thrusting wildly. Stars burst across his vision as his climax hit. 

Their bodies were still thrumming when they finally moved apart. Still panting, they looked into each other’s eyes and Jaebeom smiled sheepishly. Jinyoung turned to him and brought his hand to his cheek. The caress was gentle, intimate. 

“There’s something I’ve been dying to do,” he said, his voice low and wobbly. “Can I?”

Jaebeom just nodded. 

What Jinyoung did took his breath away. 

He raised his hand and booped the little piercing in his nose. He smiled and it was the most beautiful smile in the world. 

“There. And now, this,” he added. Jaebeom closed his eyes as Jinyoung leaned closer to his face… But Jinyoung didn’t kiss him as he had expected. Rather, he kissed the tip of his nose, and then moved his lips to the exact point of the piercing. “I’ve wanted to do it forever.” He laughed. 

Jaebeom blushed, surprised. He started to laugh too. 

“Thank you, Jinyoung,” he said, finally, as the other reached for a washcloth. “Thank you for not pitying me for my past,” he whispered. 

“Oh, hyung,” he responded. “Thank _you_ for understanding me.”

“Always.” Jaebeom grabbed the bath gel and then looked out at the bathroom. Jinyoung’s clothes were strewn across the floor, puddles of water scattered outside the shower. He blushed again and laughed, nervous. “We made a mess… Oh.” Suddenly, he remembered something he hadn’t thought about before. “Why did you have condoms in the shower?” he almost whispered.

“Oh.” Jinyoung closed his eyes and shook his head. He sighed. “Jackson has condoms and lube everywhere around here. The drawers of the bedside tables, the wardrobe, the bathroom… I tried to get rid of everything yesterday, but it seems like he’s done it again. He always does things like this.”

“You bring a lot of guys here, then?” Jaebeom asked, suddenly afraid of his answer. 

“No. Never.” Jinyoung looked him in the eye. “But Jackson has been telling me to sleep with you ever since we met at _Blindly_. And then I invited you here. You can figure out the rest.”

Jaebeom just smiled. 

***

_Clarity._

_Jaebeom could feel warmth on his eyelids coming from the sunlight filtering through the big curtains of his room. He felt weightless, lingering in the last moments of his dreamy state._

_As he slowly woke, he noticed the caress of someone else’s breathing and the softness of someone else’s skin under his arm._

**_So it wasn’t a dream._ **

_Jaebeom’s eyes fluttered open, and he furrowed his eyebrows as the sudden light of morning blinded him. He blinked his eyes, his sight getting clearer._

_“Good morning, hyung.”_

_Jinyoung’s voice anchored him back in reality, proof that it wasn’t all a dream. His doubt and concern melted as he looked into Jinyoung’s warm chocolate eyes, framed by the eye whiskers Jaebeom loved so much._

_Jaebeom couldn’t help himself, and sealed Jinyoung’s lips with his own. Surprised, Jinyoung didn’t react immediately. He didn’t rush, they had all the time in the world. Jaebeom took his time, too, slowly moving his lips against Jinyoung’s plump ones. Jinyoung replied, ghosting his fingers across the hickey he’d sucked into Jaebeom’s shoulder, his touch electric on Jaebeom’s skin. As Jinyoung intertwined his fingers in Jaebeom’s long dark locks, Jaebeom could feel the embers of the previous night burning once again._

_Jaebeom smiled against Jinyoung’s lips._

_“Eager,” Jaebeom whispered._

_“You were the one who started it, hyung,” Jinyoung pouted, making Jaebeom want to kiss those lips once again. With a faint blush painting his soft cheeks, disheveled hair and eyes shining with happiness, Jinyoung had never looked more handsome. “We waited long enough,_ **_prince_ ** _.”_

**Prince?**

Jaebeom was caught between the dream world and the real one. 

_“Hey,_ **_Jaebeom_ ** _,” Jinyoung put his free hand on his cheek, caressing it. “Don’t worry about it. We can do this.”_

_“I’m tired of this…” Jaebeom looked down to where their naked bodies disappeared under the sheets. “Being afraid of being discovered… Of not being able to love you freely… You deserve to get married and have a family. You don’t deserve to live in the shadows…”_

_“Look at me…” Jaebeom turned his gaze and found Jinyoung’s reassuring smile. Jaebeom felt his worries melt away. Jinyoung had never looked that young before, his eyes glinting with an innocent hope and idealism. “I love you… And I want this, alright? I’d never be happy marrying and having a family just to blend in. For the sake of the rest of the world and whatever they might say about me. I don’t care.”_

Jinyoung wasn’t like that. He was more restrained. Afraid. 

“What is this?”

A sudden movement. A weight lifting. 

He felt the fantasy fading away. 

“Probably nothing.”

_“You’re my soulmate…” Jinyoung hugged him and then whispered against the skin of his shoulder. “If I was to be born again, I would choose you every time.” Jaebeom chuckled._

_“That’s nonsense.”_

Are you sure?

_“We have one life. No one can be born again… You’re so weird.”_

_“But you love me.”_

_“That’s right. I love you.”_

***

Jaebeom suddenly opened his eyes, gasping for air. 

He was drenched in sweat and his heart was beating like crazy.

_“Did I just have a nightmare?”_ he thought. 

He blinked slowly and then rubbed at his eyes with his hands. As he sat up on the bed, he felt that same dizziness and headache, like the last time he’d had…

_A vision_.

But that didn’t make any sense. The other times he had just heard voices, or perceived sensations. Never such a detailed image. But this time he had seen everything, crystal clear. He had seen Jinyoung. Not the Jinyoung he knew, the one from his dream looked different. More innocent and maybe… younger? On top of that, it looked like a scene taken out of a historical drama. 

Jaebeom felt a chill run down his spine, and his body was drenched in a cold sweat. That was probably just a dream and nothing else but… What if it _was_ something else? What if there was something wrong with him? When he returned from the trip he’d have to go to the doctor for a check-up. 

Suddenly, a sound startled him. He looked around and noticed that Jinyoung wasn’t with him in the bed, and a thin line of light was coming from the door of the bathroom. 

Another noise.

Jaebeom furrowed his brows.

Was it… a moan?

Jaebeom blushed, embarrassed, as if he’d heard something he wasn’t supposed to hear. Jinyoung was really something else. He really had a stamina out of this world. Sex with him had been intense—he remembered how Jinyoung pleaded for another round. But Jaebeom couldn't keep up. Maybe he was indeed getting old. 

_“_ Jaebeom…” As he heard Jinyoung’s voice, Jaebeom felt a faint pressure start to grow in his groin. If he didn’t want to be found, he wouldn’t have left the door ajar… Right? But it was also true that curiosity killed the cat. 

He peel his eyes away from the door. 

He was calling him. 

The moans were like the song of a siren. 

Maybe he was losing his mind, but he could swear he even felt… Hunger? The kind of deep hunger that came after going too long without having a bite to eat. A consuming, insatiable thirst like an unscratchable itch under the skin of his throat. A maddening want that overwhelmed him. 

He moved from the bed and stood up, as if possessed. Being pulled by a magnetic force, unable to resist. He was a mere planet orbiting a big star. 

He felt dread. He shouldn’t be doing this. 

But the thirst and the hunger were driving him crazy. 

Maybe Jinyoung would have answers, and that was why he was moving towards the door. 

Nothing could prepare him for what he saw when he pushed the door open. 

_No…_

_It can’t be…_

Crimson eyes were staring at him, horrified. 

The fangs…

_No…_

The splash of the blood bag against the floor of the bathroom, painting it red. The same red that painted his fangs, the plump lips he liked so much, the light color of his pajamas. A macabre art piece. Jinyoung. His Jinyoung. Reduced to a monster drenched in blood, a scene taken out of a horror story.

Jaebeom moved back, horrified. He began to feel tears in his eyes. He wanted to cry out of horror, but he felt a tension in his throat that felt as if it would snap like thin ice. 

_Really? Fangs and crimson eyes? That’s something I’d like to forget. I’d prefer to just remember that I bit you out of passion and that I looked at you with overwhelming desire. I wouldn’t want my date to be a monster._

“Jaebeom…” Jinyoung’s voice broke. He was so shocked that his eyes were still crimson, and his fangs were still out. He pitifully tried to cover his fangs as he walked towards him, the blood spilling on the floor. “Let me explain… Please… Please don’t walk away…” Tears flowed from Jinyoung’s eyes. The game was over. The time was up. He knew that this would happen eventually. It wasn’t possible to conceal such a big secret for long. But nothing could have prepared him for the heartbreak. He could never prepare himself for a future in which Jaebeom would despise him for what he was. 

_I wouldn’t want my date to be a monster._

**Liar.**

“Why?” 


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> only a few to go! thank you so much for leaving kudos and giving it a try! this is a really important chapter with a lot of emotion that we hope you enjoy! 💕💕

Nights at his part-time job were usually hard, but they were downright unbearable when there were barely any customers. The empty store meant he had no distraction, even if he was snowed under with essays and exams and, on top of that, too many other things on his mind.

In the past he had been okay with his night shift because he had always used that down time to study or work on an assignment. However, since he had come back from his trip, it had been really difficult for him to focus. 

He couldn’t stop thinking about that dreadful ending. 

Jaebeom could still see Jinyoung’s crimson’s eyes and fangs when he closed his eyes. 

He remembered how shocked he had been when he found out his true nature. All the blood spilling onto Jinyoung’s clothes and the bathroom floor. How Jinyoung had desperately tried to explain it to him. 

But he couldn’t understand. Whereas Jackson had told him about the existence of the supernatural and Bambam’s true nature, he knew that deep inside he hadn’t fully believed it. He hadn’t had the time during the Christmas trip to even begin to process that information. 

It was a completely different situation when he not only saw with his own eyes that what Jackson had told him was real, but also found out that Jinyoung had been lying to him about his true nature. He remembered the dread, the horror of finding out the truth. How he had fled before Jackson and Jinyoung could even try to give him any kind of explanation.

He knew it had been an act of cowardice, and that maybe Jinyoung deserved the chance to explain himself. But Jaebeom couldn’t handle the truth. He needed to put some distance between the two of them and think. 

Could he even trust Jinyoung at all after this? Could he even go on with whatever they had between them knowing that he was… 

_ A vampire? _

Jaebeom felt that he didn’t know him at all. Was there any truth in whatever Jinyoung had told him? 

Jaebeom built up a wall around him after the trip. His phone still pinged with new messages from Jinyoung, but he didn’t even know how to talk to him. “Hey, do you want to go out and talk about how life as a vampire is?” “Hey, do you wanna go out and drink some blood?” That wouldn’t work. His head was a mess. 

Suddenly, the door of the convenience store opened. Jaebeom blinked and rubbed his eyes, still feeling sleepy. He couldn’t wait to get home and go to sleep. Even though he’d probably end up watching anime or reading a book, as otherwise he would just end up overthinking about Jinyoung, Jackson, Bambam and the events of the trip.

“Hey, Jaebeom! What’s up?” 

The purple haired guy that Jackson had introduced to them was standing in front of him, lips turned up into a bright smile. The kind of smile a model, or maybe an actor or an idol would have. What was his name?  _ “God, this is embarrassing _ ,” he thought. 

“Mark,” he replied and then put a bag full of candy, another full of chocolate bars, some snacks and some soft drinks.  _ “Isn’t this too much sugar?” _ he thought. 

“It isn’t for gods.” He winked an eye. Jaebeom furrowed his brows.  _ “Did he read my-” _

“Yes, I can. I try not to because I don’t want to be nosy… Well, sometimes I can’t help it.” Mark smiled sheepishly. God, he was handsome. 

“What do you mean that you’re a god…?” Jaebeom looked at him in suspicion, squinting his eyes until they almost disappeared. 

“You found out about warlocks and vampires… Why wouldn’t gods exist?” Jaebeom felt dizzy. “I think that you humans still call me ‘Cupid’.” Mark made invisible quotation marks with his fingers. Jaebeom was pale as a sheet of paper, and almost collapsed back onto his chair behind the counter. “Please, don’t faint on me!”

“How can you expect me to be alright after you tell me that you’re Cupid? Do you usually do this? Going around just telling people who you are?” Jaebeom asked.

“Of course not.” Mark chuckled. “My matchmaking plans wouldn’t work otherwise.”

“Ohh, so that’s why you’re here?” Jaebeom asked. 

“I was going to talk about Jinyoung but-” 

“I’m not sure if I want to get back with him… I need time…” Jaebeom still felt lightheaded. He couldn’t believe that he was actually talking to a god. Well, there was always the possibility that Mark was fooling around. Maybe all of this was a hidden camera! A really cruel prank!

“I know… I’m not blaming you, because… That was really a lot…”

Mark was interrupted by a group of young adults that seemed a little bit too tipsy. Those were the kind of customers Jaebeom disliked the most: they were noisy and rude and, most of the time, they messed up the shelves Jaebeom had worked hard organizing. 

The god looked at them, amused. One of the girls and one of the boys were chatting and clinging to each other. It was the kind of situation where you could really sense the chemistry in the air. Jaebeom saw Mark smiling while looking at them and, suddenly, his eyes turned an intense golden color. Instantly, the pair got silent while the rest of the group joked about them being “grossly in love”. After they paid for the snacks they got, Jaebeom looked at him, furrowing his brows as if he was trying to come up with a solution for a difficult test question. 

“Did you… I saw your eyes…” Jaebeom pointed his own eyes with his fingers.

“I gave them a little push, yeah…” Mark smiled mischievously.

“Isn’t that… kind of… poking your nose where it’s not welcome?”

“Yeah.” Mark shrugged, clearly not even being sorry for it. “But I only do the match. A little help. It isn’t as if humans can’t make their own decisions about it. I sometimes fail as well.”

“Is that why you came here?” Jaebeom sat down in the chair again. He was feeling tired all of a sudden. “Did you do the same with us?”

“I did… Long time ago… But that’s a long story… Actually…” Mark showed him the screen of his phone. He saw an app he knew way too well. “I’m the creator of the dating app you guys were using. But that’s not the point…”

“Then what is it?” Jaebeom sighed. He didn’t even have the energy to argue or get angry. He just wanted the truth. 

“Are you sure you made the correct choice?”

“What do you mean?” Jaebeom asked. 

“That you won’t regret it? Leaving Jinyoung without even talking it out? Without letting him give you an explanation?” 

Of course he had thought about it. It may have been one of the reasons why he kept overthinking the Christmas trip. But Jinyoung had been unfair to him as well. 

“He lied to me… How can I trust him now?”

“Fair enough, but…” Mark picked up one of the heart-shaped lollipops he had bought and looked at it. It was an ironic, almost funny scene, considering his true identity. “Are you sure that you have been completely honest with him? And… more importantly… Are you sure that you would have acted differently if you were in his place?” 

Jaebeom didn’t know what it was like to be a vampire, how it was to live for such a long time with such a big secret. In his place… He didn’t know what he would do. It wasn’t a situation in which he could be completely honest with the other. But that didn’t lessen the hurt he felt. How betrayed he had felt at that moment.

“I’m not sure…”

“When Jackson and I met… He talked about Jinyoung. A lot. He cares deeply about him. He’s like… His big brother. They’re like family in vampire terms because of stuff they’ve been through together… You should ask him if you want to know about it… It’s really interesting.” Mark bit the red lollipop and took it out of his mouth. He looked at it, now the shape of a broken heart. Really convenient. “Jackson and I… Had a fling, or whatever you humans call it nowadays. Even when we were together, he still bit other people. That’s how vampires feed. Of course they feed from their lovers primarily, when…” Suddenly, the image of Jinyoung drinking blood from the blood bag came into his mind. He remembered the hunger and thirst. Something clicked in his mind. That would make sense. But why would he feel the same Jinyoung was feeling? His head hurt just trying to figure it out. “But Jackson told me that ever since he started dating you, he stopped doing it. Even if it’s something so natural for vampires… He stopped doing it because he felt bad biting other humans while being with you. He started feeding on blood bags and… Of course he received enough blood to survive, but it takes a lot of control to keep that diet. It’s as if you tried to go on a diet while having a big feast in front of you constantly. Only old vampires with a lot of control can endure that continuous hunger and thirst. It’s… It’s really painful, actually.” As he finished his lollipop, he threw it in the bin. “Did he… Did he bite you?”

Jaebeom suddenly felt uncomfortable. Even if he was grateful Mark was telling him so much, he felt bashful. He felt a blush creeping on his cheeks and ears. He cleared his throat. 

“No…”

“I don’t know if you have reached that point of your relationship and it’s none of my business but… if you kissed and had sex and he didn’t bite you… It really takes a lot of control not to do that, F-Y-I. Jackson even told me that blood tastes the best during orgasm and everything… Very interesting!”

Jaebeom didn’t know what to think. He was even more confused at that moment. He appreciated the effort Jinyoung had made for him and even pitied him for having to endure such a painful situation for so long. But he… He still needed time. He still wasn't sure if he would be able to forgive him. 

“I appreciate that you’re telling me this but… I still don’t… I still need time…”

“I didn’t come for an answer right now… I just…” Mark’s warm and empathic eyes looked at him, making him feel more reassured. “Think about it. Think about his situation and what you would do. About everything I’ve told you and…” Mark started scrolling on his phone and then typing. Then, suddenly, the “ping” of a new message sounded from Jaebeom’s phone. “There’s a party next week and at least Jackson will go. I don’t want to make the decision for you or anything… Just… Think about it, alright?”

Mark left after flashing him another one of his big, beautiful smiles. Jaebeom just sighed, incapable of processing all that information. It was too much to take in. However, there was one thing that had caught his attention. 

The match thing… Mark said he was the creator of the app that had paired them together, but he also said he’d set them up a long time ago. That it was a long story. Could it be… that his visions were true? At this point, he would believe almost anything without even batting an eye. 

How ridiculous…  _ right _ ? Warlocks, vampires and now, Cupid. 

Who said that he himself wasn’t, for example, some kind of  _ centaur _ ?

“Well, Jaebeom,” he said to himself, laughing frenetically. “You don’t have the body of a horse… yet.”

***

When his shift ended, Jaebeom went home. He felt tired, his head aching from trying to fit together all the pieces of the puzzle his life had become. He now believed in magical things, how could he not? Nothing seemed to be a coincidence anymore. What Mark had said was enough to make him reconsider everything.

It was obvious that Jinyoung, Jackson, Yugyeom, and even Bambam—he didn’t know if Youngjae was also involved—had been hiding things from him. After giving it a lot of thought, Jaebeom had admitted that it wasn’t something easy to confess, not when it sounded like you were crazy, talking about magical creatures and all that stuff. Nobody would have believed them. 

Secondly, well… he hadn’t been completely honest, either. He hadn’t told anyone about his emotions, nor about the visions or the frequent dizziness he’d been feeling, each time more intense and persistent. Initially, he didn’t think it was that important, just lightheadedness and voices appearing in his mind due to stress. Now, he was beginning to think that it was his past resurfacing. 

That he was, in a way, connected to Jinyoung… or at least to what seemed to be his past self. 

There was so much to consider in the picture that he didn’t know where to start. 

Bambam’s voice, though, helped him make a decision. 

Jaebeom entered the living room, where Bambam and Youngjae were talking. The former had bags under his eyes, as he hadn’t been taking care of himself the past few days. The second looked worried, hugging a cushion to his chest. Both stopped what they were saying and looked at Jaebeom as soon as he entered the room. 

“Hi, hyung… Long night?” Youngjae asked, trying to ease the tension that suddenly appeared between them.

“Yeah… you wouldn’t believe it,” he answered. Then, he hesitated, but finally sat on a chair and took in a deep breath. Starting a conversation, especially of that kind, so serious, had always been difficult for him. “I… wanted to talk to you, guys. I know the truth.”

There it was. He hoped wholeheartedly that they understood what he meant with that simple sentence. 

“You mean…” Bambam doubted. 

“I mean  **everything** .” Jaebeom looked him in the eye. “That you’re a warlock. That vampires exist. That they  _ are _ vampires.”

The silence was so strong that even a sharp sword wouldn’t have cut it. After what felt like hours, Bambam finally replied. 

“I wanted to tell you,” he said, his voice trembling, his lower lip shaking as if he was about to cry. “But it was difficult. It isn’t something easy to understand. And you, hyung… you’re very rational and all… but I also know how most humans react when they discover our existence and I was scared...”

“I wouldn’t have believed you,” Jaebeom admitted with a little, sad smile. “But now… well, I have proof. And everything fits. Warlocks, vampires...”

Bambam looked at him. Jaebeom had never seen him that worried, as if the whole world was starting to fall apart, destroying all the things he treasured. He knew, all of a sudden, that his friend may be afraid. Afraid of telling such an important secret. Afraid of losing. Afraid, in fact, of becoming an outcast, of being left behind by his friends. 

But he also knew Bambam had been worried about him and his future, being with a vampire was not an enviable fate. 

“Warlocks and vampires have a history,” Bambam whispered. “We were mortal enemies for centuries… Vampires are… Really territorial...” Bambam played with one of his rings absentmindedly as he recounted a memory from his past. “They massacred whole reigns, some of their covens were behind human wars, to gain power and influence and you know… Feeding. Humans were only tools for them. A means to an end. But that wasn’t enough for some of them.”

“What happened?” Jaebeom asked. He started to understand Bambam’s behavior. There was a reason why he had been so scared and wary when he had found out that Jinyoung was a vampire. Everything clicked.

“It’s funny how accurate some Gothic stories are, especially some stories about vampires… Considering humans didn’t know about their existence…” Bambam smiled, bitterly. “Some vampires… It wasn’t enough for them to feed on humans and have power over them. They needed to conquer it all. They killed off other creatures. They… They even…” Bambam opened his eyes, horrified. “They massacred our coven. Not many of us survived…”

“I’m sorry…” Jaebeom put a hand on Bambam’s.

“It’s not like some of us warlocks haven’t made mistakes. Not many of us cared about humans enough to protect them, like my family did… But that…” 

“Did they…” Jaebeom asked. “Jackson… And Jinyoung… I mean…”

“For centuries, I thought that all vampires were all the same… That they were monsters. That all of them were capable of that evil. But during the trip… After calling you... Wait a minute.” Bambam got up and quickly came back with what looked like an old diary. 

“What is that?” Jaebeom asked. 

“After I talked to you, I felt like I couldn’t protect you so I decided to get to know the enemy better. I visited some relatives and I asked them about Jackson. I gave them all the information I had about Jinyoung and him. My mum showed me this…” Bambam opened the diary, picked a picture out of it and showed it to Jaebeom. Jaebeom widened his eyes, surprised. “What?”

“Jackson… He showed me a really similar picture. He told me he was his great-great-great-grandfather and that the other one is… One of your ancestors?” Jaebeom took the picture and looked at the details. However, what stood out was the figure that was beside Jackson and pointed it with his finger. “Jinyoung…?”

“He’s not one of his ancestors… It’s him… When he signed the treaty with the warlocks…”

“So he didn’t lie to me about everything…” Jaebeom whispered. 

“Jackson is one of the oldest vampires… I don’t think he even remembers his origins at this point. He was probably there before humanity even learned how to record their history. But he has always been there, watching.” Bambam picked out another picture, this one featuring what looked like a painting of the Middle Ages. “He even was a royal advisor to one of the most powerful kings during that time.” Jaebeom took the picture and kept staring at it, moving his finger absentmindedly over the glossy paper. There, he saw Jackson, looking almost the same except he was wearing the clothes of that time, and his hair was long. Beside him, there was a long forgotten royal family. There was something familiar about them and the scenery. Above all, there was something strange about the prince. He felt… Weird. Something on the tip of his tongue. He furrowed his brows, thinking. The vertigo before and after the vision. Suddenly, Bambam touched the picture, bringing him back to reality. “Hyung, are you okay?”

“Yes…” Jaebeom gulped, trying to ease the tension in his throat. “Continue…”

“This is the diary of our family. Well… One of them…” Bambam said. “All the relatives that met him talk about how he loves humanity. Humans amazed him, he was fascinated by them. Of course, that doesn’t mean that he didn’t feed from humans but… He tried to help and understand humans and other creatures. And that makes a difference.” He put the pictures back in the diary and closed it. Then, he looked at Jaebeom. “I wanted to talk to you but… I didn’t know how. Maybe I was also scared. Even if Jackson and Jinyoung didn’t cause terror everywhere they went… I didn’t want you to feel betrayed, nor to experience the loss and pain that comes with loving them. I should have been a better friend. I should have supported you… but I couldn't.”

Jaebeom nodded. He understood. 

“I don’t know what I’m going to do, but promise me one thing.” He bent forward on the chair, wringing his hands. “Whatever my choice is, promise me that you’ll be tolerant… I mean, don’t try to bewitch them or something like that,” he added, his tone almost amused.

Bambam smiled a bit and nodded. 

“But you’ll let me choose new clothes for you. Deal?”

Jaebeom nodded in return. What could go wrong? Bambam wasn't buying him a bikini, right? Then, he looked at Youngjae. 

“Did you know?”

Youngjae smiled. “I just found out,” he answered. “You know I’ve always been interested in the supernatural, and that I have a sixth sense. Well, I had my suspicions, and Bambam confirmed them. You added some juicy information, though.”

“You’re not a strange creature like, I don’t know, an angel? A chimera? The Grim Reaper?”

Youngjae burst out laughing so loud that he surprised both Jaebeom and Bambam. After a few seconds, he calmed, his eyes still watery. However, despite the joy of the moment, he felt as if something was out of place. He didn’t know what, but he felt strange, heavy. 

“No, hyung… I think I’m just a normal person in this magical world,” he answered. Then, he rested his head on his right hand. “And as a human, I’m having a terrible headache. I didn’t sleep last night while studying, so if you excuse me… I’m going to my room.” 

He stood up and walked towards the door. However, an object caught his attention. When they moved in together, they had agreed to share some of their personal objects to decorate the house. Youngjae looked at one of his, a silver scale resting next to the television that was a bit smaller than a human hand.

Why was he feeling so anxious? 

He shook his head. He just needed a really, really, really good rest. 

***

A few days later, Jaebeom finally went to see a specialist physician to help him figure out what was wrong with him. He’d told him everything that seemed off: the dizziness, the increasingly regular faitings, the headache… That sometimes he saw or heard strange things that didn’t seem to exist in reality. The doctor had said that it was probably due to trauma or stress, most likely the second option. However, he had to wait for the results of some tests to verify his good—or not so good—health. 

He hadn’t slept much in the past few days and he was feeling tired, the dizziness lurking over him as if it was waiting for him to surrender. Jaebeom couldn’t help but spend most of his time looking at the messages Jinyoung was sending him, the number decreasing as the days passed by. He wondered if he was getting tired of writing or if he was giving up on expecting an answer. All of his messages had been seen, but none of them replied to, largely because Jaebeom didn’t even know how to talk to him anymore. 

He couldn’t get the last visions, or whatever they were, out of his head...

Suddenly, a sharp pain left him almost breathless, his eyes clouded and couldn’t see anything but fog and blurred figures. Jaebeom knew he was holding his head and screaming, but he couldn’t stop himself. The pain was too much. It was as if he was being cut in half, as if something was killing him from the inside out. 

_ “Please, Jackson… you need to help me. You have to save  _ him _.” _

_ Jaebeom was lying on an old bed, sweating, his eyes almost lifeless. He was buried under blankets, with just his head and one hand poking out. He grabbed Jackson’s hand, desperate, touching his cold skin as if it were a remedy to his suffering.  _

_ “You’re the only… one… the only one that can…” He coughed, unable to finish the sentence. Even if he had two pillows to support him, they didn’t seem enough to help him catch his breath… and they were stained with blood. “Do it… He can’t die… Turn him...” _

_ “What you’re asking is…” Jackson couldn’t hold back his tears as he held Jaebeom’s hand tightly. “Is so difficult… There’s the possibility that he won’t survive the process...” _

_ “He’s strong and I trust you… Promise me...” Jaebeom’s pale skin had lost all its bright from the past. He now looked like a ghost and Jackson wasn’t sure if he could handle seeing him like that, wilting as life was leaving him.  _

_ “I’ll do it,” Jackson whispered. The promise made Jaebeom relax, his head resting on the pillows again. “He’s going to hate me.” _

_ “You know... just for a while… then, he’ll understand. I promise…” _

_ Jaebeom’s voice was tired, and it seemed difficult for him to talk. Jackson caressed his hand, his strength gone even before he’d made the promise. Jaebeom was fading. His friend was dying and there was nothing he could do to save him since the disease was already at an advanced stage. For the first time, his blood wasn’t enough and he felt useless.  _

_ “I’m sorry that I can’t save you, too… I’m sorry, hyung…” _

_ Jaebeom smiled just a bit. _

_ “You’re saving… the love of my… life…” he said, his voice now even lower, his eyes closed. “I’ll be… forever thankful…” _

Jaebeom could barely open his eyes, but he was crying. It wasn’t because of the pain, but because of all the emotions, piercing him as if he were a dartboard. 

He wasn’t in the waiting room anymore, either. Was he… in a stretcher? The lights on the ceiling were too strong. Everything was passing by too fast. 

He closed his eyes again. Then, everything went black once more. 

_ “I’ll be here when you wake up, hyung.” _

_ Jinyoung’s voice was low, sweet, a perfect melody for his tired senses. Jaebeom opened his eyes slowly to look at him.  _

_ “I know… you…” He raised his hand with difficulty from under the sheets, just to caress his cheek. “You… are always…” _

_ It hurt Jinyoung to see him like that. He knew Jaebeom was dying, but couldn’t do anything other than be there for him. Warm him. Love him. He put his own hand over Jaebeom’s, and faked his best smile to comfort him.  _

_ “I’m always with you because I love you. You’re everything to me.” _

_ “So… are you…” Jaebeom closed his eyes. He was so tired… It was too difficult to talk, even more so to breathe. “Love…” _

_ “Don’t talk. Rest…” Jinyoung said, his voice cracking. He felt broken. He couldn’t do anything. He was just there, lying beside him, holding his tears back, pressing onto Jaebeom’s hand to let him know he was there, with him. Forever, even when they knew there was no such thing as “forever” for them.  _

_ “A lot… of… things…” Jaebeom’s breath was slowing. Jinyoung bit his lips. He couldn’t cry. Not at that moment. He needed to be strong for him. “... wanted... say… didn’t…” _

_ “You don’t have to say anything, hyung. I already know everything about you. You’ve shown me.” His voice cracked while pronouncing those words. A single tear escaped caressing Jaebeom’s skin and Jinyoung felt him trembling, cold, motionless. “I love you.” _

_ “... love…” _

_ The last thing Jaebeom felt before falling asleep forever was Jinyoung’s warm body against his. The feeling of his hand caressing his own, his tears soaking everything around him, his love, melting his heart for the last time… _

_ And his broken voice screaming Jaebeom’s name as the world was tearing apart.  _

“He’s regaining consciousness…” said someone next to him.

Jaebeom opened his eyes to find himself lying in a dim hospital room. He looked at the nurse next to him, who was writing something on a file. She kept talking to him. However, Jaebeom wasn’t listening at all. His head was completely lost in what he’d just seen. 

Why did he see himself die in Jinyoung's arms? Why was he able to feel every single emotion as if it was his? Why did he keep dreaming of that Jinyoung? It wasn't even his Jinyoung... He was different despite their similarities. Why did he see Jackson? Was it a product of his imagination or was there something more? If vampires and warlocks existed...

No...

Jaebeom felt his heart beating fast, a strange pain making him want to throw up. He wasn't sure what to believe, but he felt inexplicably broken. He felt how much the Jinyoung he saw had loved the person who had died beside him and it was absolutely overwhelming. He also felt like an intruder, as if he was seeing things that he wasn’t allowed to see. But… he needed answers...

He needed to talk to Jinyoung...

***

At the library, Youngjae finally finished another successful paper. The headache hadn't dissipated, though, and he couldn't stop thinking about that balance. It was stuck in his head. Something about what Jaebeom had said and that object had caught his attention, but he couldn't understand why. It was just a trinket and some arbitrary words. If he were a warlock, a vampire or something else, he would have known… right? Bambam and the others knew. 

However, he'd been feeling strange for the past few days. Recurring headaches, the image of the balance… and  _ that _ .

He'd been doodling a bit whenever he was lost in thought. It wouldn't be that weird, if they weren't always following the same pattern. Exactly the same. The same curves, the same lines in different colors.

Youngjae took a closer look at the drawing, as if this time he'd discovered some new, an important secret hidden between the lines. 

He saw  _ it _ . The balance was also there. It was blurry, but…

Then, the intense headache again.

And suddenly, something happened inside him, as if a switch had been turned on. 

He panicked. 

***

When Jaebeom was finally released from the hospital, his head was a mess. He still felt awkward. Apparently, all the tests he’d taken had reached the same conclusion: physically, he was fine. The only explanation for everything that was happening was some unidentified mental disorder. He would have to take further tests to figure out the cause and find a more suitable treatment. That was all.

He sighed when the fresh air hit his face. Jaebeom felt exhausted, he hoped to sleep for at least a few hours. He closed his eyes to enjoy the breeze.

But destiny was cruel and had other plans for him. 

When he opened his eyes, Jinyoung was standing right in front of him. It wasn't a hallucination, Jaebeom conceded after blinking a few times. He was real.

And his look was absolutely heartbreaking, a deep pain visible in his eyes. 

Jaebeom didn't know what to say. There were so many things to talk about, but he was still processing all the information. The pain, the love, the death, vampires, his guilt… It was too much. He wanted to escape. 

Jinyoung wanted to take Jaebeom's hand, to caress his skin and ask for a second chance, but he held back. He saw Jaebeom glancing sideways, as if wanting to run, and that was enough for him to break.

"Please, don't go. Listen to me," he whispered, his eyes searching for Jaebeom's.

"What… Are you doing here?" But as soon as Jaebeom asked, he already knew it was the wrong question.

_ Blood _ .

Jinyoung saw the doubt in his eyes, and it was enough for him to understand. He decided to change the subject to put Jaebeom at ease. 

“Did you come for your medical tests?” he asked. Jaebeom hesitated, but finally nodded. “Is everything okay?” Jinyound added, his hands clenched in the pockets of his jacket. 

“Yeah…”

There was a lot to be said, but neither of them knew where to begin. Jaebeom was still trying to collect himself after seeing him, surprised at first but now he wanted to talk things out. Jinyoung, on the other side, wanted so badly to tell him that nothing that had happened between them was a mockery or a scam, that he’d been sincere. 

"I think… We should talk. I want to-", Jinyoung started.

"We should." Jaebeom cut him off out of nervousness, and Jinyoung couldn't help but smile a bit. "I'm sorry…"

"It's okay. We should get some privacy… Our house is nearby… would you mind?"

Jinyoung's tone was anxious, but Jaebeom decided it was alright and nodded. If Jinyoung had wanted to hurt him, he would have done it already. They walked side by side in complete silence, without touching. Seconds felt like hours, the tension caressing their hearts in slow motion, anticipating what was to come. Jaebeom felt nervous, and he couldn’t help but notice that it wasn’t just because of the talk, but also due to Jinyoung’s presence. 

He’d missed being with him. 

A few minutes later, they reached their destination. It was an old two-storey house, painted in white and surrounded by fences, a small and pretty garden in the front. The hall was warm, but Jaebeom couldn't admire the color of the walls, the exquisite pieces of furniture or the decor. Nobody seemed to be home, so they wouldn't be interrupted. It was the perfect timing.

How could he start a conversation about that? “Hey, tell me how you became a vampire.” No. There was no way they could chit chat casually about something so personal. He wanted to know but he didn’t want to seem nosy or insensitive. 

“I can sense you thinking from here.” Jinyoung sighed and looked at Jaebeom. 

“Can you like… read minds?” Jaebeom asked, embarrassed by the mere possibility of Jinyoung reading his mind. 

Jinyoung furrowed his brows, confused.  _ Twilight _ ’s cultural impact. 

“Do I look like Edward Cullen to you?” Jinyoung smiled, trying to lighten the mood after so long. As Jaebeom’s look turned from flustered to confused, Jinyoung felt the urge to apologize. He didn’t want to fuck this up. “Sorry… I just… I wanted to ease the tension.” 

“I was just thinking about that… I had no clue how to even start this conversation, I was glad that you did…” Jaebeom smiled sheepishly. “Honestly… I don’t even know if it’s too insensitive to ask you about your life… About you being…”

Without even realizing it, Jinyoung touched Jaebeom’s arm. That single gesture sent an electric shock through their arms. A faint warmness, like a phantom pain. Jinyoung looked at him with intensity. 

“I want to be honest with you, hyung,” Jinyoung said, seriously. “I’m sorry, hyung. I’m sorry that I deceived you. I’m sorry for lying to you that time in the hospital… For trying to use my charm…”

“Charm?” Jaebeom asked. He was confused.

“That time… When I told you that fangs and red eyes were something I’d like to forget… I tried to modify your memories. At that moment, I tried to do it to protect myself. I wasn’t sure how you’d react if you found out that I was a vampire. It’s wrong and I still regret it… Even if it didn’t work... I know I can’t erase what happened, no matter how many times I apologize for what I’ve done.” Jinyoung’s voice broke, his tone and words charged with emotions that had been bottled up for too long. “I don’t expect us to come back but… Being honest is the least I can do…”

Jaebeom was once again speechless.

“So… Shoot.” Jinyoung tried to smile, but that warmness didn’t reach his eyes, which were still charged with sadness. “I mean it… I will answer every question you have.”

The first thing that came to Jaebeom’s mind was Jinyoung trying to modify his memories. 

“Do you change people’s memories… a lot?” he asked. 

“Just sometimes. It’s to avoid being discovered, especially when in regards to our drinking  _ habits _ …” Jinyoung answered. “It usually works, I don’t know why it didn’t in your case. Maybe it was because you were in treatment, or still confused from fainting.”

Jaebeom nodded. It was reasonable. There were other things that he was interested in knowing, especially after his impromptu conversation with Mark. Or Cupid. Or whatever he was.

“Do you… bite people?” Jaebeom asked, the dreadful scene of Jinyoung drinking blood still in mind.

“I used to…” Absentmindedly, Jinyoung ran his fingers over the surface of the old cabinet in the hall. They were under the watch of the people in the array of photographs displayed atop it. People that most probably had died a long time ago, already forgotten. 

“Why?”

“I…” Jinyoung felt embarrassed and if he wasn’t a vampire, he would have blushed for sure. “It didn’t feel right…” Jinyoung looked at Jaebeom, clearly nervous. “You see… Vampires… We have the need to bite humans. Even if we’re in a relationship, we have the need to feed. Taking blood directly from the artery makes you… More satisfied. Artery blood is like a full course meal. Drinking from animals or blood bags is like you’re eating a side dish, and if the need gets too much it feels like you’re just feeding on crumbs. It’s difficult to get used to it. I normally have it under control, but… That night with you I was too comfortable… I wasn’t cautious. And I’m sorry, hyung… I stopped drinking blood from humans because I felt that I was being unfaithful to you. As if I was cheating. Yugyeom… He helped me to get blood bags undercover, and every time I had to meet you I tried to get as much blood as I could… You may think that I’m a monster but…” Jinyoung sighed. “Even that day, when we were about to have sex and I told you that I had to talk to the service… I went to drink even more. Just in case… Because I was afraid of biting you. Not just because you would discover my secret, but also because I didn’t want to hurt you…”

“Ohh…” Jaebeom didn’t know what to say. Jinyoung had really starved himself for him. Because he didn’t want to hurt him. “You didn’t have to… I don’t know…”

“Don’t think it’s your fault… It was my choice…” Jinyoung said. “Is there anything else you want to know?”

There was something Jaebeom had been dying to ask since he had his last “dream”, or “vision”, or whatever that was. The favour that Jaebeom had asked Jackson. 

“I don’t know if I should…”

“You can ask anything. I don’t want to keep you in the dark. I want to be open with you. You can ask me anything, Jaebeom.” 

"So… tell me about it… about how it happened…" Jaebeom asked, suddenly focusing on the old stairs that probably led up to the bedrooms. 

“How it happened… What…” Jinyoung furrowed his brows. 

“How did you become… a vampire?”

"Well… I barely remember." Jinyoung smiled, but it was full of sadness, heartbreaking. "It happened… centuries ago. It's like when you finish a book and then, after a while, you only remember the storyline and a few vague details. You forget. That's what happened to me, even if I didn't want to." Jinyoung walked by him and gestured to the stairs so Jaebeom would follow him. "Vampires are supposed to have a good memory, but it isn’t infallible. As time goes on, everything fades." They reached the landing, where the corridor was split in two: one to the left, one to the right. They took the left one. "I was really sick. There was a disease… there was no cure. It would have killed me, but Jackson… he saved me. He was the one who turned me." 

Jinyoung took in a deep breath as he opened one of the doors in the corridor. It seemed to be his bedroom, Jaebeom noted as soon as he saw several shelves filled with books. In fact, it seemed as if the walls of Jinyoung’s bedroom were made of ancient books. His room seemed more like a library, save for the double bed covered by a dark blue velvet bedspread. By the window—the only side of the room not covered in shelves—there was a desk and a big comfortable chair. 

"Why?" Jaebeom whispered. "Why you?"

Jinyoung sat on the bed and closed his eyes for a second. 

"Jackson… He… He'd made a promise." 

His voice…

"A promise… to who?" Jaebeom was afraid of the answer, but he didn't know why.

The silence surrounded them while Jinyoung took a key out from under the table lamp and opened one of the drawers. Jaebeom saw in it a little wooden box painted white. Jinyoung caressed the box, handling it with extreme care. There were gold details covering its surface.

"To the person I loved," he finally answered. He showed the closed box to Jaebeom. "Here are the only things I could keep from my past… from that time…"

"Why did Jackson make that promise?" said Jaebeom, unable to tear his eyes off the box.

"Because he loved him, too. Not romantically, of course," Jinyoung explained. "Jackson… He traveled a lot and was always on his own, despite how social he is. People have always fallen easily for his charms, and we weren't an exception. We all became good friends… but things happened. When Jackson and I found out about the disease, it was already too late for my partner, but I didn't… I didn't know. He made Jackson promise that he would save me... because I had started showing the first symptoms of the illness."

Jinyoung remained silent for a while. Jaebeom stayed quiet, too, feeling strange. What Jinyoung was saying… it was so similar to what he’d seen. The words, their meaning, the promise…

_ Turn him. _

That was what Jaebeom, in the vision-dream-whatever, had said. But it was just a coincidence, right?

_ It must be. _

"Jackson… couldn't save him?" Jaebeom asked in a really low voice.

"Even though a vampire's blood can heal a lot of things, when a disease has already destroyed you, it can do nothing. He was dying and the blood could do nothing… absolutely nothing." Jinyoung opened the box slowly. "I thought Jackson was going to save us both… after that, for years, I didn't want to hear Jacksons' reasons. I didn't talk to him, only learned how to survive. But even though I was hurting him, he stayed by my side, in the shadows, until I… could finally understand." Jinyoung's voice was broken. "It took time. It was difficult for both of us."

Jaebeom sat on the bed beside Jinyoung. He really had to hold himself back from leaning in and comforting him, forcing himself to tighten his hands against the bed covers. He raised his head and looked at him.

“Do you remember  _ him _ ?” he asked, his voice almost a whisper, as if he were afraid to ask. 

“Neither his face nor his voice,” Jinyoung answered. “Even if I try, I can’t. I just see blurred faces, unknown voices trying to approximate his. I can evoke some of our experiences in my mind, but I’m sure they’re not a hundred percent accurate.”

“It must have been really hard…”

Jaebeom let his hand slide over, until it covered Jinyoung’s. It felt natural, as if he could no longer deny what his body wanted. He caressed Jinyoung’s pale skin, allowing himself to interlace their fingers when Jinyoung pulled away from the little box. 

“I can’t even imagine what you’ve been through,” Jaebeom said. “Were… were the two of you together for a long time?”

Jinyoung gazed at him. 

“We grew up together. First, we were friends, but attraction grew quickly. Our relationship was absolutely forbidden, and he had a fiancée, but… We just couldn’t hold ourselves back. There were too many secrets, and even when we got caught and threatened death, in my case, we still wanted to be together. When we finally ran away, he was already sick… And you know how the story ends.” Jinyoung sighed again. “Everything was forbidden. We were both men, and we were from completely different social classes.”

“Was… he… a prince?”

Jaebeom gulped nervously. In one of his vision-dreams, he’d seen Jinyoung calling someone that. 

“Guess what? You’re right.” Jinyoung looked at him, a smile on his lips that didn’t quite reach his eyes. “He was a prince and I was… a servant.”

Jaebeom couldn’t take his eyes off the box and furrowed his brows, as if he was trying to solve a difficult riddle. He felt a certain magnetism. A natural force that pulled him towards it, as strong as the pull that kept the Moon rotating around the Earth.

As Jinyoung watched, astonished, Jaebeom released his hand and touched the box. There was a strange energy emanating from that antique piece of wood, lingering around it like static electricity. He closed his eyes, trying to find the answer to an unknown question. 

“Are you okay…?” Jinyoung asked. 

“Yeah… I… Well, I don’t know…” Jaebeom swallowed against the knot in his throat. He had a strange feeling about this. “What’s in the box?”

Jinyoung opened the box, and a sweet melody filled the room, comforting and calm. Inside of the box there was a silk scarf, a silver brooch, and a golden ring. He held out the objects and let him touch them. Jaebeom brushed his fingers against them, and it felt as if those objects were pieces of a puzzle he was trying to solve. He had to find out how they fit. 

The first object that caught his eye was the golden ring. Jaebeom picked it out and held it to his ring finger. He felt that same sensation that always took over his body right before his visions. But he didn’t put the ring on, placing it back in the small box as if he had picked the wrong puzzle piece. 

Jaebeom felt like he was on autopilot. His senses had numbed, and he wasn’t fully aware of his surroundings. The only things that mattered were that box and the objects within. He surrendered himself fully to whatever it was that possessed him. 

Jaebeom held the silk scarf in his hands and felt its softness with his fingers. He turned, facing Jinyoung. He held up the scarf and examined it, as if he was trying to figure out how it worked. The answer came to him easily. He placed the scarf around Jinyoung’s neck, covering his nape and the upper part of his back. He took one of the corners of the scarf and placed it over the opposite shoulder, covering the front side of his neck and part of his chest. 

_ What are you doing, hyung?  _ He heard Jinyoung’s voice. It didn’t come from the present. It seemed like the start of another vision. It felt like that. 

_ This is for the cold nights and days I won’t be able to be with you.  _

“This is for the cold nights and days I won’t be able to be with you,” Jaebeom whispered like an old recording. Jinyoung’s eyes opened wide… It couldn’t be… It was impossible. 

Jaebeom then picked up the golden ring. A small but valuable piece of jewelry, an heirloom with a small diamond. The kind of jewelry the aristocracy or royalty would wear. 

_ Don’t say that, hyung! Don’t even think about it! You’re going to live!  _ He closed his eyes and swore he could feel the touch of Jinyoung's hands on his shoulders. Not his Jinyoung. Vision-Jinyoung. That younger and more cheerful Jinyoung that he didn’t understand. 

_ I’ve gotten really sick, and we can no longer take the long trips we used to because my body won’t allow it. I feel weaker and weaker. I would welcome with open arms that miracle, to be able to spend the rest of my life with you. As someone once told me, “If I was to be born again, I would choose you”... Not only once. Over and over again. But if that miracle doesn’t happen… I want to give this to you.  _

Jaebeom put the ring on Jinyoung’s finger. 

_ With this I will always be with you.  _

“With this I will always be with you…” Jaebeom whispered again. 

Jaebeom held out the last object. The last puzzle piece. A tear ran down Jinyoung’s cheek, leaving a trail from the corner of his eye. One last empty space to cover. He turned over Jinyoung’s hand and put the object on his palm, covering it then with his own hand. He swore he could see a crimson thread around their fingers.

_ And this… Will allow you to survive. _

“And this will allow you to survive…” Jaebeom echoed.

“Jaebeom…” Jinyoung’s voice brought him back to reality. Tears were falling from Jinyoung’s eyes. Could vampires even cry? As he blinked, Jaebeom felt dampness in his eyes too, reflecting Jinyoung’s. Jaebeom touched his own cheek and felt it wet. Was he… crying? “How did you know that?”

“What?”

“How did you know that?”

Memories are fragile. He could forget faces and excerpts from his life. But the ritual was difficult to forget. 

A ritual that he had been performing ever since  **he** had died. 

A mantra he had repeated over centuries. First in mourning, but then because he was afraid to forget him. Like writing in a diary, to hold on to his memories.

“He… My…" Jinyoung’s voice broke as tears kept falling from his eyes.

“Jinyoung… I don’t understand…” Jaebeom brought his other hand to his shoulder. He couldn’t bear seeing him like that. Had he hurt him? Did he do something he shouldn’t have done?

“Ever since he died… I… I’ve been doing this… This ritual… Putting on these objects and repeating his words while I was mourning him, and then because… I was too afraid to forget…” Jinyoung’s eyes turned crimson, clearly distressed.

“Jinyoung, calm down, please…” Jaebeom said, worried.

“He said those words when he gave me those objects and there’s no way you could have known it… How?”

“You wouldn’t believe me…”

“We promised honesty, Jaebeom… Don’t let me out of this. I need to know. I want to understand this.”

Jaebeom swallowed and looked down at the floor. His hands had started shaking, and he put them on his knees to calm himself. He took in a deep breath and closed his eyes, trying to find the perfect words.

“Do you remember when we met today by the hospital, and you asked me if everything was okay?” Jinyoung still looked shocked, his red eyes full of tears. “I lied, I… I’m not okay. I haven’t been okay for a long time, and the doctors don’t know why… You know I’ve been having… these strange episodes of headaches and losing consciousness. Every time it happens, I see things I don’t understand. Images, visions, dreams… I don’t even know how to explain it, but it happens,” he said, each word making him feel more and more anxious. “It’s as if I could see the past, but the weirdest thing is that I’m a part of that past… It’s as if I’m reliving something that has nothing to do with me, but somehow also includes me.” He couldn’t open his eyes to look at Jinyoung, afraid of what he would see. “And each one of those visions includes you.”

“Me?” Jinyoung asked in disbelief, frowning in astonishment. 

“A younger version of you, but I’m sure it’s you. You and… maybe your past. Your story.”

Silence fell upon them. Jaebeom started to regret telling him about his visions. It sounded crazy… And what would Jinyoung say? That everything was fine? That he understood? No. Even if the visions were real, Jaebeom didn’t have the right to see them. He felt like he was spying on something so private and fragile and the guilt was driving him crazy. 

“I…” Jinyoung’s voice sounded nervous when he finally broke the silence. It made Jaebeom tremble in anticipation. “Something similar is happening to me, but... with you. It only happened once... A few hours ago… I saw you in bed. We were together… We…”

They finally looked at each other, both of them surprised by each other's revelations. Jinyoung’s eyes were still crimson, but Jaebeom wasn’t shocked anymore. 

“It doesn’t make sense,” Jaebeom stated. 

“Maybe… we should verify something. I have an idea. But before…” Jinyoung looked at the wooden box, whose music had stopped without them realizing it. Then, he took something from it and put it on Jaebeom’s lap. “Take this… But promise me you’ll open it later. After all of this.”

“Okay… I promise.” Jaebeom took a worn-out piece of paper he hadn’t seen before and put it inside one of his pockets. Even if he was dying to take a look, it was more important to keep his word. He looked back at Jinyoung, anxiety thrumming throughout his whole body. “So… what do we do next?”

***

Bambam arrived at Jinyoung’s half an hour after receiving Jaebeom’s text. He’d been confused by its urgency, as if something serious had happened. He’d even asked him to bring anything he might need to do magic. What was happening there? But Jaebeom had said that he would explain later, so he had just grabbed his spell book and his invaluable suitcase and then there he was, standing in front of Jinyoung's house, trusting his friend with his whole heart. He barely glanced at the house before ringing the bell and, a moment later, someone opened the door. 

Yugyeom. 

Bambam swallowed. He remembered the promise he’d made to Jaebeom, and that they weren’t as bad as he’d originally thought. They were  _ good _ vampires. More or less. 

“Uhm, hello… Jaebeom hyung told me to come…” he said. The situation was beyond awkward. 

“Oh, yeah, come in!” Yugyeom put on his best smile and moved out of the way so Bambam could enter. “They told me to wait in the basement for now, but they’re going to explain it later. Follow me.”

So Bambam did. He didn’t know what to say, so he just remained silent and followed Yugyeom to a door behind the huge stairs that led to the upper floor. They went down the stairs below, narrower but still well lit, until they reached a security door. Bambam sensed that secrets were about to be revealed, but Yugyeom just smiled to placate him while pulling out the keys.

“Don’t worry, I’m not going to kill you or anything. Jinyoung hyung told me that we have to be here to do whatever they need us to do. This is where we keep all the important things… the rare things.”

“Rares?” Bambam asked, frowning slightly. What was happening?

“Yeah, well, more or less. Some of it is just memorabilia, from my hyungs, but there are also magic objects they’ve kept for too long.”

“They?” Bambam couldn’t help but ask. “Aren’t you old, too.”

“Not really.” Yugyeom shrugged. “I was born in the last century.”

Bambam looked at him, surprised. Yugeom was surprisingly young and he was curious about his life, how he’d been turned into a vampire, or the events that led to that dreadful moment. But he wasn’t sure if he could ask… Shyly, he looked around. There were shelves filled with books, crystal jars holding strange liquids, paintings hanging along the wall and a big, old table in the center of the room, surrounded by chairs. 

“I’m sorry that I misjudged you,” Bambam said, unable to look at Yugyeom. “You know… Our people always fought each other before the treaty was signed. I recently discovered that Jackson was… the one who signed the treaty.”

“Yeah, they told me about it. I know your history has been hard. Isn’t that a part of life?” Yugyeom smiled, a small gesture that made Bambam feel oddly comfortable. “But now you know, and we can be… friends?”

His tone. His little smile. His hopeful eyes.

“I guess…”

“Good!” Yugyeom clapped and sat in one of the chairs. “I’d never had friends until I met Jackson and Jinyoung, although they’re more like my family now.”

Bambam left his things on the floor and sat in another chair, looking at him. 

“You never had friends?”

“No. I grew up on the streets collecting money for a master that didn’t care about me. Jinyoung was always there, helping me even if I didn’t know it. Some days he gave me the money I was missing to help me reach my daily amount, and others he just left it on the ground where I would casually find it. He even helped me when I’d been beaten. He was my first friend, the only person in the world that worried about me.” Yugyeom stopped for a few seconds, but then continued to speak. He was really talkative. Bambam was surprised at how the vampire could open his heart so easily to someone that used to hate him. “Then, when the war started, I had to fight on the front lines. It was brutal, and eventually I got shot. I would have died if Jinyoung hadn’t saved me and showed me how to control my blood lust.”

Bambam bit his lower lip and looked at the floor, suddenly feeling guilty. He’d treated them like shit… Even if they were vampires now, they’d been human once and he was only just realizing how hard it must have been. 

“I’m sorry,” he whispered. His body moved on its own, his hand moving to Yugyeom’s knee, trying to comfort him. “I… didn’t know.”

“Don’t be! You didn’t know then, but you do now. They’re not bad people. Jackson is really kind and funny… Jinyoung may look serious, but he can be really funny too, and he takes care of us. They have really good values when it comes to humans. Trust me. They make you feel at home. They make you believe you belong with them.”

Yugyeom smiled, and only in that moment did Bambam realize that the vampire had grabbed his hand gently. It was weird… but it felt right. 

As if it was meant to be. 

But the beautiful moment was interrupted by the door opening. Jackson, Jinyoung and Jaebeom entered the room as Bambam, cheeks flushed, let go of Yugyeom’s grip. 

“Are we interrupting something here?” Jackson asked in a cheerful tone. 

“No! I was just telling Bambam my tragic story,” Yugyeom said dramatically. 

“Where’s Youngjae?” Jaebeom asked, looking around.

“He said he couldn’t make it. He was trying to find something, a matter of life and death. He hung up before I could ask anything else,” Bambam replied. 

It was strange…

“So… why are we here?” Jackson leaned against one of the shelves and looked first at Jinyoung, then at Jaebeom. “Is this some kind of party? Are you getting married?” he joked. 

“None of those…” Jinyoung replied, seriously. “We have to perform a ritual. We need to verify something.”

_ What the hell? _

"Oh, I love rituals! Especially the ones we used to have back in the 19th century. One ended in a wonderful orgy. So amazing… Right, Jinyoung?" Jackson said.

All of them looked at him, shocked. Then, they looked at Jinyoung, waiting for his answer.

"I wasn't there!" Jinyoung exclaimed.

"No, you’re right. You were busy with your sugar daddies…" Jackson winked at him.

So many things were happening at once, as if they were all typing in a group chat. Jaebeom turned beet red with shame and Bambam was absolutely speechless. Yugyeom closed his eyes and nodded, as if he knew exactly what they were talking about. Jackson just smiled mischievously.

"Stop this nonsense," Jinyoung said, annoyed.

Jaebeom looked between them, anxious. 

“We don't have time for this right now… We'll talk about it later," Jaebeom interrupted. "This is… serious. If you remember how I keep fainting… there’s more to the story.”

He told them everything that had been happening to him, including the hospital episode and the content of the visions. Jackson was tense. Bambam frowned, astonished, and Yugyeom looked at him, his eyes wide in surprise. 

They knew what had to be done: they needed to check Jaebeom’s vital line to see if there was a connection to the past. 

Bambam’s shocked look morphed into one of horror. Throughout his long life, he had witnessed some of the most extraordinary cases: precognition, telepathy, possession and curses, among others. But he’d never seen anything like Jaebeom’s visions. And that worried him. 

“Could it be possible that Jaebeom has the same soul?” Jackson asked Bambam. “Have you ever seen something like that?”

“It’s unlikely… Unless…” Bambam replied. 

“Unless what?” Jaebeom felt like he was on the brink of getting answers he needed, but at the same time… He had doubts. If there really was a connection with the past… The mere thought made him nervous. 

“There’s the possibility of reincarnation… I haven’t heard of cases in which the process of reincarnation has caused visions, though…”

Jackson and Bambam continued discussing the possibilities, stuff he didn’t even understand. Everything was gibberish to him. He felt like he was in an alternate dimension. 

Reincarnation? Jaebeom may not have the knowledge Bambam and Jackson had, but he had an idea. Did he share the same soul with Jinyoung’s past lover? Apart from the visions… He didn’t feel different. But could it be possible that he would stop being himself? That the current Jaebeom would disappear… That he could lose his life? Would he have to compete with his “past self”?

Jaebeom didn’t even notice he had started bouncing his leg. Jackson, Bambam and Yugyeom didn’t either, as they were probably talking about his “past self”, or the ritual, or things he couldn’t understand. But Jinyoung did. He wasn’t paying attention to the conversation. He was afraid of the implications of Jaebeom being a reincarnation of his past lover. It seemed that after moving two steps forward, they were taking one back. 

Jinyoung put a hand on Jaebeom’s bouncing leg. He strengthened his grip and Jaebeom looked at him. Jaebeom was clearly distressed. Jinyoung moved closer, whispering into his ear. 

_ It’ll be fine, hyung.  _

_ I’m with you. _

Jinyoung looked at him and smiled, hoping to give him some comfort. 

Jaebeom couldn’t help but smile weakly back. 

“Hey, lovebirds!” Bambam’s voice brought them back to reality. Yugyeom laughed, clearly amused. “Did you understand what I just said?”

“Ah, Bammie, why did you have to interrupt their “jjp moment”?” Yugyeom pouted.

“I’m sorry, I… I was feeling overwhelmed…” Jaebeom scratched his nape sheepishly. “I think I got lost around the “reincarnation” lesson, sorry… I… What does that even mean? Do I have the same soul?”

“Yes… It’s as if his soul has been reborn into a new body. But that doesn’t mean that you’re the same person. He died and you have different experiences that make you different individuals,” Bambam explained. 

“But if he died… Why am I having these visions?” Jaebeom asked with a trembling voice. 

“I’m afraid I don’t have answers for that… Not yet. But we’ll get there.” Bambam smiled, and then dropped his big book and suitcase on the table, making a loud noise. “First things first, let’s do the ‘sanguine’ spell’.”

“What’s in there? And what is a ‘sanguine’ spell?” Jaebeom looked on with confusion as Bambam opened the suitcase and took out several antique-looking objects. 

“A spell book and all the elements needed for the spell. Well, not all of them…" Bambam stopped digging through his suitcase. He looked flustered all of a sudden. “These kinds of spells are used to track the “history”,” Bambam drew invisible quotation marks in the air with his fingers. “Of your soul by comparing it to the “history” of your past self through an object. Because… Of course we don’t have the other person to compare it to, so that’s why an object, anything that belonged to that person is needed... So… Do you guys have something that we could use? I’ll have to break the object and render it useless so… I know it’ll be difficult but… It’s the only way we can do this… I’m sorry...”

Silence fell. Jackson looked at Jinyoung, knowing that he was the only one in possession of something belonging to his past lover. Everyone except Bambam knew how much those objects meant to him. They had been Jinyoung’s burden, but also his anchor for a long time. A proof that that part of him had existed. A way to remember. 

“Yes… I…” Jinyoung cleared his throat. “Give me a second…” 

In an instant, Jinyoung left and came back holding a bright object. Even if Jinyoung had disclosed some of his secrets to Jaebeom, this was the first time he had seen Jinyoung using his high speed. Jaebeom watched as Jinyoung presented the object to Bambam cautiously. 

“Could this be useful?” Jinyoung asked, caressing the object. It was the brooch Jaebeom had seen earlier. Jaebeom was surprised that Jinyoung would give away such an important object for the spell, to help him find out who he was. 

_ For him? _

“This is perfect!” Bambam took the object carefully and placed it on the table. “Thank you, Jinyoung…” Jinyoung nodded, his smile not quite reaching his eyes. He looked at the object. He seemed to be deep in thought. “The second element we need is… blood.” 

“Easy peasy!” Yugyeom said. “I can bring you blood bags if you need them! It isn’t as if I haven’t done that for my hyungs before.” He winked an eye.

“The thing is… We need a specific type of blood. Fresh blood from the person we’re casting the spell on. I mean… Jaebeom’s. That’s why the spell is called ‘sanguine’. It means blood.”

“Oh…” Jaebeom said softly, and then rolled up the sleeve of his sweater with a trembling hand. “Of course… Take it.”

“I have a knife but… I think a single drop wouldn’t be enough for this… I will need enough blood to draw the sigil, immerse the object and give energy to the spell… It doesn’t have to be dangerous, if you guys...” Bambam explained. 

“Maybe we can help… If Jaebeom wants to,” Jackson added. 

“You don’t have to do this…” Jinyoung said, his eyes glinting with emotion. He knew that discovering the reason behind those visions was important to him. They didn’t even know if those visions were dangerous for Jaebeom’s health. But he had also seen Jaebeom’s reaction when he found out that he was a vampire. Even if he had seemed to come to terms with it, and he was trying to understand… Asking that of him might be too much. 

He didn’t want to lose his trust again. 

“It’s okay…” Jaebeom nodded. He was clearly tense. “I trust you,” he said, locking his eyes with Jinyoung’s. 

“Are you sure, hyung?” Jinyoung asked. He didn’t want Jaebeom to feel pressured. He didn’t want him to agree just because there was no other option. 

“I’m scared but… I need this. You know that…” Jaebeom replied.

They went together to Jinyoung’s bedroom. Jinyoung had told the rest that he would do it, but that they would need privacy. Of course he could do it in front of the rest, but he didn’t want Jaebeom to feel uncomfortable. It wasn’t as if he was going to drink his blood, but he would still have to bite. 

They both sat on the bed, the same place where Jinyoung had opened his heart to him. Where he had opened that door to the past and showed him the only memories he had left of his first love. 

Jaebeom didn’t know what to say. Should he ask him how were they going to do it? “Hey, what’s the best part of the body to suck blood from?” That kind of stuff? It was embarrassing just thinking about it. Letting himself be bitten by Jinyoung felt really intimate. 

Jinyoung had been completely silent during the meeting, except for the moments he had talked to him. It was as if something had been bothering him. It must have hurt to give up a memento that was so treasured by him. He suddenly remembered the moment he apparently repeated the words his “past-self” had said while giving Jinyoung those objects. From the visions he had had, Jaebeom understood that they had loved each other boundlessly. Their story seemed to be taken out of a novel. 

Jaebeom suddenly felt self-conscious. How could he even compete with that? He felt… like a poor substitute. A replica. A reminder of the past. 

“What are you thinking about?” Jinyoung asked. 

“It must have been difficult for you… GIving up one of his objects…” Jaebeom replied. 

Jinyoung sighed, looking at his hands.

“It was difficult… But it felt right…” Jinyoung looked at him. “‘And this will allow you to survive’.” The words still tasted bitter and sad in his mouth. “I’m sure that those words had a different meaning at that time. I think he meant that if I sold that brooch, I would get enough money to survive and get out of that life as a servant. That I would be able to live freely… I’m not a servant anymore, but I haven’t been free for a long time.”

“Why?”

“Being with Jackson, I never struggled financially, and even when I wasn’t with him… I found my own ways…” Jinyoung replied. “But I couldn’t escape my past. I was afraid to forget, but at the same time the pain was unbearable. I felt an emptiness and a pain that wouldn’t subside. Until now… When I’m with you… This feels right. That’s why it’s so unfair… So unfair that you have that connection with the past. With  _ him _ . I want you. I like being with you. But I can’t ask you to be with me. It’s not fair asking you that.”

“We don’t know yet…” Jaebeom said. “I still don’t know what to think of the possibility but… I’m sure that I want to solve this. We’ll think about the rest later, okay?” Jinyoung nodded softly. “So… let’s do it.” Jaebeom took his sweater off and tilted his head to bare his neck. Jinyoung furrowed his brows. 

“What are you doing?”

“You’re going to bite me, right? Isn’t this how you do it?” Jaebeom felt his ears turn red, embarrassed. Jinyoung chuckled and then softly put a hand on his shoulder. 

“No… We don’t need to do that, hyung.” Jinyoung smiled at Jaebeom’s flush. “That’s one of the most…” Jinyoung struggled to find the right words. Of course he had talked about his nature and disclosed some of his secrets. He even told him about how he fed, but never got into the specifics of it. “Intimate bites.” Jaebeom’s cheeks turned crimson and Jinyoung was sure that his would be the same if he wasn’t a vampire. Why did he feel like such a teenager with him?

“Oh…”

“I’m not even going to actually… Suck your blood… I was going to bite you in the wrist, get the blood that we need and then close the wound with my blood.”

Jaebeom fidgeted. It sounded easy, but he didn’t really know what to expect and it made him nervous. 

“Does it… Does it hurt?” Jaebeom asked. 

“It stings a little when the fangs pierce the skin, but then…” Jinyoung didn’t want to scare Jaebeom. He didn’t want to make him uncomfortable, but he knew that there was a possibility that he would change his mind when he found out how the bite would go. “It’s meant to be a pleasant sensation. So you actually feel… Arousal from it.”

Jaebeom was speechless. He was still doubtful about the whole experience but, at the same time, he was curious. Deep inside of him… He wanted to know. 

“I told you… You don’t have to do it… Don’t feel pressured to do it because of the ritual…” Jinyoung said. 

“Hey…” Jinyoung looked genuinely concerned. Jaebeom was grateful that Jinyoung was thinking about his well being, and that he was giving him a choice by explaining everything to him. It wasn’t his fault. He showed that he cared. “I trust you. I meant it, when I told you before.”

“Are you sure?”

Jaebeom really wanted to erase the lines of worry drawn all over Jinyoung’s face. He wanted to reassure him. To tell him that he was fine. 

Jaebeom leaned into the short distance between them and kissed him softly on the lips. Jinyoung wasn’t expecting it, not after everything they had been through. Not even from Jaebeom. There were many times in his life that Jaebeom had been told to think before acting as he was too much of an impulsive person. It had been worse in the past, when he had been a ticking bomb of bitterness and frustration, ready to blow at any moment. But there were moments in life where you just had to let yourself go and do whatever the heart wanted. 

It was a small peck, a taste of heaven. A memory of something he missed. Something he could have had, maybe, if things weren’t so complicated. 

When he moved away, Jinyoung looked at him in shock. 

“Shall we start?” Jaebeom asked and held out his wrist. 

“Oh-Okay…” Jinyoung looked flustered, perhaps still shocked from the kiss. Jaebeom really hoped that things weren’t complicated, and that they could give it another shot. That they could have what they had before, and that the spell would prove that he wasn’t a reincarnation, or whatever it was that Bambam had said. Jinyoung’s fingers were cool against his warm skin. Jinyoung brought his wrist towards his plump lips, Jaebeom’s pulse quickening when he felt the sharp end of his fangs against his vein. “Are you ready?” A chill ran down Jaebeom’s spine when he felt Jinyoung’s breath. He closed his eyes, trying to calm himself. 

Jaebeom nodded.

It had been a long time since Jinyoung had last bitten someone. Since before he had met Jaebeom. The mouthwatering taste of fresh blood taken directly from the artery. He had missed it so much. So, so much. But he wasn’t there to feed. He had to help Jaebeom. They needed the blood for the ritual. 

Jinyoung took a breath and bit him. 

A small whimper escaped Jaebeom’s lips when he felt the sting of Jinyoung’s fangs piercing his skin. His fingers jerked and trembled from the sudden pain. But Jinyoung hadn’t lied to him. That pain didn’t last long.

Soon, pain transformed into pleasure. Warmth spread from the puncture, a delightfully sweet venom running through his veins. A prey submitting to his predator. 

When Jaebeom opened his eyes, he saw crimson. Jinyoung’s red eyes staring at him, his fangs still embedded in his wrist. The image triggered a throbbing need. Jaebeom’s pulse quickened, his heart hammering against his ribcage. Pressure bloomed in the lower half of his body, a tension aching to be released.

“Jinyoung…” Jaebeom whimpered softly again. He couldn’t take his eyes off him. How he strengthened his hold on his wrist with a trembling hand. Jinyoung was struggling to stop himself from sucking his blood further. But Jaebeom didn’t care. He wanted to tell him to continue. He needed it.  _ Jinyoung Jinyoung Jinyoung please continue. I need it. I need you.  _ He wanted to burn in that pleasure. 

Jinyoung closed his eyes and, with inhuman strength and self control, managed to stop himself from sucking his blood. 

_ You need it.  _

_ You missed it so much and you know it.  _

Blood was calling to him, like the song of a mermaid. “Get a grip, Jinyoung,” he thought. But it was so difficult after he had gone so long without tasting fresh blood. It wasn’t just any blood, either. It was Jaebeom’s. He didn’t know if it was because of the bottled up tension between them or his prolonged thirst but… His blood was exquisite. A drug. A feast. 

He needed more. 

_ You’re damn right you need it.  _

He extracted his fangs from Jaebeom’s wrist and whimpered. Then, on autopilot, he took the vessel Bambam had given him to collect the blood and put Jaebeom’s wrist over it. Jinyoung had to stop himself from licking his lips at the sight. 

_ What a waste… _

“Shut up…” he thought. The hand that held Jaebeom’s wrist was still trembling, a reminder of what had just happened. 

“That was… So hot…” Jaebeom couldn’t stop himself from blurting out. If someone would have told him before that he would get horny from a vampire bite… He wouldn’t have believed it. While it was true that he had been terrified when he had found out Jinyoung’s true nature… He had also been curious. 

How would it feel to have his blood sucked by him? 

How would it feel during sex…?

He couldn’t even think about it.

Jaebeom felt lightheaded.

He felt like he was about to float away. 

Suddenly, he felt a wet sensation on his wrist again. In a daze, he saw Jinyoung closing his lips around the wound briefly, swiping his tongue over it leaving a trace of red. Crimson like his eyes. Jinyoung blinked and suddenly his eyes slowly melted back to their warm chocolate. The red mark on his wrist was the only proof left of what had happened. 

“What?” 

“I cleaned the wound and used some of my blood so it’ll heal quicker,” Jinyoung said. How could he be so relaxed after what had happened? Jaebeom felt sweat running down the back of his neck, his t-shirt sticking to his body. “You might feel lightheaded for a while. I didn’t extract a lot of blood so you’ll be fine. I can use my blood if you want…”

“No, I... “ Jaebeom let himself fall back on the bed and took a deep breath. “Can I use your shower?” 

“Of course, make yourself comfortable and take your time.”

“I’ll just shower and come back downstairs after.” 

“Okay…” Jinyoung kissed him softly on his forehead. A sweet caress. “Will you be alright?”

“Yes…” Jaebeom put a hand on Jinyoung’s neck and pulled him towards him, closing the distance to lay a kiss on his lips. “I’ll see you downstairs.” Jaebeom smiled. 

“Okay…” Jinyoung nodded and caressed his thigh before standing up from the bed. He took the vessel with Jaebeom’s blood and left the bedroom. 

That had been one hell of an experience. 

***

Far away, Mark was smiling. He knew what was going to happen, and it was happening even before the party he’d arranged. He knew they would find out soon. The wheels of destiny were in motion… and he was sure the party was going to play an important role. 

***

At the library, Youngjae had turned off his phone. He was lost in books, papers and digital archives of the past. He needed to find something. There was no time left. 


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so... here we are, guys, with the final chapter! thank you so much for joining us in this journey, it means a lot to have you reading, leaving kudos and sharing your thoughts with us! we really hope this ending meets your expectations, since we tried really hard to put all the pieces together... with some drama&angst (it was impossible not to!! 😭)! thanks again to lore and varichina, of course, and thanks to all of you for giving us a chance! see you all... in our little epilogue 🥺❤

Jaebeom was on his bed looking at the ceiling. Two days had passed since the ritual, but the time didn’t seem to be enough for him to digest what happened even though he had given it a lot of thought. He tried to avoid thinking about Jinyoung sucking his blood since it always made him intensely aroused. Well, among other things.

He had to take the edge off, right? As had happened that evening, at Jinyoung's house, when he had taken a shower. The pleasure… had been incredible, but he had felt guilty. What was he doing, while the others had been waiting in the basement to help him uncover the truth about himself?

He had been quick, though, showering and taking care of his obvious excitement. When he had gone downstairs, Bambam was still working on the sigil with his blood on the floor. Jinyoung had looked at him, concerned, even if deep down he just wanted to grab his wet hair and do all sorts of things to him. And Jaebeom wouldn’t have refused, in other circumstances, and they could see it each time their eyes met. 

And Jaebeom was sure Jinyoung knew what that shower had meant. 

_ How embarrassing. _

The ceremony took what had felt like hours to Jaebeom, but Bambam's hypnotic chants were mesmerizing. He had started reciting things in a strange language he couldn't understand while finishing the sigil. Then, he had placed the silver brooch in the center of the sigil, and immersed it in the rest of the blood. With his eyes closed, he had whispered something inaudible, and a cold air had filled the room.

Jaebeom closed his eyes and sighed. He could still see Bambam's surprised look, could still hear the words he had said after the brooch had suddenly shattered in a blast.

_ Unbelievable.  _

The doubts had been clarified. 

Jaebeom opened his eyes and sat up on the bed. It was almost time. He had promised Jackson that he would go to the party, and he needed to get himself ready. Jinyoung would be there, too, and his friends were also invited. And Mark. He felt shivers going down his spine at the thought.

_ Cupid. _

Jaebeom was starting to get anxious. What if he was being played by destiny? 

_ I saw it. There's a connection. Both of you have the same soul… and you're waking up. _

Bambam had seen it, the thread that bound his soul to the past… or was it that another person's soul was bound to his body? Anyway, the truth was that Jaebeom, as he was now, was the reincarnation of some past  _ Jaebeom _ he didn't know…

But Jackson and Jinyoung did.

It was weird. He didn't feel at all different. He was still himself, with his habits and tastes. He still liked Jinyoung. However, he was afraid his attraction wasn’t entirely his own choice, but something determined by supernatural powers. And on top of that, he was afraid Jinyoung might only like him because of his connection to his past love… and not for being himself, the actual one. The Lim Jaebeom from the present.

He was a mess, but still wanted to see Jinyoung. They hadn't talked about the ritual, nor the things they had discovered. They had agreed to talk about it later, after they had digested the information, so Jaebeom got up and went to shower before getting dressed.

Yeah.  _ Another _ shower.

When he entered the bathroom, his eyes slid to the mirror hanging over the sink. He looked at himself. He was still in his pajamas, his disheveled hair falling over his shoulders, a tuft tucked behind behind one of his ears. There was something fresh in his reflection, though, something that made him feel kind of different. Renewed. 

The day before, he had gotten an anti-eyebrow piercing. It was something impulsive. He was just going for a walk when he saw the place and decided that he needed a change. He needed something that set him apart from the past. It wasn’t because he was a reincarnation. It had nothing to do with his insecurities or his fears. It was just something he had wanted to do for a long time… And it had been the perfect timing. A cancelled appointment, an empty spot and something inside of him saying that it would make a difference. 

He  _ needed _ that. 

He wasn’t a substitute, nor a replacement. He was just Lim Jaebeom…

And secretly, deep down in his heart, he wanted Jinyoung to love him for who he was. Jaebeom didn’t want him to fall in love with him just because of some twisted destiny. He wanted Jinyoung to feel right in any situation, but he wanted him by his side. He wanted to cure, not erase, the painful things that had happened to him.

He couldn’t admit it yet, but Jaebeom was terrified. 

He was only just realizing that he was afraid of their story being something out of his control.

***

For the casual party, Jaebeom had picked out an orange turtleneck jersey, black ripped pants and casual sneakers. He wore a necklace with a yin yang pendant and put his hair up in a ponytail, his bangs brushing against his cheeks when they fell out from behind his ears. With a leather jacket on top, he was stunning, but that wouldn’t hide how nervous he really was. Which was why he still hadn’t gone in. 

“Hey,” said someone behind him. Before looking he already knew who it was. Mark Tuan. His voice was unmistakable. “I see that you finally made it.”

“Think so…” Jaebeom answered.

“But you already know,” Mark said. When Jaebeom turned to look at him, he saw his satisfied smile. “I hope this time… it finally works. I’m tired, and it’s really sad… So, remember to kiss him,” the purple haired guy whispered. 

“What? What has to work?”

But Mark was already gone, disappearing through the door. Jaebeom shook his head and sighed, a strange dizziness looming over him. Mark may have been talking about his  _ relationship _ —or whatever it was, since they hadn’t really labeled it yet—with Jinyoung. Jaebeom tried to put those thoughts away and assured himself that he was the one in charge of his decisions, not destiny.

Nor Cupid.

When he finally joined the party, the music was playing low and Jinyoung was waiting for him near the bar. Yugyeom, as always, was socializing, Jackson was in a corner with Mark, and Jaebeom didn't see his friends.They would probably arrive later, at least Bambam would. Youngjae had spent the past few days in the library and it had been difficult to talk to him, even more to see him, so Jaebeom was sure he wouldn't come. He must have a really important assignment to finish.

Jaebeom walked over to Jinyoung and sat down next to him. Thankfully, the music hadn’t gotten too loud yet, and they could talk comfortably without being heard.

"How are you?" fell out of Jinyoung's lips as soon as Jaebeom smiled over at him.

"I'm fine… Sometimes a little dizzy, but I'm okay… You?" he answered.

Their eyes met and Jinyoung, with worried eyes, looked at his cheek, the one with the anti-eyebrow piercing. He whistled in appreciation and moved his eyes back to meet Jaebeom’s.

"If you aren't feeling well, we can leave," he said, and added, "You got a new piercing. It suits you." 

His lips curved upwards in a mischievous smile. Jaebeom's heart skipped a beat. He was gorgeous, dressed simply in blue jeans and a white turtleneck sweater, paired with a white coat.

"Thank you," Jaebeom said.

He felt his heart start to pound under Jinyoung's intense gaze. He tried to clear his mind by asking for a drink, this time an alcohol-free one. He wasn't in the mood for drinking. Alcohol always blurred his mind and right now he wanted to stay awake to talk to Jinyoung… to enjoy his company.

Next to him, Jinyoung couldn't tear his eyes away from Jaebeom's piercing. He liked the one on his nose, but this one had a different vibe. It was something that wouldn't suit everybody, but there was Jaebeom, looking sexier than ever. When he looked back at him again after ordering his drink, he couldn't hold back. He raised his hand to caress his cheek, moving closer and closer to the piercing. Jaebeom winced slightly but said nothing, their eyes fixed on each other. Jinyoung tilted his head towards Jaebeom's.

The attraction was too overwhelming.

Their breath melted together sweetly, bringing them closer to heaven. Their lips were almost touching, need pressing against their bodies as if it were a matter of life and death. Jinyoung closed his eyes and Jaebeom followed, both of them anticipating what was to come. 

But a voice echoed inside Jaebeom's head.

_ Remember to kiss him. _

Jaebeom froze and moved away from Jinyoung. He had been caught off guard and didn’t realize what he had done until he looked into Jinyoung’s eyes, filled with pain and confusion. Jinyoung pulled his hand away from Jaebeom’s cheek and looked down at his drink, trying to pretend that nothing had happened. It was complicated, though, and Jaebeom felt the need to explain himself. There was already enough pain in their lives, he didn’t want to add even more. Jaebeom didn’t want the lack of communication to break things.

“Look,” he started, his mouth dry and his voice trembling with nervousness. “I…”

“You don’t need to explain,” Jinyoung interrupted him, a little smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes dancing on his lips. Jaebeom knew it wasn’t genuine, but he couldn’t blame him. “After all that’s happened, it’s normal.”

“No,” Jaebeom insisted. He didn’t know what to say. “Look… You know these past few days have been crazy. We found out about my… my  _ connection _ … But that’s not the only thing I’ve discovered.” He took in a deep breath, touching the can of soda he’d ordered. “Mark is Cupid. I know it may sound crazy, but… it makes sense. He knows about us, he created that app… And he told me that he’d been the one that first put us together… A long time ago.”

Jinoyung nodded. “I knew there was something strange about his aura. So that’s how it is…” he said.

“I saw him outside before,” Jaebeom added. “He told me to kiss you… and now…”

Jinyoung put a hand on his knee to calm him. The warm touch made Jaebeom’s heart beat faster, especially when his fingers brushed against the bare skin of his leg where his pants were ripped. But he still felt uneasy.

“You have doubts. It’s okay, hyung, I understand.” Jinyoung got closer, Jaebeom’s legs trapped between his own. “But I don’t think that’s the only thing that’s bothering you.”

No, it wasn’t. There was more, and Jinyoung had just given him the chance to be sincere. 

“I’ve been thinking about the… ritual,” he whispered. “To be honest… I can’t stop thinking about it, having doubts.”

“It’s alright, hyung… Just take your time. I understand… We’ll get through-” Jinyoung put a hand on Jaebeom’s shoulder. Jaebeom didn’t relax under his touch, though. The tension wouldn’t leave his body. 

“Stop it…” Jaebeom said tensely, as if his vocal cords were about to snap. “How can you be so chill and understanding about this?” He felt tears starting to form in the corner of his eyes and he blinked rapidly to make them disappear. The cacophony of feelings he had bottled up until that moment were starting to overflow. They were a ticking bomb about to explode... that would probably destroy what they had. “I don’t feel like I’m myself anymore. I feel like at any moment I could stop being me. That he would take over my body and that I would disappear. You can’t imagine how that terrifies me…"

Jinyoung didn’t say a word. He just kept listening, looking at him. 

“But that isn’t the worst… I keep analysing everything. How everything felt right from the very beginning. How we instantly clicked. I thought it was because we had common interests, because we understood each other, because there was a connection there… As if it was meant to be. But what if it was **meant to be**? What if I’m not making my own decisions? What if we’re doing what destiny is expecting us to do? How can I know that you don’t love me because, in a way, I’m him? We share the same soul. I feel… I don’t know… I feel like a ghost.” The tension was unbearable, as if his body was being petrified but his heart was fighting against it. As if he was being buried alive, and the remaining oxygen was almost gone. He couldn’t breathe. “But the thing that terrifies me the most is… I can’t stop loving you… But at the same time I keep thinking that I’m not enough. As if I’m only a substitute, who can’t be as good as him. And it breaks my heart...” Jaebeom couldn’t stop himself from sobbing and letting go. He felt embarrassed, crying in the backyard of a stranger’s house, in front of the love of his life, while everybody else was inside having fun. He wished the ground would swallow him up. 

Because, as he had just realized, that was it. He was in love with Jinyoung.

“You’re nothing like him…" Jinyoung’s voice broke. When Jaebeom looked towards him, he saw Jinyoung’s eyes glinting in crimson. “I’ve been thinking about it… For a long time, I’ve been thinking why it felt right… It couldn’t be just destiny or whatever it was. It couldn’t be that simple. And I came to the conclusion that… You aren’t anything like him.” Jinyoung chuckled anxiously. 

Jaebeom was speechless. 

“I think that after he died… I’ve never gotten over it. I never let myself mourn him.” Jinyoung wasn’t looking at him, lost in his faded memories. “When I woke up… He wasn’t there. Jackson told me that he was dead and that he had buried him. I fled from Jackson. I could because newborn vampires are stronger and faster than older vampires. On top of that… They are unstable. That’s why they’re dangerous and they have to be controlled by their master. One day Jackson found me lying on his grave with the objects, talking by myself. Probably repeating the words he had told me. I can’t even remember…” He chuckled, bitterly. “It isn’t uncommon for newborn vampires to go insane. Jackson said I did, or that at least I got close to that. I was lucky that Jackson was my master, otherwise I could have gotten killed. No one wants to deal with that.” He sighed. “But even when I was more stable I… I never got over it. Remember when Jackson mentioned my ‘sugar daddies’?” Jinyoung drew invisible quotation marks with his fingers and Jaebeom nodded blankly. “Well… I never even really talked about this with Jackson but… Even when I started going to parties and meeting people… I created a barrier. I started to… Have one-night stands and brief relationships with men older than me. Well, that looked older than me. Older men that were attracted to my boyish looks, who would treat me well and shower me with riches in exchange for being their companion and sexual partner. I was hooked on the seduction, being seduced and especially being pampered, feeling both protected and appreciated. But none of that really worked… You know why?”

“Why?” Jaebeom asked. He couldn’t even think, he was overwhelmed by his feelings and by Jinyoung’s story.

“I was addicted to it. But that was only a temporary relief. I felt so cursed by a past I couldn’t even fully remember. No matter how many diaries I wrote… I couldn’t capture everything.” Jinyoung looked at him. His eyes were a galaxy, the gaze of someone who held the weight of history. “I think the reason why it didn’t work is because I was subconsciously looking for in them what he had given to me. The protection, the security, feeling taken care of and appreciated. Feeling adored. They were all substitutes… Placeholders… But that wasn’t enough. I’ve never let him go… Until now… Paradoxical, right?”

“I… I don’t understand. Shouldn’t this be the same case?”

“I’ve never felt like that with you… I…” Jinyoung came back to reality. He looked at him, his gaze full of emotion. “Jackson knows me better than I know myself. He’s always one step ahead… Now I understand why he wanted me to use the app… The blind date and everything... And everything…” Jaebeom was confused… He didn’t understand what Jinyoung was talking about. “He wanted me to open myself up to someone. To find someone to open myself up to. Without even realizing it, I started sharing myself with you. But you aren’t pliant. Well… My charm doesn’t even work with you…” Jinyoung chuckled. "You stand by what you believe. You never tried to protect me. I think what made me fall in love with you is… That you treat me like an equal.

_ Fall in love. _

"So…" Jaebeom tried to say.

"So… They may have helped us meet, but… We opened our hearts to each other because we wanted to and… I…" Jinyoung looked at him, a little smile curving on his lips. "I think our feelings are authentic… I love you for you, because of what you make me feel… because when I’m with you, I can forget my insecurities and be the person I've always wanted to be. Without blindfolds."

Jaebeom had never felt so excited. Jinyoung's words seemed like a cure, long awaited, like a potion that could heal every wound. Even if the dizziness in his head didn't disappear, the warmth comforted him. To love and be loved in return… He’d dreamed of it since he was young and he had finally found the right person. There would be obstacles, of course, but they would face them together.

"I love you, Jinyoung," he whispered, interlacing their fingers. "I'm sure. And I'm not going to kiss you right now because I don't want Mark to win, but I can assure you that I would love to do it later."

Jinyoung couldn't help but chuckle and touched his forehead to Jaebeom's softly. It was intimate and natural.

"I really like Mark, especially for Jackson, but… I agree. We're not going to let him win." Jinyoung nuzzled Jaebeom's nose with his own. "I am going to hug you, though. I've been dying to do it."

Jaebeom smiled and nodded. 

Jinyoung leaned into the short distance that separated them and hugged him, laying his head on Jaebeom’s shoulder. 

“I love you,” Jinyoung whispered into his ear. “I wanted to say it for so long… I couldn’t bring myself to do it because it felt wrong. But now it’s the right time. I love you, Lim Jaebeom. I love you for who you are.”

Jinyoung felt Jaebeom wrap his arms around him, how he started to gently rub his back. He felt like a chapter of his life had finally ended, and he was ready to start a new one with Jaebeom. 

When the golden threads of light had shone from the crimson sigil and the bloody brooch, he had been afraid their suspicions would be confirmed. When they were, it seemed as if destiny was playing tricks on him. He must be cursed. How could he ask Jaebeom to be with him after that was revealed? It wasn’t fair.

But after that conversation, he knew they would be alright. The hug they shared didn’t mean they wouldn’t face problems in the future, or that they would never argue. Those things were unavoidable. Jaebeom’s identity was a huge issue, a fundamental to their relationship. If they weren’t able to come to terms with it, it could have meant the end of what they had. 

But they had done it. 

They were unstoppable. 

_ Oh, how wrong he was.  _

Suddenly, Jaebeom’s arms fell. He felt Jaebeom’s whole weight fall on him. His chin resting on his shoulder. 

That wasn’t a problem for him… He was strong enough, but…

He had a bad feeling. 

He rubbed Jaebeom’s back. 

No answer.

“Jaebeom?” he asked. 

_ No… _

No answer.

_ It can’t be…  _

_ No… Not again… _

“Jaebeom?” he said a little louder.

_ Please answer.  _

_ Jaebeom… Please… _

No answer.

Jinyoung put his hands on his shoulders and moved him away. He didn’t raise his head. His eyes were closed. 

He was breathing, his chest moving up and down… 

Something was off...

He shook him by his shoulders. 

He touched his cheeks, hoping for a response that wouldn’t seem to come. 

A tear ran down Jinyoung’s cheek.

Still no answer. 

“JAEBEOM!” 

He kept shaking him, doing anything to try to wake him. 

Even though Jackson was somewhere inside, he sensed Jinyoung’s distress through their vampire connection and instantly came to his side. 

“What…?” Jackson asked. Jinyoung was clinging to Jaebeom, his eyes turned crimson. Ever since he had been a newborn vampire, that was one of the things he had the most difficulty controlling. Even in the present, Jinyoung’s eyes would turn red whenever he felt any strong emotions. Maybe he had done something wrong as a master. Maybe it was a remnant of Jinyoung’s journey through insanity. 

But at that moment…

Jackson felt like he was reliving the past. 

Like he was seeing Jinyoung back in that tomb, his pale skin stained by the dirt he had dug up with his own hands trying to find his dead lover, who Jackson had buried so far away to keep him from finding him. 

Jinyoung lying there embracing the what he had left of his lover. Talking to himself. Far away. 

Jinyoung sitting on that bench, crying holding Jaebeom.

_ Did I fail him as a master? _

It was heartbreaking. 

“Why, Jackson? Why won’t he wake up?”

***

Just a moment ago, he had been embracing Jinyoung, their bodies flush, his hands caressing his back. 

And then everything went black.

Jaebeom could see absolutely nothing, not even his own body, although he could still feel it. He stretched out his hands and felt only thick, cold air slipping from his fingers. He was engulfed in a vacuum, barely able to breathe, and his heart started to pound. 

_ Jaebeom._

He jumped in surprise when a somber, disembodied voice spoke his name. He couldn’t figure out where it was coming from. The voice surrounded him, wrapped around him like the summer breeze on a beach, haunting like an echo coming back from a deep well. It seemed to come from everywhere, even from his own mind, without being a part of it. It was such a strange feeling, he wasn't sure how to react.

“Who’s there?” he asked. 

He was afraid to move. How could he walk around when he couldn’t see? It was like his vision had been erased, enhancing his touch and hearing. 

_ You know who I am. _

Jaebeom started to tremble. What was this place? 

“I don’t,” he shouted. “Let me go home.”

_ You can’t. Our destiny won’t allow you to. _

Jaebeom, desperate, started to run blindly, looking for a way out. But it didn't matter how much he ran. Everything was still blanketed in darkness, the same cold, consuming him to the bone. He could feel his breath freezing, his body an ice floe. Breathless, he stopped and fell to his knees, holding his head with his hands. Tears were starting to fall from his eyes.

“What do you mean by ‘our destiny’?”

_ We are different individuals, but we are related by our soul. _

“You mean…” Jaebeom raised his head and saw, far afield, a blurred figure illuminated by flashes of silver. It seemed to be a man, but he couldn’t make out his face. “You are  _ me_?”

_ No. I am me. You are you. We just happen to share the same soul… and love the same person. You love him now as much as I once loved him, but you have not realized it.  _

The echo was coming closer and closer as the figure walked towards him, but Jaebeom still couldn’t see him clearly. 

“What do you want? Are you here for my body?”

_ No, Jaebeom. I had my chance and so had the others before us. I am here to show you the past. I want to help you out of this, to break the curse that destroys our happiness. I want you to save him… But there’s nothing we can do.  _

Jaebeom was speechless. 

“What do you mean? Save Jinyoung?” he whispered.

_ He is the Jinyoung I love, but he is also another Jinyoung. He is different. And you are good for him. You heal him.  _

“What do I have to do?” Jaebeom asked.

His past incarnation didn’t answer, though.

Jaebeom was frozen, unable to even stand. Tears slid cruelly down his cheeks. He didn’t know how to put into words all the things he was feeling at that moment. Pain. Fear. Anxiety. But more than anything, an intense need to get out of that damn nightmare. He wanted to go back home. He wanted to laugh with his friends, to tease Bambam about his clothes and to sing along with Youngjae at karaoke. He wanted to get to know Yugyeom, Jackson and Mark better.

He wanted to be with Jinyoung, at least a little more. They had lost so much time... 

_ You can’t do anything. This is something that goes beyond destiny. It is a paradox. _

“What’s happening to me?” Jaebeom added, weakly. 

_ You are asleep. So for now… let me show you our history. Our soul. Our soulmate curse.  _

Jaebeom looked at the hand offered. Still crying, he reached out to it as if it was his only salvation. 

***

Youngjae closed the book, eyes wide as if he’d had an epiphany. 

After spending so much time at the library, consulting all kinds of documents and strange books, he’d finally found the answer he’d been looking for. It hadn’t been written in any of the papers he’d consulted, though. It was something straightforward. Something obvious. That was the only possible solution… 

But it was cruel and ironic at the same time. 

His phone vibrated for the thousandth time and he finally took a look at it. So many phone calls… So many messages…

But the last one from Bambam made him pale and curse lowly. 

He didn’t care about leaving the books and documents for someone to put back in place. He didn’t care that he was unshaven and disheveled, with dark bags under his eyes. He was scared, tears starting to form in the corners of his eyes. 

“No… please, no…” he whispered as he reached for the library door. 

There was only one thing to worry about. 

_ Jaebeom hyung. _

***

At the hospital, everyone was silent. No one in the corridor dared say a word. They were just waiting for a doctor to come out and say everything was okay. That Jaebeom was awake and doing fine. 

Mark and Jackson were leaning their backs against the wall, their heads bowed, looking at the floor. Yugyeom and Bambam were sitting in the chairs for visitors, the latter squeezing Yugyeom's hand. Jinyoung… He was sitting on the floor, his head hung low, arms embracing his legs. He didn't want to talk to anyone, and had been like that the past half hour. 

When Youngjae arrived, nothing had changed. He ran over to them, his face dripping with sweat, his eyes wet.

"How is he? Is he…?" 

He was afraid to ask, afraid of knowing the truth. What if he was already too late? What if Jaebeom hadn't made it?

"They're running some tests, but… he hasn’t woken up," Bambam said, approaching. "He's in a coma." He was in shock, a distant look on his face.

Youngjae closed his eyes. This couldn't be happening. No. He didn't want to believe it.

"We need to help him. I need to fix this," he whispered. "I might know a way… even if it's..."

He looked at Jinyoung and the others followed his gaze.

"He needs to die."

Jinyoung, still sitting on the floor, raised his head to look at him. Jackson moved closer to him, ready to fight anyone that dared to come closer.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Jackson asked.

"Let me explain…"

"There has to be another solution," Mark intervened. "We haven't found it yet."

"A solution to what?" Jinyoung's voice was low, ethereal, full of sadness. It was the first time he had talked since Jaebeom had passed out. He even got up from the floor and approached Youngjae, his eyes still glistening and red from the tears. "What do you know that we don't?" He looked from Youngjae to Mark, and then back to Youngjae.

But they didn't get the chance to speak.

"Lim Jaebeom's relatives?"

They all turned to look at the doctor that had just entered the corridor through a white door.

"We'll have the results of the tests soon. We're moving Mr. Lim to room 377, but only one person can stay with him."

Jackson's eyes focused on the doctor and for a second, there was a glimpse of confusion in his look. Then, everything seemed normal again.

Except for the doctor. He seemed absentminded.

"We're all staying with him. Don't tell anybody and don't worry. You'll think that there's only one relative in the room."

The doctor nodded.

Jinyoung had already reached the elevator. 

***

_ The air felt light. This time, he could see everything clearly. _

_ They had been together for a long time and no one had ever found out…  _

_ Until that day.  _

_ Jaebeom’s father had discovered the romance between his son, the heir of his kingdom, and a servant. It was a forbidden relationship and he was infuriated. His son was supposed to get married and provide a son, an heir to the empire, and daughters to create valuable alliances.  _

_ But they were together in bed. Two men sharing detestable feelings.  _

_ “Kill that bastard!” _

_ There was nowhere to run. They couldn’t escape the guards, and that particular room didn’t have a secret passage.  _

_ Jaebeom panicked. They were going to kill Jinyoung.  _

_ But suddenly, he appeared. His powers were all they needed.  _

_ Jackson was there to save them. He was there to help Jaebeom save Jinyoung. And he did… _

_ But Jaebeom was already sick. _

_ He would never see his father again.  _

***

When they arrived at the room, they were in shock. Jaebeom was intubated to help him stay alive, his skin pale and dull. He didn’t seem alive, even if he was. They closed the door to the room and stood in the corridor trying to think. Trying to understand.

It was so painful to see him like that, especially for Jinyoung. He was losing his beloved once again. And he could do nothing… Absolutely nothing… Or…

“You said there was a solution, Youngjae… I don’t care what it is, just tell me,” he said, his voice broken, his eyes full of pain. 

“As I was saying…” Youngjae took a deep breath. It was difficult to think about it, but it was a hundred times more complicated to say it out loud. “You need to die.”

Jackson looked like he was about to fight Youngjae again, but Mark held him back. Jinyoung didn’t even notice, he was lost. He needed Youngjae to keep talking. 

“Why?” Jinyoung’s voice was almost a whisper. 

“I… I’m a grim reaper.” Youngjae answered. “Some people call us ‘angels of death’ or ‘moirai’. We watch over the thread of life of every human. I regained my memories a few days ago and… I kept looking for a way to solve this… But...”

Everyone was looking at him. That was unexpected. Youngjae was… a grim reaper? Was he here to take Jaebeom’s soul?

“A long time ago… I…” Youngjae continued, his voice trembling. “I was the one that was in charge of reaping Jinyoung’s soul. That was a fixed point in time. However, something happened. Someone else died in his place and that altered time. For my crimes, I was exiled and condemned to wander Earth with my memories erased… And I would only get them back at the last moment, like now...” He looked Jinyoung in the eye. “Jaebeom died for you… And both of you became trapped in a paradox. You were bound to each other, condemned to reincarnate and relive, to sometimes share your feelings and sensations, but Jaebeom would always die. Your love would never last. That’s your soulmate curse.”

The last words were a whisper. 

Jinyoung looked at him. He was starting to understand. The cold. The inebriation. The heart beating. All the things he couldn’t have explained otherwise. 

The others couldn’t talk.

“To break the paradox, to save Jaebeom… you need to die. That’s the only solution I could find,” Youngjae added. “When you turned into a vampire, something changed. You broke your own lifeline, so you can’t reincarnate anymore… but our hyung… He’s still trapped.”

Jackson struggled against Mark’s hold. Yugyeom felt as if something was breaking inside him. Bambam couldn’t say a word.

Jinyoung closed his eyes. Everything around him was a blur, surreal. He couldn’t hear his friends speaking. He couldn’t see anything. He just wanted to make the right decision. 

It would be difficult. It would hurt everyone. 

But he needed to return the favor. He needed to save Jaebeom. He had already died once, and it wasn’t fair that he was the only one to always survive. 

“I’m going to do it, and I don’t want any of you to fight. Jackson, promise me.” Jinyoung rushed to Jackson’s side and held his cheeks. “Please. He’s suffered enough…”

“What about you, Jinyoung? What about  _ us_?” Jackson whispered, his eyes turning crimson. 

“I need to do it,” Jinyoung whispered, forcing a sad smile to try to calm him. “I’ll always be in your heart. And you have Yugyeom.”

Jackson wanted to fight back. He wanted to say no. He didn’t want to lose his best friend. He didn’t want to see him die. But he knew that he had already decided. That nothing could convince him otherwise.

That kind of love was the strongest feeling in the world, even if it hurt.

Jackson took Jinyoung’s hand between his and pressed against it. It was a gesture of understanding. 

Yugyeom, behind them, started to cry.

“Can I at least see him one last time?” Jinyoung asked looking at Bambam and Youngjae. 

No one could say no. 

Jinyoung rushed to his side as the door closed behind him.

Jaebeom was a ghost of who he had been. Tubes attached to his body to keep him alive, his eyes closed, his pale lips dry. 

_ “Why, Jackson? Why doesn’t he wake up?” _

Outside the room, a thought had popped into Bambam’s head after hearing Youngjae say this was the only choice they had. A thought like the throbbing pain of a migraine. 

_ Since when do you feel pity for vampires? _

Bambam sat up and Yugyeom looked at him, pitifully. Eyes still wet with crimson tears. His hand grabbing his wrist in a plea.

He was not only going to lose his master. 

His first best friend. 

His brother. 

“Bammie…” Yugyeom’s voice broke. 

It shattered his heart. He wanted to reassure him… But there was nothing he could do. 

The idea resurfaced. 

He stood up. 

It seemed like hours, but only ten minutes had passed since Jinyoung entered Jaebeom’s room. He was laying on his bed, his back to the door. Bambam couldn’t see his face, but he felt something break inside him. He was seeing a heartbroken farewell. The last.

_ How hard is this going to be? _

He got closer to the bed and saw that Jinyoung was holding one of Jaebeom’s hands, caressing it. His wet crimson eyes were fixed on Jaebeom. As if his stare could wake him up. 

_ Didn’t know vampires could cry.  _

“Is it time?” Jinyoung asked weakly, eyes never leaving Jaebeom. A prisoner that had accepted his death sentence. A vampire who had decided to give up his immortality to save a human.

_ Even prisoners on a death row are granted their last wish. _

Ever since he had opened his eyes, he could see how much Jinyoung cared about him. How they had overcome their challenges. How they helped each other heal their wounds. 

They deserved closure. 

“I can help you say goodbye to Jaebeom…” Bambam said.

“What?” He looked at him with red eyes. 

“I can’t guarantee that you would wake up, and I would have to use most of my magic but… I can help you enter his mind…”

***

_ Jaebeom ran. _

_ Far, far away from the castle. Far away from the boring classes about politics, economy and everything a future heir had to learn.  _

_ Those classes were a waste of time. Father wouldn’t ever understand.  _

_ Far away.  _

_ Just a little bit more.  _

_ “Got you!” Jaebeom turned his head towards the source of the voice.  _

_ He had seen that kid before. He was always alone.  _

_ “Why are you always running away, Nora?” The other kid was lecturing the cat.  _

_ Cute. _

_ The other kid came out from the bushes, precariously holding a siamese cat in his arms. When the cat saw Jaebeom, she jumped over to him and started to rub her head against Jaebeom’s ankles.  _

_ “Oh!” The other kid flustered, as if he had been caught doing something he shouldn’t be. He bowed. “I’m sorry, Your Highness.” _

_ “Oh, you don't have to call me that!” Jaebeom said. “My name is Jaebeom! Do you want to be my friend?” The prince held out his hand. _

_ “We shouldn’t…” _

_ “You’re always alone. I thought you might want some company…” _

_ The other still seemed doubtful. _

_ “Be my friend!” Jaebeom smiled, his eyes disappearing into crescents.  _

_ The other reached out to take his hand.  _

_ “What’s your name?” _

“Why are you asking?”

_ “What?” _

“Remember.” 

_ Jaebeom shook his head in disbelief. That kid was really something.  _

***

Jinyoung was put to sleep holding Jaebeom’s hands, Bambam’s eyes glowing a vivid violet as magic flowed from him towards them. 

His last meal with Jaebeom before the tragic ending to their story. 

They had already talked about it. Jackson would help him with the sacrifice. A life for a life. Jackson had been his creator and now he would be his executioner. A beginning and an end. 

Jackson, Mark, Youngjae and Yugyeom were sitting on the floor beside the bed, watching the others. 

“Did you know about this?” Jackson turned towards Mark. He knew he was Cupid, a god. There was no way he didn’t know about this. His presence couldn’t be a coincidence.

“Of course…” Mark answered. “I made the match the first time and I kept making it every time they reincarnated… But… I didn’t think this would happen so soon. It was supposed to take more time...” Mark sighed. “It wasn’t easy for me, either, but I couldn’t tell you. I’m so sorry, Jackson…”

Jackson nodded. He understood. Supernatural laws differed from those in the human world, sometimes causing big calamities. However, Yugyeom didn’t. 

He was still young, he hadn’t lost as much as the others. This was the first time he was experiencing tragedy as a vampire, with his overdeveloped senses. It was incredibly difficult to control yourself when something like this happened, and Jackson, unfortunately, knew first-hand since he had lost his own master a long time ago. Even if he couldn’t remember him anymore, he still felt how much it hurt… just like what he was feeling at that very moment. 

He wasn’t just losing a member of his vampire clan. 

He was losing his best friend. His  _ brother _ . The only person that had been with him for centuries, even when things got complicated. Jinyoung had always been there, and they had overcome their difficulties together. 

Jackson was losing a part of himself. A part of his heart. 

He knew exactly what Yugyeom was feeling. Even if Jackson could control himself after so many years of being a vampire, his little pupil couldn’t. There was still so much for him to learn, yet… now he wouldn’t have Jinyoung by his side, teaching and helping him.

Jackson understood how unfair the supernatural world was. The younger vampire still didn’t. 

That was why, in the blink of an eye, Yugyeom had moved towards Youngjae and put a hand on his neck. His eyes were red, a tear running down his cheek. 

“So I have to lose my hyung because of you?” Yugyeom asked, tightening his grip. “You were the one who failed. Isn’t it your fault?”

“Yugyeom, calm down,” Jackson warned, putting a hand on his shoulder. Yugyeom was still a young vampire. Volatile. Even more because Jinyoung—his master—wasn’t watching over him at that moment. 

“Is it?!” Yugyeom cried. “Fix this! Save my master! How can you be so calm when my hyung has to die?”

“What do you think Jinyoung would think if he saw you doing this? Would he want you to kill? To act like this?” Jackson asked. 

“He won’t be here. He’s going to die. Why does it matter? Why do you care?” Jackson forced him to loosen his hold on Youngjae and pushed him against the wall.

“If Youngjae hadn’t failed in his job, I would have never met Jinyoung. You wouldn't have, either. Why do I care? Do you think this is easy for me? I’m his master…” Jackson said, his voice charged with emotion.

_ Did I fail him as a master? _

“There’s nothing we can do, Yugyeom…” Jackson’s voice broke and he hugged Yugyeom. “It can’t be helped…”

***

_ Jinyoung whimpered under Jaebeom, his feet pressing against his lower back, chasing the pleasure. He needed a release, but, at the same time, he didn’t want that moment to end.  _

_ Their last moment of certainty. _

_ Their last moment on Earth, before war. A war bigger than them, that they didn’t understand. Battle was inevitable. Killing was something that had to be done.  _

_ However, they were starting to doubt. Being a warrior was an honor… But what was the price? Sacrificing oneself for the conflict between kingdoms? _

_ Jaebeom kissed his neck, sending a shock down his spine. He didn’t care if he would have a mark the following day.  _

_ The following day he wouldn’t survive. He had a strong feeling about that.  _

_ An omen.  _

_ An inescapable destiny.  _

_ A feeling that lingered when they were preparing for battle, suited in armor.  _

_ “Are you okay?” Jaebeom asked. “We’re going to survive. This battle will bring peace, that’s what everyone says.” _

_ Those promises were nothing more than battle cries.  _

_ “And I won’t let anything happen to you.” At that time, Jinyoung didn’t fully grasp the meaning of those words. Their implications. “Whatever it takes.” _

_ Whatever it takes.  _

_ The battle had been a bloodbath. Corpses to feed scavengers, and blood left to water the battlefield. Human sacrifices for a false promise. _

_ It was a miracle that Jaebeom was alive. Maybe it was true. Maybe they were going to survive.  _

_ Maybe they could live.  _

_ A hug in the middle of the desert.  _

_ Yes, they would make it.  _

_ “Jaebeom hyung, we made it!” Jaebeom held him with all his might, as if Jinyoung could disappear at any moment.  _

_ The grim reaper was crouching. Waiting to cut the thread.  _

_ Something that could only be seen from the corner of one’s eye.  _

_ Something not even the grim reaper could foresee.  _

_ Something that never happened. It was only a legend. A possibility only written down in theory books.  _

_ An act of love that could overcome fate and bound souls.  _

_ There were poems and songs written about soulmates, talking about it as ideal. Something lovers looked up to. An eternal red thread that binds lovers together. Sharing a soul was the ultimate act of love. _

_ The grim reaper knew better.  _

_ Being soulmates was a curse. A crimson paradox would keep them apart forever.  _

_ “Oh… Jaebeom… What have you done…?” The grim reaper opened his eyes in horror as he saw the bond between their souls. The knot in the thread of fate.  _

_ Jaebeom fell on his knees. He coughed blood as metal was burning his insides. The sword that was meant for Jinyoung.  _

_ In the blink of an eye, Jinyoung killed the attacker and fell to his knees. His hands were slippery with blood from trying to stop the bleeding.  _

_ “I told you that I wouldn’t let anything happen to you…" Blood flowed from Jaebeom’s mouth. “Whatever it takes…”  _

Jinyoung understood. 

“And I’m here to return the favor…” Jinyoung said.

The battlefield disappeared into thin air. 

“Jinyoung…?” Jaebeom finally regained consciousness after the flashback. What was Jinyoung doing in his dream? What was he doing in his memories? “Are you real?”

Jinyoung nodded. 

Suddenly, they were on the Ferris Wheel, where they had opened their hearts to each other. Jinyoung wasn’t wearing his armor anymore. He was wearing that caramel coloured suit, and his beige turtleneck. 

“How…?”

“Bambam helped me… He brought me into your mind.” Jaebeom couldn’t help it. It didn’t matter that that was a dream. He was there, even if it wasn’t in a physical form. He embraced Jinyoung, holding him tight, as if he could disappear at any moment. Jaebeom felt Jinyoung’s hands caress his back. He loved him so much. 

“I can’t stay long, though…” Jinyoung said, his chin resting on Jaebeom’s shoulder. “Bambam is a strong warlock but… His magic is still limited.”

_ I am here to show you the past. I want to help you out of this, to break the curse that destroys our happiness. I want you to save him… But there’s nothing we can do.  _

Past-Jaebeom had shown him their history. He had been lost in the fragments of memories of past lives. Now he understood. Was Jinyoung there to wake him up? 

“I came to say goodbye…” Jinyoung continued. 

“What?” Jaebeom broke the embrace and put his hands on his shoulders. Jinyoung looked miserable. “Am I… Am I… Dead?”

Jinyoung put a hand on his cheek and stared unblinkingly, as if to memorize his face. 

“No… You... You’re still in a coma. Doctors said that you may never wake up…”

Jaebeom opened his eyes wide in horror. 

No… It shouldn’t have happened like this… That was it? He was going to die? Now that things were finally getting better, he was going to die? He was supposed to live the rest of his life with Jinyoung and his friends. The people he loved. It was unfair. 

In a world full of supernatural beings, there wasn’t a solution for their problem? He refused to believe that.

Did Past-Jaebeom lie? How was he supposed to save Jinyoung when he was about to die, or at least… live the rest of his life in a coma? 

“Youngjae… Your friend, he… He told us he was a grim reaper. He told us that I was supposed to die once, in the past. It was his job… To reap my soul. That was a fixed point in time. But you avoided it by saving me and dying in my place... That… Caused an alteration in time and bound our souls. Like… ‘soulmates’...”

_ This is something that goes beyond destiny. It is a paradox. _

“Both of us were condemned to reincarnation, sharing what the other feels… But you keep dying until I die. The problem is… when I turned into a vampire… I cheated… Without even knowing it…” Jinyoung smiled bitterly. 

_ Our soulmate curse. _

“Youngjae thinks that the only way to save you is…” Jinyoung gulped. “If I die… That’s why I came… I wanted to say goodbye before…”

“What? No!” Jaebeom was horrified. How could he keep living knowing that Jinyoung died in his place? What kind of Shakespearean bullshit was that? “I can’t accept that.”

Jinyoung put his other hand on his face. He needed him to understand. 

“I made my choice… You have to respect that. There’s nothing that can be done.”

“You can’t choose for me…” Jaebeom felt tears in his eyes. “I don’t want to live knowing that you had to die in my place. That’s unfair!”

“Jaebeom! I want you to live!” Jinyoung looked desperate. “I’ve lived enough, but you and your reincarnations never had the chance... I know that you’ll hate me, but…” Jinyoung remembered how he hated Jackson at first for turning him into a vampire. How he… wanted to die. But he did his best. Time healed his wounds. “Even if you hate me… you’ll learn to live without me. You’ll heal. You’re strong enough.”

This was a nightmare. 

“I don’t have time… and I made my choice. Let me make my own choices as well, hyung.”

Jaebeom was speechless. Reflecting on what happened in the memory, he began to cry. 

_ He died.  _

Suddenly, a voice. 

“Jinyoung? Jaebeom?” They could hear Youngjae’s voice. They looked around, but only saw darkness and the reflection of the colours from the fireworks on the Ferris Wheel. 

“Can you hear me?”

***

“This feels really unfair…” Youngjae said. He was holding his head in his hands, on the verge of tears. “It isn’t fair for any of them. I feel so guilty…”

Mark rubbed his back, looking at the boys. 

“They’ll understand. What you had to do wasn’t easy, and ultimately wasn’t even your choice. It was your job.” He sighed. “Mine was difficult, too. To make them meet every time, knowing the ending they faced… It was horrible. When they were falling in love, I always felt emotional, proud. When their curse started to manifest, I always went mad. When Jinyoung died turning into a vampire…”

He stopped talking all of a sudden. It was as if he had a revelation. 

“Youngjae…” he whispered, turning to look him in the eye. “You said before… that Jinyoung broke his own lifeline when he died.”

Youngjae nodded, unsure why Mark had brought it up. 

“Yeah, he broke it when he turned into a vampire. Normally, humans have golden threads that indicate how long they’re going to live,” he said. “When he ‘died’, his thread just disappeared. Vampires are… free.”

Youngjae blinked. 

Mark nodded. 

“There may be another way!” they said in unison. 

Youngjae couldn’t help but laugh nervously. “How could I be so blind?” he said. 

***

The memory of the Ferris Wheel vanished into the void, leaving traces of warm stardust behind. 

Jaebeom was now in bed, wearing the undershirt he wore…

_ Damn. _

It was the death of past-Jaebeom—well, the past-Jaebeom he knew. 

There was something different, though. 

Jinyoung was sitting in front of him, wearing the same clothes he had worn when he was still human. But he looked like **his** Jinyoung. Vampire Jinyoung. The Jinyoung he knew, who had the gaze of someone who had gone through hell and back. 

“Hyung, you… You look different… You have the-” Jinyoung touched his nose ring, and then his antibrow piercing. It felt good. His mind must be playing tricks on him. “Why are we…?”

“Okay, lovebirds…” They turned their heads to look for the source of the voice. To their surprise, they saw Youngjae standing in the middle of Jaebeom’s bedroom. The reaper’s image faded from time to time, the same way ghosts were sometimes portrayed in movies.

“Youngjae…?” Jaebeom asked. “What are you doing here? Don’t tell me…”

“Yes… Bambam got me into your mind, too…” Youngjae replied. “Anyway… That’s not what’s important right now and I don’t know how much longer Bambam can hold on. I have something to tell you…”

Jinyoung and Jaebeom looked at him, speechless. 

“Maybe there is an alternative… I don’t know if it will work… This is unfamiliar territory, there isn’t anything written about it and it’s just a theory… Something Mark and I realized based on what happened to Jinyoung…”

“Please, Youngjae… Explain…” Jaebeom said. 

“If Jinyoung escaped the ‘soulmate curse’ by transforming into a vampire… Maybe you can too… Of course it isn’t an easy decision to make, it really can change your life, Jaebeom hyung. You would have to say goodbye to your human friends and family… you might not even survive the process. But I think it’s…” Youngjae’s image faded, white sound like a static TV. “... try. Okay… I have to go…” Youngjae's image reappeared again, almost transparent. “Think about it. If it happened once…” 

Youngjae’s time was up. 

Both of them were silent in that cabin full of their shared history, an atmosphere so tense it could be sliced by a knife.

“Yes,” Jaebeom said, almost immediately.

“What?” Jinyoung looked at him, shocked. “You need to think about it carefully, hyung. This change means to live forever. To lose things…”

“But if we succeed, I’ll be with you. And them.” Jaebeom smiled. The smile Jinyoung loved so much. “Bambam and Youngjae are my family. I have some other friends, true, but… They’re the most important ones. They helped me whenever I needed it. They’ve always been by my side, never judging. They love me because of who I am.” Jaebeom touched Jinyoung’s face. “I want to be with them. And I want to get to know Yugyeom, Jackson and Mark better. To spend more time with you…” He rested his forehead against Jinyoung’s. “It’s worth a try. I’m going to die anyway, if I have to go on without you,” he whispered. “So it’s a yes.”

Jinyoung closed the distance between them. 

“You’re crazy,” he murmured. 

He leaned in and kissed Jaebeom. Even if it was a dream, they could feel each other’s warmth, their need, the love they shared. It only lasted a moment, though, because it was time to go back to reality. 

Bambam had already used all his magic.

***

Jinyoung was incredibly nervous. He had given Jaebeom enough blood to turn at least two vampires, weakening himself in the process, but he didn’t want anything to go wrong. The transformation had to be a success, or he would blame himself for the rest of the eternity. He looked at Jaebeom, who was white as a sheet except for his reddish lips, stained with blood. His vital signs were weakening with every minute that passed. Jackson pressed against Jinyoung’s shoulder in encouragement. 

“It’s time. You need to do it,” his master whispered. 

Nobody could tear their eyes away from them. Jinyoung, sitting next to him, took Jaebeom’s hand and brought his lips to the skin of his arm. 

And then he bit him. 

Blood flowed into his mouth, an exquisite flavour. He drank and drank, anxious, his eyes fixed on Jaebeom’s face. He was waiting for his eyelashes to move. Maybe his lips. Or his nostrils. Anything. 

But he knew Jaebeom was dying. He was killing him. His dead heart ached as he stole Jaebeom’s life. 

_ It is to save him. _

“It would be faster if you bite him on the neck,” Mark suggested.

Everyone looked at him, but said nothing. 

They knew he was right.

Jinyoung put down Jaebeom’s arm after licking over the two punctures he had made with his teeth. Then, he moved to Jaebeom’s neck. 

When he bit directly into the carotid, the flow of the blood was much stronger. He swallowed, noticing how the beat of Jaebeom’s heart slowed, his flesh pulsing against Jinyoung’s lips. 

Youngjae watched his lifeline thread start to vanish.

Suddenly, it happened. 

Jaebeom’s heart stopped. 

The machine monitoring Jaebeom’s vital signs displayed a straight line. 

Jinyoung was shaking.

_ It was done. _

***

His senses were overwhelmed. 

_ “Did it work…?”  _

He knew the possibility of surviving and breaking the curse was slim. It was basically Jinyoung and Jaebeom against destiny. 

Regaining consciousness had to be a good sign, right?

“What will the council say?” Was that Jinyoung’s voice? He seemed worried. His voice sounded… Different. Maybe… He was the one that was different. 

“Jackson’s the council, hyung. There wasn’t a problem with me, remember? Stop worrying!” That was… Yugyeom? Why was everything so loud? He felt really overwhelmed. He hadn’t realized that transforming into a vampire would feel like a huge hangover. 

“I’m not the council but…” Jackson said. 

“You’re one of the members, Jackson hyung.” Yugyeom’s voice again. 

“The thing is… Stop worrying about that, Jinyoungie… The transformation was a success and you’re still here, and that’s everything that matters.” Jackson added. 

Jaebeom fluttered his eyelashes, trying to open his eyes. 

He felt weird as hell. 

“Oh, look he’s waking up! I’ll go get some blood bags! Good thing we’re in a hospital!” Yugyeom sounded really excited. 

He swallowed. 

His throat was so dry. 

He was so thirsty. 

He needed to drink something. 

He felt a weird sensation in his teeth. As if they were too big for his mouth. They hurt. The thirst and the sensation in his canines was so uncomfortable. It was starting to annoy him. He needed relief. 

“Ouch!” Jinyoung complained. Did something happen to him? Jaebeom felt anxious… but he didn’t feel his heart beat faster. It wasn’t beating at all. Okay… that was weird; it would take time getting used to it. 

He finally opened his eyes. Everything was… Too clear and… Somehow different. Like he had just put on a pair of 3D glasses… “Oh, look! A speck of dust floating!” He felt like a walking microscope. How was it that vampires weren’t constantly entertained? Unbelievable. 

Something went down this throat. It was delightful. He wanted more and more. His thirst was quenched. 

He heard Jinyoung whimpering again. 

Something flowing. 

_ Okay, Jaebeom, forget the speck of dust. _

_ Focus.  _

Jaebeom tried to focus on his surroundings. The first thing he saw in front of him—apart from that damned speck of dust—was skin. He could see different lines carved into the skin like a map. A beautiful engraving. 

He felt something move, strained. 

“Jaebeom…” Jinyoung said tensely. Was it his voice? Or did he hear it in his mind? That was weird… “Can you get your fangs off me, please? You’ll drink me dry…”

Jaebeom felt himself calm, as if Jinyoung’s voice pulled him back to reality. When he became aware…

_ Oh… _

His fangs were piercing Jinyoung’s wrist. 

_ That was embarrassing… _

He released Jinyoung and smiled, ashamed of what he had done. But he could barely control himself, and he was still hungry. 

“I feel… really weird. Oh my god, I’m so sorry…” Jaebeom covered his face. “Everything is…”

“Don’t worry, hyung,” Jinyoung said, his voice loud but angelic at the same time. “I’m going to teach you everything.”

“He’s a really good master. He raised Yugyeom pretty well,” Jackson added, his voice filled with pride and happiness. “And now we have a party to plan! We need to celebrate that my line has grown! Jinyoung is your master, so that makes me like, your supermaster!”

Jaebeom couldn’t help but laugh. 

“Thank you, guys…” he whispered. 

Then, he lifted his head. First, he looked at Jackson, smiling ear to ear. On his right side, Mark was looking at him, smiling brightly, something sparkling on one of his cheeks… Was that a tear? 

Youngjae and Bambam started to cry as soon as he looked at them. It was a scene. Both of them ran to the bed and threw themselves at Jaebeom, yelling “hyung” at the same time. 

“Stopstopstop,” Jaebeom begged, trying to control his hunger while covering his ears in a pitiful attempt to block the noise.

“Don’t worry, new-big-vampire brother!” Yugyeom said, entering the room. “Here! I’ve got plenty of food for you!”

Jaebeom was starving, but the unbearable desire for blood still felt weird. But that was his new life. Forever. 

_ You did it. You saved Jinyoung.  _

But that wasn’t entirely true. 

They, with their friends’ help, had saved each other. They had ended that sad story of death… They had broken their crimson colored paradox. 

They were starting again.

Together.


	7. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> finally... the epilogue! this is such a bittersweet goodbye, as we're excited to see ourselves finishing this project and seeing how this work has been received by you, guys, but at the same we feel sad as this is the very last chapter. we've had so much fun doing this and we've learned and grew up so much and we feel that this has given us so much courage and self confidence to keep writing. thank you so much, lore and vale, for supporting us so much in this project with your betareading and your art, and also your nice comments. also thank you so much to the readers that have given this fic a try and left comments. thank you, really! this is for you, guys! 
> 
> see you in our next adventure! ❤

Jaebeom wouldn’t stop biting. 

Newborn vampires were a handful. It was for good reason that masters had so much power over their newborns. Otherwise, it would be a complete mess. 

Jaebeom as a newborn vampire… was in the calm category. Jinyoung had been more problematic, not only because he was processing his grief, but because of his inability to control his emotions. Even now it was still difficult for him to control his eye color when he was feeling something too intensely. A remnant of his chaotic time as a newborn. 

But Jaebeom was calm. Well… as calm as a newborn vampire could be. His eyes were red the entire time—a typical trait of newborn vampires. He had difficulty controlling his thirst and strength, and he was overwhelmed by his enhanced senses. But the most problematic thing was…

He wouldn’t stop biting, and in the most unexpected situations. 

Well…

He wouldn’t stop biting **him**.

Jackson had told him that it wasn’t that strange, as some newborn vampires found it calming to bite their masters. 

Jinyoung used his bloodline connection to calm him and help him to better control his vampire traits. It was difficult, but Jaebeom made things easier for him. Except for the fact that… Even if, technically, they were not soulmates anymore as they had broken their curse… They were incredibly in sync. Bloodline connection was mostly used by masters to control their vampires and send orders. However, sometimes they would unconsciously use it to have conversations telepathically. 

He was rediscovering a lot of things about being a vampire, thanks to Jaebeom. 

“I don’t understand why I still can’t leave the house…” Jaebeom pouted from his spot on the couch, his head resting in Jinyoung’s lap. 

“Yes, because you have complete control over your eye color and your fangs,” Jackson said sarcastically from where he was laying on the other couch. 

“I can always wear shades… or color contacts…” Jaebeom said. Jinyoung was quietly combing his fingers through his hair, not really paying attention to their banter. “My fangs… It isn’t that bad…” Suddenly, Jinyoung’s fingers stopped moving and Yugyeom snorted. “Right?” Jaebeom’s crimson eyes looked up at Jinyoung from his lap. 

“Well…” Jinyoung replied. “It’s normal in newborn vampires… It’ll get better. You transformed so recently… we still have plenty of time.” Jinyoung traced an invisible line between his nose piercing and his anti-brow, a tiny metallic constellation.

“Anyways… You can always ‘Netflix and chill’, hyungs… Well… I’m sure you already do.” Yugyeom winked an eye. 

“As if you aren’t doing the same with Bambam, Yugyeom,” Jinyoung said, triumphantly. It was entertaining to watch Yugyeom whine when teased about whatever it was he had with Bambam. “I know your everything… I’m your master.” 

“I know it too!” Yugyeom stuck his tongue out. “At least you aren’t as nasty as Jackson hyung is with Mark hyung.”

“Kim Yugyeom! Respect your supermaster!” Jackson complained.

Jaebeom stopped paying attention to their bickering. He was grateful to have Jinyoung by his side. But sometimes he got frustrated. Stuck inside the whole time was starting to feel like he was still sick in the hospital. He wanted to skip the whole process of acclimation and explore the world with Jinyoung and his new family. 

His chosen family. 

Suddenly, he felt discomfort in his fangs. He couldn’t focus on anything else, it was bothering him the same way his wisdom tooth did in the past. But, as far as he knew, there wasn’t a “vampire dentist” that could treat him. It was a nuisance. 

At least he wasn’t too thirsty, for the moment. 

He felt like he was in a haze. 

Seemed like chewing was helping. 

_Oh… That’s soft._

Just one more small bite. 

_“Jaebeom…”_

_“Oh… Don’t tell me…”_

The banter had died. Everyone was quiet. Calmness washed over Jaebeom’s body and he was finally able to focus. 

His fangs were piercing Jinyoung’s wrist again. His fangs had grown and he had bitten him without realizing. Embarrassed, he went to move his fangs from Jinyoung’s wrist and wait for the Earth to swallow him, when Jinyoung stroked his hair. 

_“Don’t stop… I don’t mind.”_ Jaebeom heard Jinyoung’s voice in his mind.

 _“But… Jackson and Yugyeom…”_ Jaebeom looked at him, his fangs still on his wrist.

 _“As if they haven’t done worse…”_ He swore he could hear Jinyoung’s huff in his mind as he rolled his eyes. _"Ask Youngjae… Jackson's been trying to bite him saying he wants to taste some 'reapers blood'."_

Jaebeom laughed to himself. Fangs still in Jinyoung's wrist and head in his lap, he closed his eyes and relaxed. 

***

Jinyoung’s leg trembled as Jaebeom left kisses along his inner thigh. Laid back on the bed with a cushion behind his lower back, Jinyoung could only see the top of Jaebeom’s head and part of his wide shoulders.

Sexy. 

Jaebeom was moving closer and closer, leaving trails of spit along his skin. There was a thrill anticipating the other’s next move. Jinyoung wiggled his hips, impatient. Jaebeom laid a hand on his wet thigh and raised his head from between his legs. Jaebeom’s crimson eyes were piercing, the pressure growing in his lower half. Without breaking eye contact, Jaebeom slowly moved his hand towards his groin. 

What would be Jaebeom’s next move? 

He wanted to know. 

He needed to know. 

Suddenly, Jaebeom touch ghosted his balls, and Jinyoung’s legs trembled. 

“Jaebeom…” Jinyoung whimpered. 

“So eager…” Jaebeom half smiled, his fangs showing.

He was demonic.

Jaebeom disappeared back down between his legs, and Jinyoung felt his breath ghost against his groin. He instinctively clamped his legs, but Jaebeom put a hand on one of his thighs to keep them spread. Jaebeom continued to lick at him, electricity shooting down Jinyoung’s spine when he suddenly bit the skin of his thigh. 

Jinyoung arched his back and moaned. 

It had been a long time since he had last experienced a vampire bite. To be honest, he couldn’t even remember if he had ever gotten bitten by someone other than Jackson. And even that moment was blurry. He had seen the intense effect the vampire bite had on humans, intense arousal. He also knew how good it felt to bite and suck blood. But getting bitten by one, as a vampire? He had thought that the bite wouldn’t have such an intense effect. He was wrong. It was such a delightful pleasure. Especially when he had a whole Lim Jaebeom between his legs. Plotting his next attack. Playing with uncertainty. 

Jaebeom wouldn’t let him catch his breath—well, technically he couldn’t, because of his nature. It didn’t matter. He didn’t lose time, but he made the most of it. Jaebeom was a big tease and he enjoyed every bit of it. The silent conversation between his touches and Jinyoung’s reaction. The journey towards the climax. All of it. 

Jaebeom rested his hands on Jinyoung’s hips and licked his hole. 

Jinyoung arched his back and his legs trembled. He needed more, he wanted that sensation to last. 

Slow pleasure, like honey, dripping. 

Jinyoung could feel Jaebeom’s tongue easing against his soft entrance, and a whimper fell from his lips. He attempted to grind his hips, wanting both to chase and to escape from that delightful intrusion at the same time. He wanted more, but he didn’t want it to end. It was making him crazy. 

Jaebeom eased in a finger and Jinyoung moaned loudly. He was glad Jackson and Yugyeom weren’t home, otherwise they would tease him to no end. Not that it mattered now, when Jaebeom was fingering him, focused on getting an orgasm out of him. 

“Jaebeom…” Jinyoung’s hands were desperately wringing the sheets as he tried to concentrate. He didn’t want to come yet. Jaebeom licked him again and he almost cried. Was he really about to come just by fingering? Jaebeom was really something. “Hyung… I’m going to come.” 

Jaebeom raised his head, his hair disheveled. He was so effortlessly sexy.

Jinyoung was still trembling. On the edge of pleasure. 

“I want you inside me,” Jinyoung said. 

“As you wish, **master** ,” Jaebeom said and smiled, smug. He knew the power those words had on him. How he could push him to the brink oforgasm, because of them. 

He had to sit back and collect himself.

Jaebeom moved over him, and Jinyoung pulled him down by his hair to kiss him. Drinking from him to satiate a thirst that couldn’t be calmed by blood. Their lips moved sloppily, passionately, and he could feel Jaebeom’s cock brush against his. Teasing that tension that was driving him insane. 

Jaebeom broke the kiss, leaving Jinyoung still thirsty, needy. Jinyoung closed his eyes, breathing hard even though he didn’t need it. It was a habit, one that many vampires had. He heard Jaebeom opening the drawer of the bedside table, and then the click of the cap on the bottle of lube. 

When Jinyoung opened his eyes, he saw Jaebeom’s crimson ones staring at him. Jinyoung knew they were one of the vampire traits he was the most insecure of, so different from the warm chocolate ones he was used to. It was the same for his fangs, which came out easily. 

But Jinyoung loved all the changes. Vampire Jaebeom was the same as human Jaebeom in all the fundamental aspects. For Jinyoung, he was the most beautiful being. 

After everything they had been through, for once everything flowed easily. 

Everything fit. Everything fell into place. 

Jaebeom lined himself up and slowly entered him, and Jinyoung moaned, oversensitive. He rocked his hips, chasing release. Burning, but flowing. Fire and water. Sweetly contradictory. 

Jinyoung clenched his muscles around Jaebeom’s cock, wanting him to feel the same pleasure. 

“Fuck, Jinyoung…” Jinyoung moaned at Jaebeom’s reaction. He wanted more. He clenched again, tightening his hold on Jaebeom, drinking in Jaebeom’s moan. Jinyoung felt lightheaded. Drunk on pleasure. Approaching the top of the stairway leading to the climax.

Jinyoung was on the edge. 

Burning, but flowing. 

Fire and water. 

A sudden move. Jaebeom bit him on his neck and Jinyoung cried out. He screamed his name over and over like a mantra. Like a plea. Jaebeom. Jaebeom. Jaebeom. He came, his whole body jerking with the orgasm. 

Fangs still piercing his skin, he clenched again around Jaebeom’s cock as he chased his pleasure. His own sweet release. When he finally came, Jinyoung was still trembling, still far away in a new universe created by their own big bang. Floating. 

They remained together in bed, satisfied, gazing at each other with a smile. 

"I'll never get enough of this…" Jinyoung whispered.

"It's amazing. It's like riding a rollercoaster with all the adrenaline, but better…" Jaebeom answered, smacking his lips. "And you are so…"

"So what?" Jinyoung laughed.

"So passionate…" 

Jaebeom moved closer to him, their bodies barely touching. He kissed Jinyoung sweetly on the lips.

Suddenly, he opened his eyes in surprise. He jumped.

"I forgot!" he exclaimed.

"What?"

Jinyoung watched him jump out of bed and run to his bag. He started searching for something desperately. 

"What are you looking for?" Jinyoung asked, sitting up on the bed. 

He was so confused.

"Here!"

Triumphant and still completely nude, Jaebeom turned around to show him a piece of old paper.

Really old paper…

_Oh. That._

"I thought you… had already forgotten about it," Jinyoung said, suddenly nervous. 

"No. And I didn't read it, either. I had so much on my mind and…" Jaebeom walked over to the bed and sat on top of the covers. "What is it?"

"It's something you did for me."

Jinyoung's words sent shivers down his spine. What had he accomplished? 

He unfolded the paper with extreme care. The beautiful calligraphy stunned him.

But the text… The meaning… The words…

_Find someone special and let him save you. Be happy. I'll always love you._

Jaebeom understood.

Past-Jaebeom wanted Jinyoung to be happy. Wanted him to have someone who could help him get out of that black hole threatening to consume him at any time. 

And he had loved him, indeed. Jaebeom was sure that his past self would have done anything for Jinyoung. Those words were both a promise and a farewell. He had wanted to save him so Jinyoung could have a second chance, another deep love to heal his wounds.

Jaebeom smiled.

"I think you won’t need this anymore…" he whispered looking at the paper. "We are both special. We've saved each other, and we're going to be happy together." Jaebeom got closer to Jinyoung, leaning over him. "We'll love each other forever. And I’m never going to say something so sentimental again," he smiled.

"That's fine…" Jinyoung whispered, caressing his neck. "I love you, even if you are a little ice cube. I'll just have to melt you."

"I'm waiting… **master**."

Another kiss, another caress, another laugh…

It was the beginning of eternity.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you can find us on twitter! @sylvineando (verse2logy) and @Sandritah_lf (wordswithoutsense) ❤


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